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back to article China plans spacewalk by end of the month

A Chinese state media agency has reported today that the country will launch a three-man spaceflight this month and all systems are already in final preparation. In October 2003, China became only the third country to put a man in space with its own rocket, after the former Soviet Union and the USA. It sent two more astronauts …

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Alien

Journalist's Impression

Could be better...where's the flag, the footprints, the base on the lander...and where are the moon people?

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Alien

Have a Good Trip and be Aware of the Bed Bugs

Bravo, China. ..... Bon Voyage. Show us what is Missing for Life in Total Darkness and in Space Alone?

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Thumb Up

Sneak ahead?

Seems like they'll have a bit of sneaking to do yet after one spacewalk. Personally, when they reach the moon, they ought to slap a big, oval gold sticker on it that says, "MADE IN CHINA".

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@evilbobthebob

Exactly the journalists point I think...

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Great!

Damm good chance to see if the americans really stepped a foot on the moon!! Hehehe

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Silver badge

shame they didn't do it a couple of months ago.

They could've made it an olympic sport.

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Alert

You're assuming of course........

That we'll all still be here after the LHC experiment on Wednesday.

Still. Looking on the bright side. If that experiment DOES go tit's up, the French will be the first to go.

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@ Journalist's Impression

"Could be better...where's the flag, the footprints, the base on the lander...and where are the moon people?" The whole Apollo 11 thing was fake hence no footprints etc. And the Journalist's impression was from a Tuesday. Moon people neva come out on a Tuesday.

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Linux

@evilbobthebob

Don't forget the lack of space mice eating the moon cheese.

The question is: will they be using linux or pirated copies of windows to control it all? (thus I get to use the tux icon)

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Black Helicopters

Not so great @Bastioned

But the Chinese are in on the conspiracy too!

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amanfrommars

Just me, or did that make to much sense?

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Ed

@Anonymous Coward

Linux....

Windows....

Bah

I bet ya its Mac

<runs and hides>

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Pirate

CORRECTION!: 'China plans SPACEWOK by end of the month’

This was a big 'translation' mistake from the Commie Chinese Press Release -

A new Made in China kitchen appliance that defies gravity when you stir fry those vegetables in space.

It also comes with a manual in Chinglish which instructs you to always whistle while you wok. Be happy!

Question - Since the Commie Chinese space effort completely revolves around a copy of a Rusky rocket and a surplus Soyuz Capsule they bought bolstered by improved computer technology that traitor IBM essentially gave (sold) them when selling their PC division to CCP controlled Lenovo .... where did the Chi-Coms steale the space suit technology??

Does China do anything original, or just rip off everyone else? So much for Osama Hussein Obama's "wonderful" advanced society! (He's a closet Commie anyway - say hi to your anarchist and marxist buds William Ayers, Anarchist and his friends at the Chicago Democratic Socialists of America )

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scam

Probably the whole thing will be fake/CGI like the fireworks, and athletes birth certificates at the olympics?

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Flame

@ Webster

Dam guy. Who would of thought that you were a fascist as well being out of touch. So many surprises. How is the job at Rola? Still CEO? Say hi to your mother.

I know - don't feed the monkeys.

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@Darkwolf

In all truth until I saw your @amanfromMars for your title I actually did not realize it was him seeing it actually made sense. Guess that means its the end of the world and the experiment Wednesday will kill us all...

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Boffin

original?how about ...

....paper?and gunpowder?apples?printing?That original enough for ya?

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Troll no more...

...at which point does an amusing/annoying parody-troll become a contemptible racist fuckwit? I don't think he's quite there yet, but he's getting fucking close.

But it is still funny hearing him refer to a center-right party as "Marxist". :-)

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@Webster Phreaky

Seriously - any need for the anti-Obama comment? Did it have anything to do with the article? Are you forgetting the Register is first and foremost an English website and we don't even call Brown a communist? Or that the article wasn't about politics? Arsehole.

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Coat

LOL@Webster

Michelle Malkin wants your Children, I'm sure.

Gerry Anderson got it all wrong. Moonbase Alpha should have been Red Chinese!

"We have left Earth orbit and are no longer in contact with the party! Immediately call a meeting of all surviving comrades!"

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@Blubster

"That we'll all still be here after the LHC experiment on Wednesday"

All they're doing on Wednesday is running a proton beam round, and round, and round. The first collisions aren't scheduled until October.

Imagine ending the world while the press are present. Goodness, can you think of a sillier thing to do? Just think of the PR damage!

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ian
Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

@16:39 AC "All your moonbase are ours..."

Re: "But the Chinese are in on the conspiracy too!"

That's all right then. But will they return with "proof" of the Apollo landings (to prove the Chinese claim) that will turn out to be not of this earth? Now that would be interesting!

Paris, because she is heavenly.

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Paris Hilton

Circumcised Moonlanding

I find it amazing that orginal tapes of appllo are missing. So let's see what will Chinese see on moon where no one may have ever landed before!

Paris because she doens't need NASA.

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Alien

Wait...

Is "Webster Phreaky" just a new flavour of the "amanfromMars" bot?

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Alien

A all but amanfromMars

Wow 20+ comments and amanfromMars is the most lucent and relavent. This is just sad.

