A Malaysian welder who tried to lengthen his penis by fitting a nut to it had to have skin removed and blood drained before doctors could remove the offending add-on. Local news organ The Star reports that the unfortunate 20-year-old tradesman was hoping to impress ahead of his engagement this week. The welder, who works in …
"Doctors ... yesterday said the patient would be discharged."
Aaaah, so the patient didn't discharge on the docs. Thank heaven for small mercies.
It sounds like he'll be lucky not to have *lost* length...
And I'm casting my vote for Euphemism of the Century to "bout of tumescence".
"bout of tumescence", quite brilliant!! :-)
the patient would be discharged
No, sorry I will resist...........
You asked for pics.......
What a wanker...
All he had to do was buy some of those pills you can get on the Internet.
That'll teach him to use a nut.
We all know that there's no substitute for a good screw.
Something for the weekend, sir?
If his intended had been a reasonable gal such as myself, she'd have bought him a strap-on.
Wouldn't you prefer to look at some pictures of kittens instead? I most certainly would.
Still each to his own, there's no accounting for taste, or lack thereof.
or it didn't happen
...where did he put the nut?
Darwin Award special mention?
This is perhaps the silliest thing i've heard all week. But saying that, "Peer Pressure + Credit Crunch = Cash-saving DIY Alternatives". Not that DIY Alternatives work properly, as shown in this case...
Nobody? ok then...
...so he got his nut off?
Mine's the one with the Swedish made Penis Enlarger pump in the pocket.
If I was the fiancee, I'd take this as an omen, and leave him in the workshop. He's obviously happier screwing himself...
What a nut job!
I rather prefer nut case
mine's the one with the spanner in the pocket
No way a story like this broke without somebody knowing what the guy's name is. And if I'd done it, I know my name would be in the article.
They have not said what size of nut was used, nor what thread. Presumably he was using some size of metric coarse thread, but we need to know!
The one with the 2" Whitworth spanner please...
Cure for a Bout of Tumescence
This is where it's helpful to have a mental picture of Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day. No need to call for help at that point.
Mines the one with the Fembots on the back.
Just what I needed to wake me up in the morning :P
I cringed when I read article
/mines the one with the nuts in it
Streuth Jim, Your post has given me a headache.
@ Paul Crawford
Although not specific about the nut it was obviously self-locking.
Sounds like a job for...
Who cares what type of nut
Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey. Even a welder would know this. Anyone check his union card?
But if that actually is true then the laws of natural selection have come through for humanity just it time! Heaven knows that the gene pool is seriously polluted enough as it is, but could you imagine MORE little morons like this, running around participating in the creation of more little morons?
Mine's the one that has "Stupid people should NOT breed" on the back
When he gets married....
I guess the next step will be to tighten the union fitting.
@Cure for a Bout of Tumescence
You complete and utter bastard.
At least he didn't try welding
At least, he didn't try to weld on an extension...
Reminds me of the old poem
There once was a man named Joseph Locke
Born into this world with a cork-screw cock.
All his life he vowed to hunt
For a girl with a cork-screw c*nt.
But when he found her he dropped down dead,
For the girl he found had a left-hand thread.
Can't believe nobody's used the IT angle icon yet!
Does this mean...
...he's a nutter?
warning to the fiancee ...
I hope she heeds it.
Go! Go now! As fast and far as you can!
And it says on the package
May contain nuts
I'll get me coat
@Cure for a Bout of Tumescence
>This is where it's helpful to have a mental picture of Margaret Thatcher
That is enough. That would cure a near fatal viagra overdose.
Please stop, I quite like sex and I'd like to be able to do it again sometime soon
>on a cold day.
Mine's the one with the Accidental Darwin Award in the pocket (no way I'm breeding after reading that posting!)
No everything is not all right
It might not be all right for a long time.
Nuff said on that I think.
I can see you are going to become the new resident t*@tatron...
I thought we'd already let get to that point.....
as for the story... nah, the jokes are too obvious there, so i'll just get my coat now....
Nuts or balls
Could be worse there are some who insert ball bearings under the skin for that ribbed for extra pleasure feeling.
...did he use gas or arc to "join his union membership"
Nut sir prised.....@Nuts or balls
Would'nt,be from experience, would it?
Jaws of Life?
I heard they used the tweezers of life instead.
Mental pictures not required - Thatcher's very existence would make one question the wisdom of bringing children into the World.
Must have gotten it cross-threaded
What wimps !!
In my day, the "cure to that Bout of Tumescence" is a sharp whack with a long hard stick. The shock will bring tears to his eyes and an immediate cessation of tumescence !! Works with dogs and other animals too !!
Don't Give The Kids Ideas
... now everyone's going to want one.
Paris, because she wouldn't know any better either.
At least he didn't
mix up the Loctite with the WD-40.
Give this writer a raise!
>Give this writer a raise!
"bout of tumescence" surely...
The guy is clearly a "Tube"
- Analysis Oh no, Joe: WinPhone users already griping over 8.1 mega-update
- Leaked pics show EMBIGGENED iPhone 6 screen
- Opportunity selfie: Martian winds have given the spunky ol' rover a spring cleaning
- OK, we get the message, Microsoft: Windows Defender splats 1000s of WinXP, Server 2k3 PCs
- Episode 4 BOFH: Oh DO tell us what you think. *CLICK*