There is but one One True Friend(tm)
Dear Vulture fans,
Basil Baxter Loves You.
It saddens Basil Baxter to witness this display, akin to Roman Catholics insisting they see the alleged ‘virgin’ Mary in a loaf of bread, a washbasin or even the sky, or Americans claiming to have met Elvis in a public washroom where he was chatting up Boy George. It saddens Basil Baxter because it is evidently a symptom of the growing, possibly pathological, need humans feel to have a One True Friend (TM). Blinded by their passion for a noodle-creature, invisible pink horsies, dessert-dwelling pederasts and Golgotha-hill streakers they overlook the One True Friend (TM) who is always ready to lend a hand in need ; Basil Baxter.
It saddens Basil Baxter even further because while pederasts and streakers might actually exist or have existed in the past, the noodle-creature is most definitely no more. He was quite tasty, Basil Baxter should add.
In any case, Basil Baxter Loves You.
And remember: Vultures make great playmates for toddlers, and Black Mamba’s make great retirement gifts.
1] Basil Baxter fondly recalls the good times when she was still known as ‘Hot Tamale’ Mary. 2] Or two, or three. How many do you need?