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back to article Commentard completely loses the plot

There was time when incoherent rage was directed solely at we poor Reg hacks, long before the days of Democracy 2.0 and our ill-advised decision to allow the hoi polloi to chip their two bits' worth into the hotly-debated topics of the day. Well, we're delighted to offer you this crisp autumn afternoon an outburst worthy of the …

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Easy to find out who wrote that

It's the guy that went postal this week.

He wore button-down, Oxford-cloth shirts.and stalked from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. Some of us may even have known him for years.

In fact, it could have been someone very, very close to some of us.

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damn - busted... lol

not really me...

what a tool!

i cite:

"Yorkshirepudding - abandon ship me harties yaaarr - well the fact you cant spell hearties correct makes me want to take on board you advice, could you ell me what schools you went to so I never send my kids there"

can't, correctly, your, tell

i would also agrue there really isnt a correct spelling of hearties.. since there were so many spellings of wrods back from those days. we cant just use shakespear for this as he made words rhyme by changing spellings iirc

"What a pointless and poorly reported story, I'm not surprised this Hack reporter can only get a job working for a shitty website. as for some of your comments, dam you people need life's fucking retards," - i cant even start on this one! FAIL! and go back to school!

"either way it makes as much sense a stroke victim" - hmmm dark but i do like that one... sorry but i never said i didnt have bad taste lol

"so how many company's have you worked for that have party's on Guy Fawkes night or are you just taking shit so you can pretend to sound like you have a point to make, what a cock"

party, parties, party's (although not sure something could belong to a party exactly lol).... company companies, company's - not rocket science is it.

i do have to wonder what's up with the nation. im an ex space-cadet who never listened opr worked hard at school - yet on the reg we see some dreadful use of grammar... dont people know how to read n write any more? (i know i dont capitalise etc... im lazy... bum i know tenses hehe)

keep it up reg... keep up the none-it angle stories (we arent all geeks who like nothing more that knowing about a new linux kernel or a new flangegasket that will change the world)

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Coat

Brilliant.

'Nuff said.

Did he leave his coat on the way out?

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Murphy's Law

There is a well known corollary to Murphy's law that any post criticising the spelling of another post will be incorrectly spelled.

However in this case we have reached a new level. A post flaming several other posters for posting shite is in fact almost totally incoherent shite.

Well done. I really hope this idiot posts a lot more frequently in future.

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you complete f*cking spunk bubble

Love it! That'll be my standard retort here at the office next week...

Almost as good as the old SNL "Jane you ignorant slut"

Happy Friday!

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Coat

Spelling?

I think it's a bit unfair having a pop at the general reg readers regarding spelling; the flamer couldn't even use an apostrophie properly!

Tut tut:

"worked for that have party's"

Sigh......

"worked for that have partys" :-)

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asshat

i believe that is all

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Anonymous Coward

@ John Bayly

The first rule of FoTW is you do not talk about FoTW, the second rule of FoTW is you do NOT talk abot FoTW

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Coat

Sort yourselves out or the Moderatrix will, well, you know...

Sorry, I actually don't know. Could you send me a jpeg?

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Happy

Imagine my disappointment

...when the one comment wasn't from the guy (I'm guessing) who posted the original foaming-mouth toss. Brilliant stuff though. The man is truly the voice of modern Britain, and I'm not just taking shit.

.

By the way, "the hoi polloi?" Tsk - surely everyone knows that "hoi" means "the"? well the fact you cant speek ainchent greek correct makes me want to take on board you advice, could you ell me what schools you went to so I never send my kids there

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@ Damm Yank

I believe, it's actually, "Jane, you ugly, misguided Slut".

;-)

"spunk bubble" ... totally awesome !

May I be the first to nominate this one for FOTY ?

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@ Spelling

I think you meant apostrophe?

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RW
Unhappy

I'm heartbroken

Here I waste hours carefully polishing my prose, sprinkling references to Our Divine Moderatrix over the result in order to assure both piquancy and flavor, and what do I get? Ignored, that's what I get. Boo hoo fucking hoo.

