I didn't realise we had a capitol in the UK!

capitol -> capital

That guy must have been legless.

Mines the one with one arm sewn up.

Er, the UK doesn't have a capitol. While the US capital (Washington) has a capitol (the government building occupied by the state legislature, where the United States Senate and the House of Representatives meet), the UK's capital doesn't have a capitol. Please get it right next time, and try not to write in ALL CAPITOLS...

A comment is required, in addition to a title.

... half a ton of sensitive government data was found.

You know I think we have this all wrong I don't think the government does lose data, I think they are using public transport as a cheaper alternative to storage, if that is correct then I applaud them for their cashable efficiency drive ;)

Mine's the one with nothing in the pockets cause I left it all in a taxi.

From the last sentance I assume that Heather Mills can still afford her taxi fairs, though I for one didn't know she had false teeth

Devil Bill becasue all the apple fanbois will claim it's Bills fault that people are stupid enough to leave their laptops behind (and twice as guilty when an i product is left behind)

Now explain how from a a total of poll of 300 London cabbies, they can work out that exactly 55,843 phones were lost, not 55842 or 55844 phones. You would be lucky to get an estimate within +/-2000 with that sample size.

Merkin -> http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/merkin

Make your work easier, *and* earn extra cash into the bargain!

Simply apply for a job as a London cabbie. No more risky breaking into offices in the dead of night to photograph files on a microfilm camera! No more midnight dead-drops behind a tree on a frozen windswept Hampstead Heath! No more hours listening to crackly lo-fi wiretaps! Ladies, no more unpleasant sweaty honey-trap work!

Just drive around all days swearing at cyclists, and before you know it, pissed up MI5 officers will have left all the information your foreign "sponsors" could ever ask for!