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back to article Literacy leads to happiness and luuurv

A study by the National Literacy Trust claims to demonstrate that literate people are less likely to be still living with their parents, glumly smoking heavily as they contemplate their inability to attract a long-term partner, than those who struggle with reading. The Telegraph explains that literate chaps in particular benefit …

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Anonymous Coward

Hmmmm

Where do comic books fit into this?

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Paris Hilton

Heaven knows, I'm miserable now

This doesn't explain Franz Kafka, who was very literate, and yet spent his life alone; or for that matter Morrissey, who despite being very handsome and cultured, and possessed of a full head of hair, has not yet married.

I am surprised to learn that H P Lovecraft actually was married, but only briefly. Nietszche?

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Anonymous Coward

Wrong metric.

The thick as shit single smoker, will have 40 kids by 15 girls from his teenage years and is struggling by the time he hits 34 because he's in prison, scarred from knives and no longer able to fight in the contest for the females that are on heat.

The literate are the ones in the shit.

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Coat

b0llox

Im still living with my parents and its got bugger all to do with my literacy leval, and everything to do with the fact that in my area (greater london) even a small shoe box will set you back upwards of £150k, which is often not affordable by anyone who is single, and most probably not achievable by someone with low literary ability. The fact that i am single and vaugly unhappy has absolutely nothing to do with it.....

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Paris Hilton

Well maybe it's just me

I'm highly literate (always was a precocious little brat, now read over 100 books a year) and I smoke.

And then there's my school friend that's now a published author. At age 30 he still lives at home with mum and dad.

Paris, because I can't imagine she's that literate and she evidently has no problem finding a luuuuurv....

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hmmmm

"A study by the National Literacy Trust claims to demonstrate that literate people are less likely to be still living with their parents, glumly smoking heavily as they contemplate their inability to attract a long-term partner, than those who struggle with reading."

bollocks! as we all know the thickies get a lass pregnant at 15 - are in a council house by 16 and by 20 have another 5 kids due to the 'shagging standing up method of contraception' they believe works!

im my experience its the very literate that often lack any social skills and live with their mums... i bet loads of reg readers (well, bottom level techies) live with their parents.

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I think it's more likely ...

That once married, with a steady income and the ability to cook whenever you want that you get fat.

Whew - after that I feel like a chocolate bar 0can we says Mars (tm) ?

ttfn

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Boffin

To: Department of bleeding obvious

Book: a written or printed work of fiction or nonfiction, usually on sheets of paper fastened or bound together within covers.

Perhaps you would benefit from reading one.

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Stop

CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION

For the millionth time ... the low literacy scores could easily be part of a whole package of things that are all found together.

Or not ...

http://www.numberwatch.co.uk/number%20watch.htm

One of El Reg's own fine contributors.

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Coat

Who knew?

All this time I've been illiterate. All of this lonely, God forsaken time... *sigh*

Mine's the one hanging all by itself.

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Anonymous Coward

The field gets harder...

One interesting feature of this study is that, the longer a literate person waits before moving in with a partner, the higher proportion of available singles are likely to be less literate!

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Thumb Up

Thining yourself obese

So does excessive thinking make you fat because you realise the pointlessness of it all and embark on a life of hedonism?

I'm guessing that it would also give you a strong right (or left, if you're that way inclined) arm.

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Bunk! Bunk I say!

I'm so very literate, and so very alone...

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Flame

Morrissey

It's nothing to do with him being a total pretentious wanker is it?

It isn't?

Oh well then.

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Joke

So all that work I did

Reading comics (and dungeons and dragons) should have netted me a babe by now...

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Anonymous Coward

Pedantry

"I'm highly literate (always was a precocious little brat, now read over 100 books a year) and I smoke.

And then there's my school friend that's now a published author."

Highly literate eh? So would it be pedantic of me to point out that perhaps you should have written:

"And then there's my school friend who is now a published author."

Mine's the one with red pens in the pocket.

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Silver badge

What a crock

If I see one more pleasant looking woman sporting a knuckle-dragging, tattoo emblazoned, shaven headed Neanderthal I think I'll barf.