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Flame

The Matrix is just like the usual user-generated Web Content, Mr Anderson...

Mr. Smith must have been frothing like that for himself while observing the unsuspecting humans living in the invisible prison with him. Ah yes.

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Jobs Horns

So is this...

So am I currently posting a comment on an article of a comment of comments on an article? Or am I merely posting a comment on comments of comments of an article? Because I'm getting confused.

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bob
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great

best fotw for some time

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As Much Sense as A Stroke Victim

Hahahahah. Hahahaha. That's classic!

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Re: Spelling?

Pure legend:

"Tut tut:

"worked for that have party's"

Sigh......

"worked for that have partys" :-)"

Also to the above poster, party's works fine, "party's balloons", "party's music", or even "the party's great" if you want to get away from the possessive. Of course you could also have "the party's way was blocked" :-)

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Paris Hilton

Moderatrix?

Just out of curiousity what is she doing for Halloween?

I have a couple of tickets for Antichrist.....

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The Hoi Polloi...

... wahey! That didn't take long. Allow me to decimate your argument, Robajob: We are speaking English, not Greek. Thank you for your time.

...

Go on, do it. Correct my use of "decimate". You know you want to.

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Joke

@ John Bayly :-)

"stalked from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine"

Oooh, la de da! Aren't you the posh one. All we had round our way was cheap Chinese AK knock offs, and we were pleased just to have _that_!

Tip for would be gun toting sKoolSassins : Despatching your appalling brat class-mates and facist scum mind controlling teachers to meet their maker in a witheringly righteous hail of NATO surplus lead is only big and clever if you walk away alive and free from prosecution. You're all, like, totally doing it wrong, duh! *

Just blow the place up and then say you were at the dentist that day, m'kay ? Seriously, it's not rocket science.

Wait a minute, what were we talking about again, oh...

*No one will ever print that on a T-Shirt for me, humourless bastards.

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Rat
Flame

Spunk Bubble

Seems like the article in question touched a nerve - which pretty much confirms to me that that excruciatingly written vitriol was shat out by one of the top brass at whichever forgettably mediocre telco the article was about.

The risible spelling and grammar can only be the product of a public school, so clearly his English Master spent too much time penetrating and not enough time educating.

All in all, 2/10. Your troll-fu is weak, rich wanker. Go back to fucking your employees.

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Linux

He has gone totally "Rodger Irrelevant" love it!

I love these flame rants; shame you pulled the comment!

Would have been fun whatching the responses! :)

Pingu because now one understands his rants either!

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Pirate

4 step plan

1. Remove all lower case 'l's from the word 'talking'

2. Remove some other random letters

2. ??????

3. PROFIT

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Pirate

4 step plan

1. Remove all lower case 'l's from the word 'talking'

2. Remove some other random letters

3. ??????

4. PROFIT

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"Spunk bubble"

Phenomenal. Just, phenomenal.

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Happy

"you people need life's fucking retards"

Ah yes, we all need a few of life's fucking retards every now and then...

Reg can always make me smile on a Friday :)

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Reg Flamers are Hacks

I love the fact that every FoTW that gets posted is, ironically, from a hack retard calling El Reg or El Reg's Fanbase "Hacks", "retards", "idiots", and my new favorite "dam you people need life's fucking retards". Nothing says brilliant to someone such as myself as the aforementioned statement. Although... If someone's already said this, I apologize, but if you correct and slightly adjust his statement:

"Damn, you people needs lives fucking retards." -Most likely what he meant

"Damn, you people need... (you are) life's fucking retards." -Wildly funny in my head

Anyway, El Reg is the best. Keep up the mediocre work, it's better than I can do.

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@ StillNoCouch

We were both close... From a SNL transcripts web site.

Season 3: Episode 18

"Jane, you ignorant, misguided slut!"

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"Damn, you people needs lives fucking retards."

Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I definitely need a life fucking retards.

Did I type that out loud?

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The Other Steve

When I say an "AR-10 carbine", it was really just a lead pipe, but it was an "AR-10 carbine" to us.

