back to article Winehouse jibe wins Fringe's funniest gag

A tasteless jibe at the expense of galactically-talented bouffant platform Amy Winehouse has secured the Edinburgh Fringe festival's funniest gag crown for comedienne Zoe Lyons. Zoe Lyons with her Dave funniest gag trophy Lyons (pictured) entertained the crowds during her Mangled Mantra of the Messed-up Modern Mind show with …

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  1. pctechxp

    Good show

    sounds a good joke.

    I also definitely advise everyome to check out Kevin Bishop's send up of her singing the James Bond theme.

  2. Paul Stephenson
    Happy

    he he

    "I know self-harming is not funny but it's just a joke, so I'm not going to beat myself up about it."

    lol.

  3. Chris Matchett
    IT Angle

    Friday isn't it

    ITT

  4. ShaggyDoggy

    My version

    I can't believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. What would be the point.

    ... now your version please

  5. Iain
    Joke

    Quantum porn

    Quantum porn jokes are funnier.

    Frankie Boyle would have wiped the floor with them

  6. Mike Crawshaw
    Linux

    Sshhhhhhhhhhhh.....

    Don't tell The Moderatrix about this article. She'll crucify anyone who approves of this joke!

    <--me is disguised as a penguin to avoid retribution!

  7. Phil Standen
    Paris Hilton

    @ My Version

    I can't believe "Amy Winehouse self-harms" is news, pumping yourself full of Heroin is considered beneficial?

    Your go.

  8. Marvin the Martian
    Thumb Down

    Festival of unfun

    Wow, what a funny joke.

    Amy Whineweasel jokes were totally like fresh around 2006 like, dude. At the point where she started falling apart and cancelling shows and being an obvious wreck, it was a bit... passe? I know time slows down up north but this is a bit much.

    Judging from the top-ten it still beat out the others in freshness [OK, one references Obama but it's a pre-2000 Bush joke, when Bush converted] but still. If you want to throw up, google for photos of the Rivers creature --- "when plastic surgeons go bad" or something.

    [Hippopotamuses thing is not even close to true --- not even in africa, where you have a world war going on killing a few millions the last five years.]

  9. dervheid

    "galactically-talented"

    You CANNOT be talking about Whinehouse, really.

    Unless I missed the <sarcasm>.

    As for the self harm, I suppose that carrying that rats nest about on top of her head must qualify.

    She may have been talented to start out with, but any scrap of that seems to have been buried under the over indulgence in her own publicity.

  10. Dave B
    Coat

    Old gags

    You'd think the award would be for best original gag - Both the top two are old (admittedly with a different subject in the no.1 spot). Third place was good though.

    Hippo. Pocket. Too easy.

  11. David Cornes
    Happy

    Laugh-in

    Personally I thought the runner-up was funnier, it's snappier with a nicer rhythm to it. All three are pretty good though!

    Myself I've always thought the name Winehouse was too close to a joke to be real (Winos, WHinehouse... take your pick).

  12. Chris
    Flame

    That tastes bad

    What's pink with cobwebs on it?

    Madeleine McCann's bicycle.

    (I'm going to burn in hell for that one).

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Waste of space

    "A tasteless jibe at the expense of galactically-talented bouffant platform Amy Winehouse"

    I'm sick of hearing how talented Amy Wingehouse is, and how sad and tragic it all is. She's a waste of space!! Talented, maybe, but the press and music business ought to spend their time on more worthwhile people than the drugged-up waste-of-time mess that AW is.

  14. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    sigh

    I hate you all.

    Anyway, objectively that is not a funny joke, nor a fresh one, regardless of who it's about. Nor is the second one. That's a real nasty barrel-scraping bit of misogynist piffle.

    The hippo one isn't bad. At least it has the form of an actual joke. It's all in the delivery, anyway, innit.

  15. This post has been deleted by its author

  16. Matt
    Thumb Up

    Ditto to David

    I agree with David - I too think the second joke is funnier - although the throwaway comment from the winner ".. I know self-harming is not funny but it's just a joke, so I'm not going to beat myself up about it." is genius.

  17. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Waste of space

    Well, I bet you if Billie Holiday was around now, she'd get just the same sort of treatment from the press and it would make just as much difference to her talent, as opposed to the difference to the public's perception of that talent, i.e. notajot.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hippopotami

    That is all

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    jokes

    i find sickipedia to be a decent joke site :)

  20. Neil Hoskins
    Go

    Spotted on Youtube:

    'My girlfriend said, "If you don't want to talk to me just say so; it's paradoxes that really hurt."'

    My head's still spinning three days later. I think the lad's name was Jack Heal. We'll be seeing more of him.

