I'm getting at least two or three emails a day asking for security updates and these are "from" HSBC. Pain in the arse. Sometimes, for a larff, I go to these URLs and enter junk in the fields (usually stuff along the lines of f**ck of you phishing wank*r), but it's just unfortunate that some still for it.

I have no sympathy for anyone who has lost money to a phishing scam. What do people imagine that "We will never contact you via the Internet" in their bank's terms and conditions means?

Does anyone know if British workers still have the legal right to insist on payment in cash? I sometimes wonder whether I might not be better off without a bank account. .....

The banks have been telling us that they have got GAZZILIONZ of UKPoundsSterling for us to use but the moment someone turns up and says, ok then, lend us a fiver the response is, "OMG - it's not as easy as that, first you have to invest in us, and we take a cut, and then we take a bonus cut, and then we take a holiday in the Seychelles and a couple of acres in Florida... then you have to send us a couple of monkeys to facilitate the transfer, and a couple more to buy a nice suitcase to put it in, and perhaps cover the cost of a hotel whilst we wire the money to you and can you throw in this gourd?"