The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

MS roll out exploit prediction with Patch Tuesday

Anonymous Coward

A better solution 

Go

Step 1: Archive important information

Step 2: Wipe drives

Step 3: Install Linux based OS of choice.

Step 4: Install apps

Step 5: Restore data

Step 6: Laugh at the frantic MS updates

Step 7: Rejoice in the improved performance and stability

Step 8: Laugh some more

Step 9: Marvel at the increased flexibility and productivity your new system provides

Step 10: Try to stop giggling

aldude

@A better solution 

Flame

Not better for me - Installed Linux a while back and it's a complicated mess. Also, not sure how you get an improvement in stability, Win XP has never crashed in the many years that I've been using it (I use it every single day). Perhaps Linux is more robust against misuse by clueless fanbois?

I for one am pleased that there will soon be 4 fewer critical vulns in XP!

Quirkafleeg

Here's my prediction… 

Coat

Certainty.

Fraser

@AC 10:58 

Step 11: Grow up, realise that Linux needs updates too.

Anonymous Coward

Overheard in a Windows team meeting the other day 

Happy

...oh, yes, patched on Tuesday, cracked by Thursday. Honestly, I don't know why we bother, can't we just buy them some Macs?

Colin Millar

@A better solution 

Linux

Does that post come as a template with OpenOffice

KarlTh

Look... 

If we who use Windows in part or exclusively, just for the sake of argument, agree that Linux is best, we're complete fuckwits for using anything else, and we would instantly migrate except that we're too stupid to know how, would that be enough for you lot to shut the fuck up?

Fraser

@AC 1214 

Hows about:

Patched on Tuesday,

Tested on Wednesday

Fine on Thursday.

Or are your Windows support just not very good? Only an idiot would rollout a patch without testing it first.

Kanhef

Self-fulfilling prophecies 

Paris Hilton

Predicting exploit code may indicate that it's easy to abuse that vulnerability, leading to the creation of exploit code for it.

Chris Pearson

'A better solution 

Gates Halo

I installed Ubuntu 2 weeks ago, which has crashed more in the odd hour or so here and there than my Windows machine in 18 months.

Oh and I had to install just as many updates as a fresh Windows install as well....so much for point 6.

(btw I run Ubuntu, OSX and XP so I'm no fanboi)

Anonymous Coward

@ aldude 

You seem to have got away without succumbing to Linux fanboy Flame Attack Vector #7b: Those Who Say Linux Is Too Complicated Are Too Stupid To Use Linux And Deserve Their Windows

Anonymous Coward

OS Justification 

Stop

I use linux at work - and see both the pros and cons almost every day, but come on ...

Some people on here feel an compulsive need to reply to every single Patch Tuesday article with a Linux circle jerk. Are you so insecure about your choice of OS that you feel the need to point and gawk every time another OS has to patch? Last time I looked, all the major linux distros update packages quite often, too.

Get a tissue, clean yourself off, and get back to work - since you have Linux, you should be so much more productive than everyone else, right?

Iam Me

For every thing else 

Linux

Bag of Popcorn: 2.50 on debit master card.

Internet connection to view El Reg: 50.00 on debit master card.

Pepsi while reading El Reg: 1.50 on debit master card.

Watching wintards heads explode as anyone dare malign windoze or M$: Priceless.

KarlTh

@Iam Me 

Project much?

Iam Me

@KarlTH 

Not at all, I just enjoy the show which ensues when the windoze fanbois get their knickers in a knot :-).

Anonymous Coward

usability, stability, adaptability... exploited 

Alien

O-FFS... come on .... If you (like me) have a computer with any version of windows on it, you are already being exploited. If you (like me) have got a computer with a linux distribution on it, you can't install Crysis on it... and if you (like me) like to "right click" then you don't buy into the apple playgroup. Ok - that about covers the bloody fanboiz. - flame away t*rds.

Linux (Ubuntu in my limited case) - built by peer review, updates AFTER testing, customer support via massive forum: works fine, updates quietly in the background, continues to work fine. Browses great, asks sensible questions, provides realistic online security, free. BUT - no playtime unless you like soduko and winding up people on "el reg".

Windoez (XPerversions 2 and 3 for me), on the other hand^H monitor - built by committee, released 2 years before testing is complete, customer support via chequebook: works fine, but updates intrude on any other software running, microsh4ft software conflicts with micro$hit software, asks stupid questions (often two or three times), provides superficial online security, phuking expensive... BUT - plays BF 2142, san Andreas, Grid, Cod4, F.E.A.R., Rainbow 6, ToCA3, Command&Conquor AND Crysis.

Moral of this story - LEARN TO BUILD YOUR PC PROPERLY and take a course in "reading the bloody installation notes". I don't know.... apathetic bloody planet, I've got absolutely no sympathy.

Pascal Monett

Thoroughly trolled 

The trolls got in early on this one at look at the result.

Blain Hamon

@Iam me 

Alert

Meh. It gets old after a decade or two. You grow up, realise that OS flame wars are a waste of your time, and nothing good ever comes from it.

More so, you begin to realize that even if you don't use windows in the slightest, it's still important that it gets fixed. Think of all the spam and botnet traffic that reduces availible bandwidth upstream. Think of all the searchable data on you, stored on unknown servers, where a security hole could lead to identity theft.

Schaudenfraude is much less sweet when it can affect you as well.

KarlTh

Except that 

No-one's knickers are in a knot, nor am I a "windoze fanboi". It's just getting a little predictable - any story about Windows, someone posts a totally unrealistic "just migrate to Linux your problems will be over" or similar bit of geeky mental masturbation.

@AC - don't forget Flame 4x: "That May Have Been True In The Past But Recent Linux Distributions Aren't Like That", which frankly I now rank along with the frequent Creationist claims that evolutionary theory is about to be disproven any day now.

Oh dear. Compare Linux fanbois to creationists. Now the flames really will come in. Tee hee.

John

PATCHy.... to say the least 

Boffin

Ahhh. You gotta love them patches. I got patched up yesterday (along with the rest of the world, I imagine). Windows Update notifcation said the usual click here to download updates. This went quite nicely, but after a few minutes it was still stuck on "0% downloaded". I switched the computer off and tried WU from the start menu, This said it would take about 15 minutes. So I clicked Download. After downloading the 1st program it then ground to a halt. Cutting a long story short the whole affair took 3 1/2 hours and approximately 6 ot 7 restarts as WUn also tried to download the updates itself (this was a bit like War Games, as I couldn't stop it). At one time both WU's were downloading at the same time, and both wanted me to restart. Anyway, I eventually got patched up, but it wasn't as easy as it was on previous attempts.

Microsoft is a global organisation, so why can't it stick some servers in Fiji or in the 24 timezones, so when the world wakes up it can access the servers or it can get it's patches off a local server instead of crashing the network by having everyone downloading of the same servers at the same time, or am I being naive?

"No system is totally secure..." David (Matthew Broderick) Lightman War Games 1983.

Paul

the dreaded non-disclosure 

Gates Horns

"The Microsoft Active Protections Program (MAPP),/~/ will operate under non-disclosure agreements."

Ooh! I bet the hackers are shaking in thier boots at that!