back to article Canada sex shop heist shafts proprietress

Spare a kinky kind thought for one Wicked Wanda this Friday - the Canadian sex shop owner has been robbed of vibrators to the tune of $2,000. Two sticky light-fingered blighters swiped the joysticks from Wicked Wanda's Adult Emporium in Ottawa at around 2.30am on Thursday morning, cnews reports. However, 41-year-old Wanda Cotie …

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Paris Hilton

Giggidy giggidy giggidy goo

lol what a fantastic opportunity to cram as many innuendo's in as possible lol

Loved the sticky fingers reference Sarah lol

Paris because she's knows all about sticky stuff ;)

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Paris Hilton

"How do you get rid of vibrators?"

Sell at local Car Butt sale?

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Anonymous Coward

where is the link to the ...

12-page analysis of the Icelandic bank crisis??

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: where is the link to the ...

My apologies. I'll go back and add it in for anyone who wants to read it.

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Stop

"Naughty things merchant"?

Did the lude-o-generator pack up or something?

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The link for

the 12-page analysis of the Icelandic bank crisis?: www.theyrefucked-werefucked-everybodysfucked.com.

(Or was that the sex shop's url?)

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Thumb Up

Can you imagine...

..them being caught. And the clerk reading the charges in court!!!!!

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Heart

So what...

...if it isn't news. We love you for it anyway.

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Thumb Up

Sarah...

I love you.

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Silver badge
Happy

Tech angle?

Maybe you should have included a line wondering if the unfortunate lady stocked the USB vibrator (I kid you not!) as seen at http://gadgets.fosfor.se/the-top-10-weirdest-usb-devices-ever/ (strangely, the wife said she'd rather have the USB slippers....).

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Anonymous Coward

A recovering epileptic writes

Couldn't seem to get past page 1 of the 12 page analysis of the Icelandic terror attack.

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Happy

Icelandic Bank analysis

I think that link would be better captioned as "Free online epilepsy test!"

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Joke

Maybe they want them for...

that well known alternative bar 'sport' of "vibrator racing"!

(Hmmmm. Hmm-hmm-hmm hmm-hmm hmm-hmm-hmm hmm....)

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Coat

Sarah

Has anyone else noticed that the lovely Ms. Bee here gets all the lewd, "naughty" articles? I'm forced to come to the conclusion that Sarah is El Reg's certified sexcapade expert. One would suppose that would make for an interesting work environment, to say the least.

@Echowitch -- innuendos aren't the only thing getting crammed in.

Mine's the one that's ribbed for my pleasure.

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Re: where is the link to the ...

Blimey, rick roll'd 2004 style!!

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Coat

I'm curious

What did she mean by "the German stuff"?

The stuff they took, yep, understood that. Butt-plugs, seahorses, yep, makes sense. But just "the German stuff"? My imagination reels, but the only one that might get past the moderators is "Paris Hilton, wearing nothing but Leiderhosen, being hosed down with lager" (then I run out of racial stereotypes). I think I'd have skipped it too...

Mine's the one with a Bunny and some poppers in the pocket (what do you mean "that isn't what a rampant rabbit is"?)

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YEAAHH!!!

giggity giggity giggity giggity giggity giggity GOOOOOOOO

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Joke

Should be easy for the police to solve.

With a crime like this, there should be some sort of buzz on the streets.

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Anonymous Coward

over in Ireland...

we have a creche called sticky fingers. Have always wondered what the deal with that was!

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Silver badge

Not a cock up

Not exactly daylight rubbery, then? Not even a stick-up. Just breaking and entering.

Obviously the work of blokes as I would expect discerning females to snatch the quality items.

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Anonymous Coward

I'm disappointed ...

... that the Bootnotes weren't Booty Notes, and (seeing as Sarah wrote it) that there was not one single 'boffinry'.

The robbers were obviously hard men. I have to ask, though, was the member of the press completely satisfied or did he feel a little stiffed on landing this assignment? I can't help but think that this story can only be a plug for Wanda's business, but then again maybe it's a pain in the butt - it depends on the angle.

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Bronze badge

I am truly disappointed

I have been waiting for El Reg to do something about the idiots over at mtv and you lost the opportunity.

I refer of course to http://ema.mtv.co.uk/news/

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Go

German stuff

AC - by 'German stuff' I think the proprietress means the exceptionally high-quality silicone toys produced by our Teutonic friends. Instead of the cheap, rubbery, end-of-pier novelty stuff produced everywhere else, the Krauts have applied Vorchsprung Durch Technik to vibes and dildos to create some outstanding gear.

http://www.funfactory.de/uk/ if you're interested in this sort of thing! (NSFW obviously)

Geekette

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Pirate

eh?

"not especially sex-toy-friendly Georgia, USA"

Based on what?

There's adverts for some stores on the radio stations, even during 'drive time' (used to be common on the now defunct 99X) and just outside Macon, I seem to remember a billboard next to the interstate advertising one there. Ok, there might be limited alcohol sales on Sundays, and more churches than even God can count (in my town of 270 people, there's NINE churches! By contrast, I think thats as many churches still in use in the West Derby and Tuebrook areas of Liverpool, where I grew up) but sex-toy-unfriendly? Hardly. The wives of the 'good-ol-boys' need something to make up for the lack of skill of their partners - heck they make Bottom's Richard Richard look like Hugh Heffner

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Bronze badge
Happy

Check

"... binding the employees with the very handy black fur handcuffs ..."

Are you sure that was done as part of the robbery?

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Georgia not sex shop friendly?

You gotta be kidding me! Try driving up I-75 from Florida where there are huge billboards advertising everything from sex shops to topless bars to not-so-discrete "massage" services every few hundred feet. Oh and if you're worried, there's always the one that tells you where to get a cheap vasectomy before you go....

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Bronze badge

Errrr....

@ Echowitch -- cram innuendo...? OW!

@ Brett Harris "...the clerk reading the charges in court!!!!!"

Some years ago, when local prosecutors were trying to close down some of the dirty bookstores, they would raid the places, confiscate a couple boxes full of books and magazines and try to get them declared offensively obscene.

Of course, before they went to trial, they had to list the details of the trial in the "legal notices" section of the classified ads in all of the local newspapers, notifying anyone who wanted to comment on the matter at hand to contact the court. This generally resulted in four-column-inch-long adverts -- in VERY small type -- listing such titles as... well, you can probably imagine... without any ellipses or asterisks to conceal the ruder words (since it WAS a legal notice).

I always wondered what the clerks working the Classified Ads desk, or the newspapers' typesetters thought when those ads came in the door!

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Paris Hilton

I demand... a Playmobil reconstruction!

...featuring Paris.

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Coat

But were they...

...hardened criminals?

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Gold badge

@ I'm curious

Thanks for that typo - "Leiderhosen" is a IMHO destined to be a classic for anyone understanding a bit of German.

The word is "Lederhosen", but Leiderhosen is soo much better given what they are. (Leider is sort of equivalent to "alas" :-). Quality!

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What's all this, then?

No sex, eh? We're Canucks.

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Happy

@ Sarah Bee

As per the opening title, what do I have to do to get more from you?

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Paris Hilton

The German stuff

There are some bloody awesome sex toys made by an outfit called FunFactory in Germany. Groovy designs, nice colours (not fake-penis pink), top quality silicone (not cheap hard plastics), and powerful little motors. At least, so I've been told. *cough* They also cost significantly more than the cheap crap, and have a recognised brandname, so obviously the thieves had no clue, whether it was for self-entertaining or on-selling.

Paris, because she probably doesn't know about FunFactory toys either.

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