Feeds

back to article Birmingham Airport in X-rated X-ray shocker

Birmingham International Airport last week released its 2007-2008 Report and Accounts (pdf) - an engrossing 33-page read which explains why the facility "increasingly offers a high-quality alternative for those Midlands passengers who currently fly from other airports, to travel instead from Birmingham". Well, there's one …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
Coat

What a disgrace

You can clearly see two bottles of liquid, not in a ziplock bag, and possibly some nail clippers too.

I'd be embarrassed if I showed up at airport security with that bag.

0
0
Happy

Oh come on.......

A worker actually said that “It’s a bit of a cock-up."

Please......

0
0
Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

Intentional?

At least it looks to me like it was intentional...

Paris, because she knows how to enjoy these shenanigans.

0
0
Silver badge
Alert

Hmm...

I can see great opportunities for fun here. Take a sheet of cardboard and stick on some letters cut from tinfoil, eg "F*CK OFF, NOSY GIT!"

0
0
Anonymous Coward

not a medical condition

I always thought that a strapadicktome was a medical condition

Thank you, I'm here all week.

0
0
Alert

Districting the Security Gate team?

I'm more worried about the fact that this passenger appears to be carrying a corkscrew onboard, and the people operating the scanners seem to have been looking the other way.

0
0
Silver badge

@Graham Marsden

'I can see great opportunities for fun here. Take a sheet of cardboard and stick on some letters cut from tinfoil, eg "F*CK OFF, NOSY GIT!"'

- A great idea if you fancy a quick trip into a side-room with a burly security-type guy with large hands and a pair of rubber gloves.

0
0
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Reminds me of a film I once saw...

'Throwers don't worry about ticking. Modern bombs don't tick.'

'Throwers?'

'Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, the throwers have to

call the police.'

'My suitcase was *vibrating*?'

1
0
Silver badge

A friend wanted so set someone up

He was going to throw out an old case and knew a neighbour would have made off with it (one of those areas).

He planned to cut a gun shape from a metal plate, peel back the lining of the case and glue it out of sight.

Never found out what happened though.

0
0
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: A friend wanted so set someone up

How community-minded! What did he care if a neighbour took something he left on the pavement because he couldn't be arsed to take it to the tip?

Still, I'm sure that'll make a lovely b3ta QOTW answer one day.

0
0
DMG
Thumb Up

"A" dildo

Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor. But … every once in a while … it's a dildo.

Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, "a dildo", never … your dildo.

0
0
Coat

deep interrogation of luggage

Is nothing sacred! While many security organisation don't think a woman's personal fun time activities should be made public, apparently airport security's system for Deep Interrogation of Luggage - (DIL) DO.

coat.... thanks

0
0
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@Sarah Bee

A b3tard! I knew it!

0
0

@reminds me of a film i once saw.

Thats not from Fight Club is it?

0
0
Silver badge

@Martin Burns

Could have been a scan of checked baggage, which happens fairly regularly. That would explain the corkscrew and the liquids.

0
0
Flame

Sadly, metal backed stuff doesn't quite work...

The Xray people are not completely daft. A journalistic friend of mine opened his suitcase to find that his editor had wrapped a cucumber in aluminium foil (designed to show up on xray) - Of course there was no TSA paper in the suitcase and no pulled-aside thing either. This is post-9/11...

So yes, people, if you think a gun shape will do the trick, dream on.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

The KEEP the scans?

So are we saying they now store the scans?

What about the new body scans, where they use a body scanner to undress the person, do the store those too? Maybe pass around a bloopers tape at Christmas like the Rozzers & BBC staff do?

0
0
Emo
Joke

It's quite

Clearly a cock shaped gun!

But did it go off? haha!

0
0
Gold badge
Coat

I have a question.

....for the airport worker who apparently described this as "a bit of a cock-up."

Is that your tongue in your cheek, or.............?

The American WWII life-preserver please.

0
0
Flame

Scanners

See, this is the problem I have with 'promises' about things like scanners.

Case in point - the 'see through your clothes' scanners that are proposed, that will allegedly be done by people in another room and not recorded etc.

Do they seriously expect anyone to believe that images will not find their way onto the Internet or the media?

0
0
Pirate

A possible qotw answer?

Or topic, for that matter. Anything that prevents me from composing ditties about sitting on the bog with no loo roll in easy reach.

0
0
Coat

Scanners Undress . . .

Scan me if you are that way inclined . . . scan the wife and you might get bruised . . . scan my kids and I'll have you arrested !!!

CD's in the poket time for lunch . . .

0
0
Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

Happened to me once...

Years ago, on a flight to JFK, somehow, my electric toothbrush switched on in my checked-in luggage (Honest, Guv) and when I retrieved my bags to rebook 'em on a flight to Dallas, I heard this odd buzzing sound....

Never detected. 'Course, it was pre-"9/11"

Bloody thing had been on most of the trip.

Moral - buy a Philips. They work for longer

(Paris, natch. - Anyone want to take a wild guess?)

0
0
Alert

@deep interrogation of luggage

woman's fun time? I've got a feeling that's not a womans luggage.

a) the balls on the dildo suggest it's anal

b) no bra wires showing up

c) the edt bottles look like male brands

Plus, I'm a bit worried as to what that long object at the top of the case is (above the ipod speakers)

0
0
ian
Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar...

but not in this case (double-entendre intended).

PH because this might have been hers, if this weren't Brum.

0
0

Quite impressive

I was under the impression that the staff were regularly tested with replica guns, knives, bombs, etc, to make sure they are awake, and let 9 out of 10 through.

0
0

@deep interrogation of luggage

>>> a) the balls on the dildo suggest it's anal

wow, you clearly know a lot more about this kind of stuff than me. Mind you even if I could tell my dildos apart, I'm not sure I'd want show my skills off to everyone!

0
0

Strange combo if items to carry...

"Plus, I'm a bit worried as to what that long object at the top of the case is (above the ipod speakers)"

Looks very much like an electric soldering iron to me, just hope those two items never get confused!

As to why the liquids aren't in a zip back, you don't need to for checked luggage, only carry on.

0
0
Joke

@Emo

I wouldn't worry, it's just shooting blanks

0
0

The long object in the top...

... looks like a hair curling iron to me, would also explain the hair curling rollers in the bottom of the case.

0
0

@anonymous coward

Um ... just out of interest, why do the balls suggest it's anal?

0
0
Paris Hilton

@phil

so it doesn't go in too far and get lost....like gerbils, eh?

paris knows

0
0
Paris Hilton

But check the batteries

As long as they're not Lithium ion, it should be okay.

PH? WTFN? Everybody else is.

0
0
Bronze badge

@Graham Marsden

The dido they are going to use on you will make a porno star faint

0
0
Anonymous Coward

@@deep interrogation of luggage

I know a lot of tech types haven't actually met a woman, but I got to tell you we have anuses too. And from what I accidentally saw online one time, in terms of adult novelty items such as this, if it'll go up a back bottom it'll go up a front one too.

Therefore, could very well be a woman's luggage - just thought I'd flag that up.

0
0
IT Angle

F*ck Me!

Not a single comment about the IT angle on this article - so here it is.

0
0
Stop

Not what you think

What's embarrassing about a vibrating 'Force Action' Darth Vader figure? I'm sure some of you people are disturbed. This is not the case you're looking for, he (ok, she) can go about his (her) business.

Mine's the cloak.

0
0
This topic is closed for new posts.