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Silver badge

For Webster Phreaky

Read Creationist Christian Fundamentalist, the linguistic style is certainly there.

I will be interested to see the Chinese photos of the Flying Fortress that was reported to be on the moon some years ago by a couple of the more wildly inventive tabloids. If it is really there I will have a lot of bad words about tabloidist journalists to take back.

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Coat

I for one welcome our new Chinese overlords!

I'll get me...

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Anonymous Coward

LHC & Moon

Prof Brian Cox of Manchester University said: "Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a t---."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/09/05/scilhc105.xml

I'd like add... anyone who thinks we didn't go to the moon is also a twat.

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sam

teknologies

The irony of Websters post is that, given that china actually spends money on its PHD students (especially if they want to go to a foreign university), most truly new research these days is done by the Chinese . Have a look at the names on the papers in IEEE explore.

Modern technology is all stolen from someone else anyway. If I am using a computer to design antibiotics, I probably didn't invent computers, much less germs.

This said, you have to suspect the American DOD is keeping sekret regarding space stuff. If the Chinese rediscover it, you have to suspect we are more likely to get our hover cars.

Its a shame modern growth, everywhere, kind of relies on the west borrowing back money that it payed someone in the first place, multiplied by fractional reserve banking, then paying it back to the people they just borrowed it off.

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Anonymous Coward

I don't know who to be in awe of anymore :(

Ever since the europeans killed the space-sexy with Ariane - the reliable, utilitarian, 2CV of rocketry - space flight has never been the same.

Sure Moonraker gave us a brief hope for a future of shuttle-mounted warriors dueling in space for freedom, love, and casual sex, but ever since then it has been sputnik-redux with even the chilling thrill of knowing that the NSA can read a newspaper over your shoulder being dulled, somewhat, by being able to do it yourself thanks to the all seeing google-ogle.

And being able to lob precision munitions half way around the world loses its cool factor when you watch it happening to someone driving a Toyota Landcruiser remarkably like your own. It seemed so different when that SUV full of third-world militants was actually an advancing line of communist main battle tanks about to crush Europe under the iron heel of an ultimately flawed but well meaning ideology.

Anyhow, now its about doing the "easy" things over and over and over. Sure it may be a well deserved retirement for the old dawgs of space flight - spending your day working out how to squeeze another 256 streams of pay-per-view sports down that narrow beam of microwaves - but awe inspiring it is not.

Roll on China, with your ideologically unsound hoard of wealth and your disregard for the rights of the individual! We may cheer you, or jeer you, or fear you, but you will make us get all worked up about space flight again.

And when you make your little workers paradise beachhead on the Moon, trust in the fact that somewhere in the USofA someone will be feverishly trying to get a McDonalds up there while, in Europe, tweed jacketed boffins with pipes will be trying to make the whole journey as mundane and unsexy as a bloody day trip to Bangor. 'Ware the "Tiddly-bum Ta-ra-ra"! Make for Mars, post haste!

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Anonymous Coward

@Darkwolf

Of course amanfrommars comment made sense! If there is one area bound to be in amanfrommars expertise, issues relating to outer space where he comes from is one.

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LNR
Joke

Can you hear me Major Tom?

Ground control to Major Tom:

Your circuit's dead, there's something wong.

Can you hear me Major Tom?

Can you hear me Major Tom?

Can you hear me Major Tom?

Can you ...

Here am I floating round my tin can, far above the moon

Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do...

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Alert

If the 'merkins...

don't get their collective fingers out, then by the time they do get back to the moon, they'll need landing permission from the Chinese, and the "big oval gold sticker on it" won't say "MADE IN CHINA", it'll say "Property Of The Peoples Republic of China"

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Unhappy

Bored

of this political d*ck waving isn't it about time we pooled resources and actually moved the space program on rather than rehashing the same old ... oooh look we've put someone in space (been done) oooh we'll put someone on the moon (already been done) sigh.

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Boffin

Mythbusters ...

... did a show on whether the moon landings were fake or not.

Couple things of interest:

It was nearly impossible to emulate the walking that the images show, without being in moon gravity. Now, NASA may have had a nice moon set on a plane, but that would have been a cool trick - in the 1960s.

I guess that there was left behind a lens (I forget the name of it) that, if you shot a laser at it, it'll return the shot directly to the source. So they went to a lab that "pinged" the moon. Now, granted, the lab could be in on "the secret" so I don't know if that disproves anything - it was equipment sketching a spectrum, not a visible beam of light, that you see.

They also proved that the sand on the moon would allow a footprint, even in the absence of water (the dirt on the moon hasn't been worn by erosion, so its sharp and holds shape better when stepped in by a rude American tourist).

Good show.

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Alien

Made in china?

The way NASA's going at the moment, the shuttle's replacement is likely to have a "Made in China" sticker.

@Webster: nice diatribe, you complete cock!

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Made in China

Whats wrong with that, it already is for a start and I find it a sad indictment on humanity that we are happy to pay low prices for products that are produced overseas but when said overseas types start thinking above their station and aiming for the admittedly pointless target of the Moon everyone shits themselves. Good for them, go and have a look, its a dusty rock with no redeeming features. Far better to explore the deep sea here on Earth but go ahead chaps, I'm sure it will be a blast.

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