  21. david

    Oxford Dictionary

    [quote]

    Other words ending in -us show a very varied pattern. Like octopi, the plural hippopotami is now generally taken to be either funny or absurdly pedantic, and the usual plural is hippopotamuses.

    [endquote]

  22. dervheid

    Sarah, you must've known...

    that ANY reference to the 'talent' that Mrs Fielder-Civil once possessed would result in a barrage of flaming cow-pats.

    Unfortunately, the only 'talent' she currently exhibits is that of being a drink/drug/publicity ravaged shadow of her former self. Her apparent inability to perform (ie the recent Bond Theme fiasco) serves only to fuel the flames.

    As for the 'famous friend' angle, I went to school with Robin Guthrie (and Bill Heggie) of the Cocteau Twins (bit before your time, I suspect). Still see Bill around occasionally, but Guthrie was, and (living in the states) still is I suspect, a self indulgent wanker. I do hope he's managed to replace the old army greatcoat he used to wear to school, and to college, as it stank of cat's piss.

  23. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Sarah, you must've known...

    Um, thanks dervheid, but what in the hot buttered hell does Robin Guthrie have to do with anything?

    Never mind. I still like the Cocteau Twins, regardless of whether or not they are tools.

  24. dervheid

    On a more topical note...

    A certain Mr Gadd, ex 70's pop star, has been required to sign 'the Register' upon his triumphant return to Blighty.

    Cue a joke-fest, surely.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Dave B and Sarah B(ee)

    I'm possibly older than the two of you put together as I recognise the hippo joke as old also.

  26. Chris

    @dervheid and @Sarah Bee

    dervheid: If you went to school with the original bassist from the Cocteau Twins, then you'd know his name was Will, not Bill.

    Sarah: If you like the Cocteaus, then check out a band called Lowlife if you haven't already. Will Heggie's band after he split from the Cocteaus.

  27. Matt

    andrew laurence

    saw Andrew Laurence at Latitude this year - he was effing *hilarious*. if you like your humour dark and very, very wrong - do go see him!

  28. John H Woods Silver badge

    Hippopotami

    Hippopotamus has Greek (not Latin) etymology. A perennial point on discussion fora, I know.

  29. Fab De Marco

    @David Re: Oxford Dictionary

    Stop it You are being ridiculi

  30. dervheid
    Happy

    Chris

    Will.

    Short for William?

    Like Bill, and (as we called him when we were kids) Billy?

    Believe it or not, I never actually new that 'Will' was his 'professional' name, as it were. He's always just been Billy or Bill to me. Even when we served our apprenticeships together at what used to be the ICI. Did see him gig with a band prior to the Cocteaus, "All this and More". (what were they thinking!)

    Ah, the hazy late 70's/early 80's.

  31. Aaron

    hippos &c.

    Should it be 'hippopotamoi', then, Mr Woods? I confess my Greek noun cases aren't what they could be.

    As for the rest, who the hell is Amy Winehouse?

  32. Jesse
    Joke

    RE: Sarah, you must've known...

    Well, I'm thirty and the Cocteau Twins are unknown to me.

    But everyone knows about the camel-toe twins. They are all over the net!

  33. David Barr
    Thumb Down

    The bad news is...

    When she finally tops herself, she'll end up more popular than she is now. Best thing I can hope for is she gives up the charlie and gives up the singing.

  34. mick gregory

    Sarah Bee

    Sad to see the comparison with Billie Holiday and Amie Winehouse..

    Maybe you should ditch the MP3s and listen to the Vinyl (preferably on a decent Turntable).

    The difference is clear - Billie Holiday had talent.

    Amie Winehouse appears to have very little.

    Regards,

    Mick Gregory.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Amy bleeding Winehouse

    Winehouse is a road traffic accident. She's appalling and you know you shouldn't give her attention, but somehow it's not possible to avoid rubbernecking the carnage.

  36. GF

    Huh?

    I simply did not get Zoe Lyons' joke about Amy Whinehouse, since I have no idea who is Amy. Must be an inside British joke that I American is too narrow-minded to understand.

    Based on all of the blog entries, Amy must be a waste of carbon...

  37. adnim

    Talented?

    I'm not so sure, her voice is hardly pleasant although she can hold a tune. She can also convey emotion, fair enough, but hardly worth the tag of talented. I have flushed more talented turds.

    imho, and the opinion of others I write better songs and write better music than Winehouse, and I'm in IT. My sound engineering skills are far from awesome though.

    Some people just don't have a clue, accepting I maybe one of them and I is just deluded. Yeah right I like I really believe that.

