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back to article That 'Elderly Persons' sign: Can you do better?

The revelation yesterday that some old timers didn't much like being portrayed as hunchback cripples on the UK's "Please don't run over elderly persons" road sign prompted the rather intelligent suggestion from some commenters that we at El Reg should offer a suitably non-patronising alternative. UK elderly persons road sign Or …

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Coat

I always thought that sign meant "conga line"

Guess it explains the stick.

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Nice

Nice idea. I just hope that it doesn't soon become compulsory for all "wrinklies" to have to wear the new T shirt!

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Paris Hilton

Goosing

Always thought the Lady OAP was getting rather intimate with the old Feller!

Paris cos she'd goose you good!

Efros

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Dead Vulture

Kyphotic?

Huh? The closest the OED has is 'kythe - Illustration of Forms', but that can't be it.

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Rob
Coat

pickpocketing?

Surely fisting?

It's the one with the granny porn in the pockets. All the pockets.

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Coat

rename it, no problem

Since it was a matter of time before one sent this: Just name it Elder Sign and add a few tentacles, problem solved.

Mines the one with tentacles.

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Re: Kyphotic

Ah, but Wiki has this to say:

"Kyphosis (Greek - kyphos, a hump), in general terms, is a common condition of a curvature of the upper spine. It can be either the result of bad posture (slouching) or a structural, muscular abnormalty in the spine.

In the sense of a deformity, it is the pathological curving of the spine, where parts of the spinal column lose some or all of their lordotic profile. This causes a bowing of the back, seen as a slouching posture. Symptoms of kyphosis, that may be present or not, depending on the type and extent of the deformity, include mild back pain, fatigue, appearance of round back and breathing difficulties. Severe cases can cause great discomfort and even lead to death."

So there you have it, OED nil, WiKi one

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Paris Hilton

@Nicholas

A quick Google shows Kyphotic means "a common condition of a curvature of the upper spine". Hell, that's even from Wikipedia. Not hard to track down.

Paris because, well, humps...

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Stop

No artistic skills

If someone wants to nick this idea then please do....

Red Triangle with a 'person' sat on a motorised wheelchair inside it.

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Paris Hilton

Artistic Skills - but no time

I started Illustrating an old guy asleep on a chair with The Guardian on the armrest and some bourbons on t'other. Then I realised it's nigh on 14.30 and there are more important things to do, damn you work!

Failing that, a doctor's waiting room, stamping a Bingo card, or trying to pass motions on a Commode are all viable themes - get to work, unemployed artists!

Paris 'cause, well, she's an unemployed "artiste" isn't she. Bless.

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missing the point

Surely if the old folks in question *aren't* hunchbacked old cripples then they should be able to cross the road without difficulty - thereby negating the need to warn drivers to be careful of them?

What next, a petition by does to have a gender-neutral 'deer crossing' sign?

It's political correctness gone mentally-challenged!

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Black Helicopters

Perfect Timing....

Our servers are down today, so nothing useful can be accomplished. Cue starting Paint for very bad "artwork".

(though possibly the servers are down BECAUSE of this? Our local BOFHs might be sitting down with felt tips as I type!)

The helicopters don't need no steenking road signs...!

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Black Helicopters

SAS-style ?

What with a growing number of knife-related crimes being reported, the sign shows one senior "slotting" another, which is nice.

Hells Grannies in Black Helicopters !?!?! Whatever next !

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Anonymous Coward

I've got it!

http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/questions/images/clothes/sixty.jpg

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Coat

Alternative, equally offensive stereotype

Depiction of an elderly resident pissing themselves in a nursing home perhaps?

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I give up

hmmm, trying to depict stale wee and lavender in a simple black and white sign is proving to be more challenging than I first thought.

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Scots

Reminds me of a sign I saw in Scotland, near Urqhuart Castle - a horse pulling a trailer with a stick figure in a wheelchair drawn above the trailer. Lucky there wasn't any other traffic at the time.

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Paris Hilton

@ Messrs Berry and Jones

OED lists the stem kypho-, from the Greek for crooked, as a variant of cypho-. Cyphosis has a main entry all to itself, just after cyphonism, "punishment by the {kappa}{guacu}{phi}{omega}{nu}, a sort of pillory in which slaves or criminals were fastened by the neck... ...by which the neck of the malefactor is bent or weighed downward".

As Wiki doesn't have the variant spelling, it may be fairer to say OED two, Wiki one.

Paris, because her neck has been bent downward (or so I've heard)

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Anonymous Coward

hmmm

I've always wondered, why is the one at the back sticking its fist up the ones infront arse?

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Old People

Here in Eccles there's an old sign from the 70's outside which says 'DANGER: OLD PEOPLE CROSSING"

About two weeks ago, someone scrubbed out the word 'crossing'.

