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That 'Elderly Persons' sign: Can you do better?

Andy

I always thought that sign meant "conga line" 

Coat

Guess it explains the stick.

The Voice of Reason

Nice 

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Nice idea. I just hope that it doesn't soon become compulsory for all "wrinklies" to have to wear the new T shirt!

Anonymous Coward

Goosing 

Paris Hilton

Always thought the Lady OAP was getting rather intimate with the old Feller!

Paris cos she'd goose you good!

Efros

Nicholas EGF Berry

Kyphotic? 

Dead Vulture

Huh? The closest the OED has is 'kythe - Illustration of Forms', but that can't be it.

Rob

pickpocketing? 

Coat

Surely fisting?

It's the one with the granny porn in the pockets. All the pockets.

Lauri Pajunen

rename it, no problem 

Coat

Since it was a matter of time before one sent this: Just name it Elder Sign and add a few tentacles, problem solved.

Mines the one with tentacles.

Steve Jones

Re: Kyphotic 

Ah, but Wiki has this to say:

"Kyphosis (Greek - kyphos, a hump), in general terms, is a common condition of a curvature of the upper spine. It can be either the result of bad posture (slouching) or a structural, muscular abnormalty in the spine.

In the sense of a deformity, it is the pathological curving of the spine, where parts of the spinal column lose some or all of their lordotic profile. This causes a bowing of the back, seen as a slouching posture. Symptoms of kyphosis, that may be present or not, depending on the type and extent of the deformity, include mild back pain, fatigue, appearance of round back and breathing difficulties. Severe cases can cause great discomfort and even lead to death."

So there you have it, OED nil, WiKi one

James

@Nicholas 

Paris Hilton

A quick Google shows Kyphotic means "a common condition of a curvature of the upper spine". Hell, that's even from Wikipedia. Not hard to track down.

Paris because, well, humps...

Martyn Waddington

No artistic skills 

Stop

If someone wants to nick this idea then please do....

Red Triangle with a 'person' sat on a motorised wheelchair inside it.

Andrew Robinson

Artistic Skills - but no time 

Paris Hilton

I started Illustrating an old guy asleep on a chair with The Guardian on the armrest and some bourbons on t'other. Then I realised it's nigh on 14.30 and there are more important things to do, damn you work!

Failing that, a doctor's waiting room, stamping a Bingo card, or trying to pass motions on a Commode are all viable themes - get to work, unemployed artists!

Paris 'cause, well, she's an unemployed "artiste" isn't she. Bless.

Matt

missing the point 

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Surely if the old folks in question *aren't* hunchbacked old cripples then they should be able to cross the road without difficulty - thereby negating the need to warn drivers to be careful of them?

What next, a petition by does to have a gender-neutral 'deer crossing' sign?

It's political correctness gone mentally-challenged!

Mike Crawshaw

Perfect Timing.... 

Black Helicopters

Our servers are down today, so nothing useful can be accomplished. Cue starting Paint for very bad "artwork".

(though possibly the servers are down BECAUSE of this? Our local BOFHs might be sitting down with felt tips as I type!)

The helicopters don't need no steenking road signs...!

Anonymous Coward

SAS-style ? 

Black Helicopters

What with a growing number of knife-related crimes being reported, the sign shows one senior "slotting" another, which is nice.

Hells Grannies in Black Helicopters !?!?! Whatever next !

Matt

I've got it! 

http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/questions/images/clothes/sixty.jpg

Anonymous Coward

Alternative, equally offensive stereotype 

Coat

Depiction of an elderly resident pissing themselves in a nursing home perhaps?

Ross

I give up 

hmmm, trying to depict stale wee and lavender in a simple black and white sign is proving to be more challenging than I first thought.

Grant

Scots 

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Reminds me of a sign I saw in Scotland, near Urqhuart Castle - a horse pulling a trailer with a stick figure in a wheelchair drawn above the trailer. Lucky there wasn't any other traffic at the time.

Mark Summers

@ Messrs Berry and Jones 

Paris Hilton

OED lists the stem kypho-, from the Greek for crooked, as a variant of cypho-. Cyphosis has a main entry all to itself, just after cyphonism, "punishment by the {kappa}{guacu}{phi}{omega}{nu}, a sort of pillory in which slaves or criminals were fastened by the neck... ...by which the neck of the malefactor is bent or weighed downward".

As Wiki doesn't have the variant spelling, it may be fairer to say OED two, Wiki one.

Paris, because her neck has been bent downward (or so I've heard)

Anonymous Coward

hmmm 

I've always wondered, why is the one at the back sticking its fist up the ones infront arse?

Alexis Vallance

Old People 

Here in Eccles there's an old sign from the 70's outside which says 'DANGER: OLD PEOPLE CROSSING"

About two weeks ago, someone scrubbed out the word 'crossing'.

Anonymous Coward

Old People 

Coat

You can't beat 'em!

Pity...