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Anonymous Coward

Erm

Regarding the comment about Daily Mail readers, I do hope staff at The Reg. aren't completely oblivious to the fact that in the past few years The Reg. has become the IT industry equivalent of the Daily Mail?

Surely no one at The Register believes this is truly a well respected news site amongst the professional IT community?

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must be

a slow news day

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Black Helicopters

Troll

..And not a very good one if you ask me..

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Bronze badge

Where have you been?

Firstly I am amazed at the number of people who are new to the word spunkbubble, that was the nickname of one of my class mates in the sixties due to his predilection for shall we say distraction in class.

Secondly, this plotless, vitriolic and tumescent `commentard´is obviously a genius and should be employed immediately as a Daily Mail journalist ( if he is not already one). His work can only be described as :- Beautiful, prosaic and insightful regarding the population of El Reg Commenters at large, a community of which, I proudly, in a humble way, consider myself to be a member of.

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Alien

missed rant opportunity

I can't even begin to imagine what that guy would've thought if Amanfrommars had commented.

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Happy

Magnificent!

Anyone who can flame like that should have a power station built round him ... this feller's a strong contender for FoTY!

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Happy

@The other steve

>"sKoolSassins"

No matter how many random capitals you put in the middle of words, you'll never be a patch on the sheer elegance and class that is amanfromMars.

Give it up now, spunk bubble!

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IT Angle

Meh

This guy sounds like a complete twatdangler.

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Unhappy

Partys, party's...

You guys are kidding, right?

All together now: "parties"!

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You'll take this too far

and he'll sue for definition of character.

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Happy

@RW

Well, you spent hours polishing something, but it wasn't your prose....ha.ha.ha.

Mmmmmmm.....Moderatrix......drooling like homer simpson.

For a guy who writes "spunk bubble", you just know he's got a "sperm brain©".

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This post has been deleted by its author

Anonymous Coward

From now on

It must be Oi! P*lloi! - or sumfink like that

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Happy

Truly rich, indeed

I see the poster of the 'interesting comment' seems to be a little lacking in the vocabulary department, if he has to resort to such heavy use of profanity. Might I suggest El Reg consider sending him a brand-new thesarus for Christmas? :-)

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Daily Mail

"Surely no one at The Register believes this is truly a well respected news site amongst the professional IT community?"

Well, at Oracle Open World last week, after Larry's keynote, the Oracle website went titsup again. It was amusing to watch all those IT pros in their booths first trying oracle.com, and then, when they got an error, heading straight for theregister.com to see what was up with Oracle :)

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Unhappy

Spunk bubble - that's MINE!

I have been using spunkbubble (no space) for years and genuinely thought I'd coined the term.

Now I am devastated! Some other retard has appropriated it and the world (or, rather, the entire readership of El Reg) will think it is his (or her) coinage.

Time for a bit of pre-emption. I hereby lay sole claim to 'pusbubble' and 'pusbucket' and assert my intellectual right to be regarded as the originator of the terms. Infringements of my copyright will be dealt with severely. Go get 'em, Sarah....

PS: I recommend to all Reg readers the FoTW guide here:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/01/12/how_to_write_a_flame/

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Let's see now

1) Poor Spelling.

2) Grammatically incorrect.

3) No sense of irony.

4) Illogical.

Those 4 points would normally scream "American" but he said "spunk bubble" which would put him around 30+ years old (but in primary school in terms of language), and he almost undoubtedly lives with his parents, plus, chances are the only posted because his usual porn sites were down for maintenance.

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Paris Hilton

He's joking right, no one can be that stupid

Cue Sideshow Bob stepping on a rake noise...

Paris because her (quality) flicks make more sense than this spunkbubble

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Go

Glass Houses - FoTW

Poor fool, you just shattered you own glass house. I guess God complexes are easy to develop these days huh dud?. Oh sorry...meant to type "dude".

Hang in there bud and keep the laughs coming. I do love a good clown act and you just vaulted into my #1 position.

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