back to article Net-talking toaster to burn news onto bread

Many things have appeared on toast: Marmite, Vegemite, jam and even Cylons. Now a designer’s invented a toaster that can burn pretty much anything onto your morning slice, including the news. mad_toaster The Scan Toaster: toasts news, weather and pictures onto your bread The Scan Toaster connects to a PC over USB and …

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Avi

*checks date*

It's nowhere near April...

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Paris Hilton

Well

At least this will make some news stories easier to digest!!

Will it be able to put Paris on my toast, think of the fun!!

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Silver badge

Cool

Ha. This is what computers are good for! I want one.

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Ian
Stop

Fine if you like dry toast

Otherwise it goes cold while you read the news or you go straight for the butter and marmalade which will obscure the text. I think I'll stick with the paper thanks.

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Coat

better reinvention of old idea

google for java toaster weather

still, this might be next best thing to sliced bread!

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Silver badge
Stop

Old news...

It's been done before...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/1264205.stm

and also in fact

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/03/30/java_toaster_prints_weather_forecast/

...still think it's a rubbish idea though!

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cap n crunch

The google appliance?

Burn ads for breakfast cereals onto toast.

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This post has been deleted by its author

Heart

I gotta have one!

And I want it firewire powered.

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Thumb Up

Seriously...

I'm actually enougth of a geek that I WOULD by this.

This NEEDS to be mass produced!

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Paris Hilton

How you going

to read the news through butter and Marmite!

Paris cos I bet she likes Marmite.

Efros

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Silver badge
Happy

Is there a color version?

Do you need special toast to burn in the highest resolution?

How many spm can it do?

Does it duplex?

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Flame

Toast

Oh I must have one!

Can we start a Reg Petition to force electrolux to manufacture this.

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Flame

won't your toast go cold while you read it?

that toasted news is at least a couple of minutes of reading.

<--toasty

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Flame

A better idea

is a USB microwave

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Anonymous Coward

Erm?

This is a bit old shirley

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/06/04/bread_as_a_display_device/

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Flame

It's not April Fools' day today...

Presumably on a slow news day you just get a piece of bread.

Also, wouldn't the toast be cold by the time you have read the news when it comes to actually eating it?

Although I suppose it does make it easier to burn a crude image of Jesus or the Virgin Mary onto it, for a quick sale on eBay.

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Used to be only the weather

The Register had this from 2001:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/06/04/bread_as_a_display_device/

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Coat

How about email...

Then when the bit on the side emails me, I can eat the evidence?

Or use the device for a daily pr0n fix!

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Finally it's here!

The paperless office.

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Coat

Come back

...Talky Toaster, all is forgiven.

Getting my coat because endless references to cult comedy classics was old before Python made their first film...

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Thumb Up

Ebay here we come!

I wonder how many virgin marys and jesuses you could sell on ebay before the naturally gullible religious nuts catch on.

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Go

Spammed toast

How long until there is malware that will put "v1agra" adverts on the toast instead of my daily news?

I for one will still welcome our toast messaging overloards. We need more computer connected kitchen appliances.

On that note, where the hell is my networked coffee maker? I want one! (no puns about a java interface please.)

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Tom
Silver badge
Joke

The question is this: Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite

would you like a toasted tea-cake?

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Marmite.

When hot, Marmite gets quite thin and runny. Surely you could ink jet that onto toast in any image you like.

Maybe lacking in contrast against well done toast though.

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ben
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orange peppers for breakfast?

since when has a slice of toast - however it is marked - been accompanied by two finely sliced bits of orange pepper?

yours,

first time poster

keebo

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Boffin

scroll error

reading - top down

toast eating - bottom up

So I guess it's best to print in two halves

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Flame

Hold on a second!

How does one distinguish between a picture from the morning news and, say, an apocalyptic message from God heralding one's imminent doom? After all, as regulars here know, toast is a preferred medium of divine revelation.