  38. kain preacher

    Did I read that right

    Did some one compare Amy with Billie Holiday ??? you got to be kidding me

    But in the end the press did tear her apart look up how her career ended

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    winetavern?

    amy who?

    actually, i know vaguely who amy winehouse is, having seen photos of her in tabloid-esque locations but i'm proud to say, i have no idea what any of her tunes are called... or what any of them sound like.

    god - it's great growing old and out of touch! when i were a lad it were all sidney viscous on smack and elvis paisley dying on the bog around here!

  40. mick gregory

    Adnim

    I accept that "talented" was probably the wrong name to describe Billie Holiday, perhaps the nickname Lester Young gave her of "Lady Day" will suffice.

    It's nice to see that someone with your self confessed limited sound engineering talent can still recognize her name, fifty years after her death.

    Begs the question - how many people in IT will remember your name 50 years' on?

    Hot Tip - Spend more time analyzing her music rather than analyzing your talented turds.

    Regards,

    Mick Gregory.

  41. Dave The Cardboard Box
    Unhappy

    Yeah The Fringe or, how to book a comedian and ignore culture.

    Glad I left Edinburgh. It was bad enough when when Mark Lamarr used to trawl the bars with his amazing pick up line "Hello, I'm Mark Lamarr".

  42. David Gillies
    Coat

    It's all Greek to me

    Hippopotamus means 'horse of the river', so the plural should probably be something like hippoipotamos, 'horses of the river'.

    And the plural of octopus is octopodes; rhinoceros, rhinocerotes.

    I am reaching for my anorak.

  43. adnim

    @Mick

    I made no mention of Billie Holiday so I am at a loss as to the point you are trying to make. Perhaps you confused my post with the one immediately below?

    As for me being remembered, That is not my purpose in being here, at least I don't think it is. Whatever the case, I haven't finished yet ;-)

    As for analysing her music, I'm afraid it contradicts with at least one purpose I am here for... enjoying life. And despite sucking (currently) as a sound engineer I am sure I could out mix the Winehouse non-entity, even on the rare occasion she has clarity of mind.

    Like I said she has no talent, at least none that should be lauded.

    Although the truth sometimes does offend, please don't take it personally.

    regards

    Adnim ;-)

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    the talent of Amy Winerack

    ... is also lost on me. To my knowledge, her greatest renditions are merely remakes of other people's songs, she doesn't play an instrument, she doesn't appear to write music or lyrics, she don't even dance... making her a glorified pub/karaoke singer... nice voice, crap attitude, but what do you expect when the only reason you are not doing a 5-stretch for possession is because your heroin addiction came to light AFTER you became famous. The truth may offend, it also hurts... but I remember you Adnim, and we'll always have Paris.

  45. Philip Nicholls Silver badge

    Yanks

    Surely those Yanks who read MAD magazine have heard of AW. She is the butt of some jokes in the September 2008 issue.

  46. Darryl
    Happy

    The best joke from Joan Rivers

    TMZ.com (?) interviewed her after OJ Simpson was arrested for breaking into that hotel room and threatening the occupants over some of his memorabilia. Her comment was, "I don't know what all the fuss is about. It's not like he killed somebody."

  47. b166er

    TC

    Two cannibals eating a clown. One say to the other, "does this taste funny to you?"

  48. Pete Jones

    re: It's all Greek to me

    "Hippopotamus means 'horse of the river', so the plural should probably be something like hippoipotamos, 'horses of the river'."

    Hippopotamus is a second declension Latin noun, so the plural in that language is hippopotami. The fact that it came into Latin from the Greek doesn't change the Latin grammar!

  49. mick gregory

    Adnim

    Please don't judge me by your own standards - the truth never offends.

    It's just people that are economical with it, that I find offensive.

    Please don't take this personally.

    Bye Adnim.

    Regards,

    Mick Gregory.

  50. NT
    Unhappy

    Not really a joke at all

    I agree with Sarah. The Amy joke just isn't. There's a clear difference between humour (and isn't the Fringe supposedly the place for *clever* humour, and Dave the 'home of witty banter'?) and simple malice. If Zoe Lyons is the best comedy the Fringe has to offer, and if that's a representative sample of her material, then things aren't looking good for the laugh-making industry.

    As far as the rest are concerned, again, #2 was nothing more than catty sniping. The hippo one, yes, I liked that. Tim Vine's Velcro comment was worth a chuckle; Joan Rivers is just hugely irritating (subjective, I know); and Jeff Kreisler: c'mon - George Bush is an even easier target than Amy. Talk about a no-brainer.

    Incidentally, I don't particularly rate Winehouse as a singer, either, so this isn't from loyalty to a favourite artist. Actually she strikes me as a total wreck - but in any case that's a sad thing, not comedy material.

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