In my experience, if you are not a drunken lout with a penchant for violence women won't have a bar of you.

I have no idea how these cretins came to the opposite conclusion.

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Anonymous Coward

Reading ability of a 7 year old

Well, a reading ability of a 7 year old or worse will include a lot of mentally disabled people - and I wouldn't be surprised if most of them will live with their parents for the whole of their parent's lifespan.

Mind you, I would have thought that mentally disabled people would generally show themselves content with their lives (smart people are normally the most miserable people).

Mind you, I haven't examined the sampling of this survey - so I'm not sure that they really included a fair proportionate number of mentally disabled adults. People on the street with a clipboard will shy away from interviewing a mentally disabled adult who is accompanied by their parents.

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Coat

Onerous mental tasks

...make you overeat. That's true, but I'm not sure if it's to do with blood sugar levels or not. It's more like, anything for a diversion. Even going for a crap is a welcome respite, although arguably not as enjoyable as tucking into a high calorie snack.

Coat, because I'll be getting mine - I'm only in my office job doing onerous tasks for another week..

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Flame

Niche

I'm sure that these results are somewhat contradicted by the fact that any male who regularly reads fantasy fiction has yet to enjoy the act of procreation with a human female.

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Happy

lost in the equation

SO being a fat, ugly, slob is not in this equation for finding a mate?

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J
Boffin

Hm...

"Im still living with my parents and its got bugger all to do with my literacy leval"

Well, you seem to fit the study's conclusion pretty nicely, I'd have to say from your writing there... And I'm just a bloody non-native speaker, mind you.

@the rest saying "but I... but that author... but..."

You don't understand *anything* about basic statistics, do you?

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@ D@v3

"small shoe box will set you back upwards of £150k,"

At least there will be no stamp duty...

Is anyone really surprised at the findings?

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Silver badge

The Virtual Machinery Business with AIdDriver RoadSide Assistance.... Primed Further Lead Players

"One interesting feature of this study is that, the longer a literate person waits before moving in with a partner, the higher proportion of available singles are likely to be less literate!" ... By Anonymous Coward Posted Thursday 11th September 2008 14:16 GMT

But more than able and willing to learn of what is needed, AC, for the Thrall of Literacy in ITs Leading Fashion with Fashions. QuITe an Immaculate Dream Factory Party Trick/Perfect Gift.

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Anonymous Coward

Oh let's blame illiteracy

and smoking on the housing situation of the UK :)

I kinda respect people who don't have a mortgage and don't rent, owning a property outright of course that is the best position to be in, at that point you can feel smug, but the road that takes normally knocks the chips off you.

If you rent, then the landlord, is Mummy and Daddy. If you have a mortgage then the bank is Mummy and Daddy. Add that perspective in, and I think you will find about 90% of the current generation live with their parents :)

If you can do it without Daddy's and Mummy's money well that is an accomplishment, not many can say that. You don't end up with much, but at least it is yours, though one cannot help feeling it was yours in the first place anyhow.

The housing situation is probably the biggest reason, why so many are pro a recession, and quite a few fear it. If you own your own land outright you are ok.

If you have a mortgage you are shitting yourself but hey you were part of the problem. If you rent you are looking to buy at the bottom. The problem the renters have is they are not able to save enough to buy outright, or even get a downpayment in many instances, so they want it to drop as low as it can go.

Oh and we all know smokers get the hot chicks :)

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Paris Hilton

No title

I might be wrong but;

Illiterate people have sh*te jobs that demand alot of time and yield little money

Literate people have better jobs that demand less time and yield more money.

I think if you are in the latter situation you would have more chance of nurturing a relationship

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Joke

@Jims

No no no. You are being far to practical and reasoned in regards to this fine study. Now go to the corner and take your fifty lashes with the teachers copy of War and Peace, then maybe you'll come to your senses.

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Coat

Weird statistics

"68 per cent of men and 70 per cent of women with good literacy skills are co-habiting or married, compared to 52 per cent of men and 60 per cent of women who find it difficult".

So if I get it right, there's way more women than men who are co-habiting or married? LESBIANS, ALL OF THEM!

Mine's the one with "probabilities for dummies" in the pocket

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Another interesting observation...