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Thumb Down

Nope

Not really such a hot idea is it? I mean newsprint, for example, is mostly white. That means that if you printed news on it, you'd basically be eating mostly un-toasted bread. If it's been in the fridge it could even still be decidedly chilly.

The examples in the picture show this quite clearly. Loads of cold, stodgy white bread in between the rather small interesting bits. Not exactly what you want to underpin your Oxford marmalade at breakfast, now is it?

FAIL.

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Thumb Up

Hungy for news?

There are on consideration a few pitfalls I can see which would make me not want this is, but I'm sure they could be resolved!

1) It only seems to do 1 slice at a time :/

2) If it's a busy news day I'm gonna need alot of bread

3) It would need a media size detection feature so as to work out that I have instead toasted a waffle!

Also would this have a duplex option?

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Happy

At last, the Red Dwarf Joke

Too busy makin' the world work to have fun you joyless admins.

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Silver badge

Imagine the possibilities

You can read a news story printed on a slice of toast about the image of Jesus appearing on a slice of toast.....

You can burn a picture of your least favorite co-worker/ex onto a slice of toast and then berate it as "Your toast dude!!"

You can pass love notes to your co-workers/mistress over a lunch of corn beef on rye...then you can destroy the evidence!! No more incriminating emails or letters!

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Old is new again

The first "Internet Appliance" was a Sunbeam toaster hooked up to the 'net and on display at Interop 1990. Using a web interface (under SNMP), you could (1) specify how light or how dark you wanted the toast and (2) activate the toasting function. We've come a long way ... and yet, not.

http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc2235.html

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It won't work, because as we all know...

...you can't have your toast and read it too.

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Joe
Alert

Re: orange peppers for breakfast?

Not to mention the pot of cream..! Perhaps it's a delicacy somewhere on Earth...

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Joke

Jam jet printer

Red: Raspberry

Green: Kiwi fruit

Blue: Blueberry

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Silver badge

Page 3?

Toast only has a back and a front: ie a front page and a sports page. Where are the tits?

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Happy

CNC toaster

http://www.evilmadscientist.com/article.php/cnctoast includes pictures and video of their device in action.

Could you make a flick-book animation from an entire loaf though?

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Coat

Tabloid journo hacks...

...can now eat their words.

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Silver badge

every journo should have one

how else can they eat their words?

(or just swallow everything they're told)

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Coat

I think your mising the point

The internet is not used for news.....

It's the toaster that lets you have a strumpet on your morning crumpet.

It's the raincoat with sticky sleeves please....

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Happy

Trouble at t'Kingsmill

"Sorry kids, your dad's gone and forgotten to switch printers again and the holiday snaps are all on wholemeal."

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Silver badge

Oh no!

OK, may not be as anoying as actualy saying it, but what happens when your toast comes out each time with something like:

"Do you want any toast?"

"How about a muffin?"

"The question is this: given that God is infinite and that the universe is also infinite...

"would you like a toasted tea-cake?"

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Paris Hilton

Just think of the fun

Spreading jam on parts of Paris (Hilton that is)

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Paris Hilton

Paris covered in hot sticky butter and Marmite

yum!

Paris - because I'd like to see her all buttered up and covered in Marmite.

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Flame

Just an idea...

Does it talk?

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Coat

The solution to sod's law?

On one side of the toast print the words "Butter the other side". Then, on the other side, print the words "Butter the other side".

Now, drop the toast on the floor. Which way up does it land?

Mine's the one with the butter stain down the front.

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Coat

While waiting for my cup of Java to download....

....I received the 'toastvertisement' "Are you having problems with the size of your slice?"

Spam on toast, anyone?

OK, I tried, right???

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Happy

way to go

wow can you imagine this "branded" with cartoon of the day something like Far Side. It would sell like hot cakes. Every Starbucks in the world would buy one. Really hope this makes it onto the high street, what a xmas present, way better than socks. Electrolux, make this before Apple do !

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connects to 'a PC' ?

Did you mistype 'to Windows' again ?

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