Anonymous Coward

As Borat Sagdiyev would say... 

Black Helicopters

Her vazhïn hang like sleeve of wizard

http://www.oldpeoplearefunny.com/images/old_lady_crashed.jpg

Jason Harvey

sign meaning? 

Coat

you mean it's not some warning sign for the yearly physical?

mines the one with the rear guard

chaosvoyager

Kyphotic, or Cryptic? 

Coat

What's next, Handicap people complaining about being represented as wheelchair bound?

The other Matt has it right, the current representation is much more accurate for the ACTUAL old people you have to watch out for, and has wider shared cultural significance.

But this old people sign is the least of my symbolic worries (because I'm not old). What I'm far more concerned about is having a good glyph to <del>warn me of</del> represent nude beaches. For some reason they have symbols for everything else you can and cannot do at the beaches here, but not the nude bit. And unlike those mythical Brazilian nude beaches, all we have over here are places where the last guys (and ONLY guys) who should be seen naked are.

Mines the one with the Peril Sensitive Sunglasses and "AARP guide to North American Geriatrics" in the pocket.

Haku

Re: I always thought that sign meant "conga line" 

Coat

http://www.haku.co.uk/b3ta/PoliceConga.jpg

Thad

Design team? 

"It doesn't have to be world-class artwork, since our in-house department will work its magic on the winning entry."

You mean ...will set up the scene in Lego people

:)

Captain DaFt

Oi! Yer in fer it now! 

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Or... Never ask the ham handed for artwork...

(See my submission, with the emphasis on "sub"!)

Lorenz Kahl

NZ Sign 

Happy

In Nelson, where I live, there is a seafront suburb called Monaco. On a bend is a sign warning of "Rug-rats and old biddies all over the place". great sense of humour, the Kiwis.

PS you should experience a few of their TV adverts as well....

Martin Usher

If they're fast enough to get out the way then you don't need the sign... 

Alert

Says it all. The sign doesn't ask you to be careful because of "elderly people", its asking you to be careful of "older people with impaired mobility, reduced hearing and problems with depth perception".

At least they're walking. Put them in the driver's seat and its fun, fun, fun.....

adnim

@AC:Alternative, equally offensive stereotype 

"Depiction of an elderly resident pissing themselves in a nursing home perhaps?"

Don't forget to include an image of the care home worker leaving said elderly resident sat in their own piss because it's five minutes away from clocking off time.

Anonymous Coward

Kyphosis 

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My OED shows it, first quoted example 1882, most recent from 1900 BMJ. Of course, if cheapskates don't have the full version OED, they'd never be able to check.

Amanda

Maybe it's an American stereotype but... 

Coat

Simply depict a figure shaking a cane, as if insisting that those damned kids stay off his lawn.

TeeCee

Simple solution. 

1) Remove the offensive signs.

2) Declare Open Season.

That'll teach the old farts to complain.

mittfh

The Drumnadrochit sign... 

http://www.missiondifficult.org.uk/disabled%20drivers.jpg

Tim

I really don't believe.. 

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... signs are necessary! Beware old people? Goes without saying, doesn't it?

James

Re: The Drumnadrochit sign... 

Boffin

I was kinda hoping it was going to be a blue, "horse-drawn wheelchair trailers only" sign.

Anonymous Coward

I'm not worried 

If I hit a Golden Oldie in my car I suspect I'll be OK and the Oldie will be squished.

My biggest worry might be scratched paintwork from flying false teeth, or perhaps scraping a woolly cardie out of my wheel arch.

This is like warning killer whales that there are slow moving injured seals around.

Just a thought... it might be more effective to warn crinklies that cars have been invented and need not have a man walking in front with a red flag anymore.

W

Kyphotic 

Boffin

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dict.asp?Word=Kyphotic

OED? PAH! WWW.TFD.COM FTW - C-YA

W

Anonymous Coward

140 points 

Pirate

"death race 2000" reference - best advert I can think of for "crinkly people ahead".

Havin_it

@ W 

Alien

W, are you by any chance related to amanfromMars?

Re Drumnadrochit: there's a riding school there that caters to the less-good-at-moving-about-and-that among others. It is near the road but I've never seen them (a) on the road or (b) perched atop a buggy in their wheelchairs.

A "nutters coming the other direction all over the (swervetastic and barely double-track) bloody road" sign wouldn't go amiss on that stretch, too.

Brian

Was going to post a real funny suggestion.... 

Stop

but apparently the other cold-hearted bastards in here beat me to it.

BTW Amanda...."as if insisting those damned kids stay off his lawn". Priceless.

Perhaps a warning triangular sign with a lovely sunset on it...possibly a sign with a solid pale, soothing institutional green color....or perhaps a garish floral pattern.

Bah!

Get off my lawn you little bastards!

Dr Patrick J R Harkin

Surely what we need is... 

...a sign which tells us that it isn't anything like as good as the old signs they had before the war.