Literate people can read, and illiterate people can't read.

http://www.physics.uwo.ca/ugrad/p021/course_information/bread.html

I'm sure bread has something to do with illiteracy, since I bet all illiterates use it in some form or another.

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Blame it on...

the pikeys,

who will blame it on the government,

who will blame it on us.

shall we just blame it all on the trains?

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@ Oh and we all know smokers get the hot chicks :)

yup :)

i also own my house - without any financial help from anybody. my g/f is 10 years younger than me (im 33), bi-sexual and a horny beast...

the only 'prose' i read is code and the backs of dvd cases :)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: You don't end up with much, but at least it is yours

Well, except (unless you've inherited [mum & dad again] or are a banker [or other type of thief]) you'll probably be living in a flat which these days means it's on a 150 year lease. So it's still not yours.

>The housing situation is probably the biggest reason, why so many are

>pro a recession, and quite a few fear it. If you own your own land outright

>you are ok.

No, come a recession and the associated housing collapse, the best place to be is renting, with your cash assets safely tucked away in reliable savings accounts.

When people buy property they make an investment, which has a risk, most people have a mortgage which makes it a geared investment with even higher risk. If you're on a 150 year lease, then there's an built in level of depreciation of the asset. (150 years on it's worthless, so extrapolate).

I still reckon the 34 year old illiterate is actually approaching the twilight of his life having had all the fun, looking to see his great grand kids getting their first arrest etc. No worries about housing for him, oh no, we're paying for that.

He's happy as a pig in shit.

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Dead Vulture

State the obvious!

If you're dumb you're more likely to be at home as you are too dumb to get a job or at least one that would pay rent / mortgage, too dumb to WANT to move out (why pay when mummy is nice and does my washing and is soooo much cheaper ... hmmmm maybe not as dumb as we thought! )

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@ratfox

Oh dear. No.

Here's a made up example - you have a sample of men and women. They all support Man Utd. Some are married, some are not.

The percentages say that 50% of female Man Utd fans are married/civilly partnered (?) compared to 100% of male Man Utd fans. Does that mean that half of the men are gay? No, what if the sample was comprised of 200 women and 100 men. Those 100 men would be married to 100 women, so no gay Man U supporters (let's leave that for another discussion folks).

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Anonymous Coward

@Ross

I think you've lost me, you're saying that unless there are more female than male Man U supporters, then Man U supporters must be gay?

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Coat

Hmm

Mine's the XXL one with the Sony reader in the pocket.

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HMMM

come on - we all know its Chelsea who are the gay ones :)

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Anonymous Coward

@D@v3

"bugger all to do with my literacy leval."

And there you were thinking you were the exception that proved the rule.

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Boffin

@dave

> Im still living with my parents and its got bugger all to do with my literacy leval,

I'm still living with my parents and it's got bugger all to do with my literacy level.

I do hope you did that on purpose

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Silver badge

Sweet Mama Mia ....Sticky PostITs ..... ICQHits/AIR&dDs*

"Oh and we all know smokers get the hot chicks :)" .... By Anonymous Coward Posted Thursday 11th September 2008 20:11 GMT

No Less than they would Both Deserve as Just Reward, AC. PhAIRs Fare in Love and War.

"yup :)

i also own my house - without any financial help from anybody. my g/f is 10 years younger than me (im 33), bi-sexual and a horny beast...

the only 'prose' i read is code and the backs of dvd cases :)" ... By Liam Posted Friday 12th September 2008 07:19 GMT

Future Prognosis for Liam?

*In a Bigger Picture Scenario Parallel ... Inter Continental Quantum AIR&dDs BetaTesting Compliance Control Parameters/NEUKlearer Flashed Future Memory for the Colossus in Atlas ProjectAITales..... Electro Magnetic Pulsed Waves of Fantastic Knowledge with Total Information Awareness for Space Time Travel with SMARTer Automatic AutoNomIQ TelePortation Facility/Credit Transferred and Confirmed and Released 42 Flow Generate Spend.

There are Monumental Losses and Mountains of Cash Waiting for a Legit Big Spender in Charge of the Sharing XXXXPerienced Rules.

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