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Coat

Old People

You can't beat 'em!

Pity...

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Black Helicopters

As Borat Sagdiyev would say...

Her vazhïn hang like sleeve of wizard

http://www.oldpeoplearefunny.com/images/old_lady_crashed.jpg

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Coat

sign meaning?

you mean it's not some warning sign for the yearly physical?

mines the one with the rear guard

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Coat

Kyphotic, or Cryptic?

What's next, Handicap people complaining about being represented as wheelchair bound?

The other Matt has it right, the current representation is much more accurate for the ACTUAL old people you have to watch out for, and has wider shared cultural significance.

But this old people sign is the least of my symbolic worries (because I'm not old). What I'm far more concerned about is having a good glyph to <del>warn me of</del> represent nude beaches. For some reason they have symbols for everything else you can and cannot do at the beaches here, but not the nude bit. And unlike those mythical Brazilian nude beaches, all we have over here are places where the last guys (and ONLY guys) who should be seen naked are.

Mines the one with the Peril Sensitive Sunglasses and "AARP guide to North American Geriatrics" in the pocket.

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Coat

Re: I always thought that sign meant "conga line"

http://www.haku.co.uk/b3ta/PoliceConga.jpg

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Anonymous Coward

Design team?

"It doesn't have to be world-class artwork, since our in-house department will work its magic on the winning entry."

You mean ...will set up the scene in Lego people

:)

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Oi! Yer in fer it now!

Or... Never ask the ham handed for artwork...

(See my submission, with the emphasis on "sub"!)

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Happy

NZ Sign

In Nelson, where I live, there is a seafront suburb called Monaco. On a bend is a sign warning of "Rug-rats and old biddies all over the place". great sense of humour, the Kiwis.

PS you should experience a few of their TV adverts as well....

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Alert

If they're fast enough to get out the way then you don't need the sign...

Says it all. The sign doesn't ask you to be careful because of "elderly people", its asking you to be careful of "older people with impaired mobility, reduced hearing and problems with depth perception".

At least they're walking. Put them in the driver's seat and its fun, fun, fun.....

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@AC:Alternative, equally offensive stereotype

"Depiction of an elderly resident pissing themselves in a nursing home perhaps?"

Don't forget to include an image of the care home worker leaving said elderly resident sat in their own piss because it's five minutes away from clocking off time.

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Kyphosis

My OED shows it, first quoted example 1882, most recent from 1900 BMJ. Of course, if cheapskates don't have the full version OED, they'd never be able to check.

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Coat

Maybe it's an American stereotype but...

Simply depict a figure shaking a cane, as if insisting that those damned kids stay off his lawn.

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Gold badge

Simple solution.

1) Remove the offensive signs.

2) Declare Open Season.

That'll teach the old farts to complain.

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The Drumnadrochit sign...

http://www.missiondifficult.org.uk/disabled%20drivers.jpg

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Tim
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I really don't believe..

... signs are necessary! Beware old people? Goes without saying, doesn't it?

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Boffin

Re: The Drumnadrochit sign...

I was kinda hoping it was going to be a blue, "horse-drawn wheelchair trailers only" sign.

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Anonymous Coward

I'm not worried

If I hit a Golden Oldie in my car I suspect I'll be OK and the Oldie will be squished.

My biggest worry might be scratched paintwork from flying false teeth, or perhaps scraping a woolly cardie out of my wheel arch.

This is like warning killer whales that there are slow moving injured seals around.

Just a thought... it might be more effective to warn crinklies that cars have been invented and need not have a man walking in front with a red flag anymore.

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W
Boffin

Kyphotic

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dict.asp?Word=Kyphotic

OED? PAH! WWW.TFD.COM FTW - C-YA

W

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Pirate

140 points

"death race 2000" reference - best advert I can think of for "crinkly people ahead".

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Alien

@ W

W, are you by any chance related to amanfromMars?

Re Drumnadrochit: there's a riding school there that caters to the less-good-at-moving-about-and-that among others. It is near the road but I've never seen them (a) on the road or (b) perched atop a buggy in their wheelchairs.

A "nutters coming the other direction all over the (swervetastic and barely double-track) bloody road" sign wouldn't go amiss on that stretch, too.

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Stop

Was going to post a real funny suggestion....

but apparently the other cold-hearted bastards in here beat me to it.

BTW Amanda...."as if insisting those damned kids stay off his lawn". Priceless.

Perhaps a warning triangular sign with a lovely sunset on it...possibly a sign with a solid pale, soothing institutional green color....or perhaps a garish floral pattern.

Bah!

Get off my lawn you little bastards!

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Surely what we need is...

...a sign which tells us that it isn't anything like as good as the old signs they had before the war.

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