The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Fart-lighting youth in petrol can mishap

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Beelzeebub

I'll Second That! 

Flame

But if you like to, you'll end up here.

Plenty of fire for everyone!

Oh, sht, it's raining again!!

Tawakalna

natural selection? 

IT Angle

but sadly in this case thanks to human medical intervention the moron survived to breed more morons later in life.

great story, but....

Anonymous Coward

Darwin? 

OK so you have to be swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool to want to light your own farts, but to mess around with naked flames near an open container of petrol? Shome mishtake shurely?

Keir Snelling

On can only hope, 

That they were equipped, as all modern teenagers must be, with camera phones to record their emissive combustibility testing.

Video recording capable phones were invented to capture this kind of event more than any other. Please, please, please let it appear on youtube sometime soon.

pctechxp

Dumbass 

He'll have a sore ass for a while.

Perhaps DVDs of Bottom should carry a warning in words of 1 syllable so that chavs can read 'if u try this u r fick'

Simon

Welcome to Tipton! 

Flame

I once spent two weeks in Tipton *Shudder*

I can imagine lighting farts and setting fire to yourself is probably a good form of entertainment there, because im buggered to imagine what else you are going to do in a place like that.

Apologies to anyone from the area, but Tipton really is sooo dull.

Oh ya, the flame icon, it really fits nicely.

dervheid

"Chestnuts roasting... 

Joke

on an open fire"...

Or

"Flash!.....Ah aaaaah!"

Sam

Just seeing.. 

..who gets the Johnnie Cash reference in first.

pctechxp

Ring of fire 

Flame

Farts are a burning thing, and they male a fiery ring....

Me first

Thanks Sam

Scott

To close 

Coat

Same thing happens when you say you have an IT project the goverment might be intrested in....

david

Love is a burning ring... 

...you must be doing it wrong.

Rufus Dufus

sub-human 

Pirate

Anyone who thinks lighting your own farts is funny deserves to be filtered out of society. Permanently. I don't care what age you are.

Ian Bonham

I TOLD YOU... 

Coat

to blow the bloody drawers off...

Sascha

Think of the children! 

So, if we follow the logic of certain groups then we should promptly lobby for the ban of cigarette lighters and petrol now, no?

I mean, those two things are way more harmful to children then videogames and people are lobbying against those... so... who's starting a petition on this?

Anonymous Coward

you've been flamed 

Paris Hilton

"I think he must have won the competition..."

... for being even more of a retard than his cousin.

Paris, cos well... they're about as dumb as each other.

adnim

Give him a break 

He is twelve.

Wisdom was not one of my greatest assets at twelve, I tried recharging zinc carbon batteries from the mains once, only once though. Not to mention filling tins with gas, petrol, calcium carbide/water and dismantling fireworks in order to make explosives, the list goes on. I was more lucky than smart between 10 and 14.

I do admit the article made me laugh, experience after all is a fine yet merciless teacher.

Dave

well I'll be damned 

Flame

you CAN light a fart on fire.

I wonder if this kid's name was Kenny...

lansalot

ah come on... 

Thumb Up

Nothing to see here, move along. Just a flash in the pan, that's all.

Paul Stephenson

lol 

Thumb Up

best story i've read for a while i think.

Zargof

Lock him up! 

Sounds like a potential terrorist to me!

Lozzyho

He was lucky 

Paris Hilton

He was probably too young to have pubes.

Paris, because she shaves all hers off (presumably for that very reason).

Marvin the Martian

Aw c'mon, lay of the boy. 

Thumb Up

Given that good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes mostly from bad judgement, the lad's halfway.

paul clarke

OFGS!! 

What is the point of reporting this if there is no youtube link?

I'd love to have seen that!

madra

what a bunch of po-faced gits... 

Happy

...you all are!

are you seriously telling me none of you tried to light your farts, as a kid? it's as much part of growing up as climbing trees and collecting frog-spawn!

i could never get mine to light, but my brother did produce a nice blue flame on a couple of occasions.

Tony

Crazy kids 

Coat

The stunts these kids pull nowadays really burns my ass.

Mine's the asbestos one please.

Anonymous Coward

@Subhuman 

Coat

"Anyone who thinks lighting your own farts is funny deserves to be filtered out of society. Permanently. I don't care what age you are."

Surely it's better than surreptitiously lighting the farts of others though?

Anonymous Coward

IR Farto 

Pirate

Okay, it's fake and it isn't igniting ass gas as such but it's still really funny (or so I thought the first 893 times I watched the clip).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjwNZkyoZ88

RaelianWingnut

A Cautionary Tale... 

I remember coming home from school one day, and coming upon my father, who was brazing the leaks shut in a Triumph Toledo petrol tank. I took the situation in at a glance. 'That's not a good idea', I ventured. He told me to bugger off - always the charmer, my dad.

So, I went into the house, and into the farthest room from the scene of the crime. I started thinking about how I was going to cope without a father.

There was a muffled *thump*.

I thought: 'That's it, he's dead'.

I wasn't keen to see the outcome, but I'd have to face it at some point, so I got up, and went through the house and into the back yard.

He was standing there. The tank had ruptured. His face was white, and his hair was all sort of standy uppy.

I didn't say 'I told you so' because he'd obviously have killed me.

None of his kids were anything like as stupid. Perhaps intelligence *is* passed down the female line?

PassTheSyrup

Cash in on it 

It'd be a great advertising idea for Preparation-H. Kid, get an agent...

Anonymous Coward

@rufus dufus 

Anyone who thinks lighting your own farts is funny deserves to be filtered out of society. Permanently. I don't care what age you are.

He doesn't like lighting farts better not tell him about sitting around skin popping Demerol then either.

Anonymous Coward

after school special 

When I was 13 or so, we spent an afternoon playing with cola bottles and gas.

We would put 1-2 oz of gas in a plastic two litre bottle, lay it on its side, light the end, then stomp on it. Obviously, we were pretty happy with our little flame thrower.

Of course, we kept adding more gas... Then we did not need to fill it as often, and could get multiple "stomps" on the bottle.

It turns out, that two litre bottles are not designed for this purpose. They tend to weaken from the heat. I think it has a three stomp limit.

We filled one. I ran by and took the first stomp (now nozzle points a little higher), Kid 2 runs by and takes second stomp (now nozzle points a little higher and bottle is weaker from heat). Kid 3 runs up and jumps on the bottle with both feet (bottle sort of collapses), causing nozzle to point straight up and spray his crotch and legs.

When he was running around on fire, he looked like we was wearing fancy cowboy chaps. But with fire in place of the tassels.

Luckily it was autumn, so he was wearing jeans. And we had already prepared a water hose (just in case).

It was hilarious.

b166er

Anti fart lighting moaners 

If you can pull your head out of your own arse for a moment, bring it here while I hold it under my ass, I've got a good one brewing.

alain williams

Attempt to be Paris' best friend ? 

Paris Hilton

I read that Paris Hilton is coming to the UK to find a new best friend ""I need a best friend who is hot,"" -- maybe the lad though that this would improve his chances by making him a really hot ass!

heystoopid

So 

Paris Hilton

So , we have a future world leader in the making , making ready to light up the world for the next generation of lemmings and silly mindless twats to follow blindly just like the current generation of idiots we have elected in the so called democratic western alliance of war criminals !

Nothing ever really changes except the faces as we follow the same endless circle on the treadmill of life !

Doug

Blue Angels 

Flame

I remember those from 1968. I was 14 years old at the time. Never tried it again.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fart_lighting

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/23/Nofart.svg

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/blue-angel-fart-force/1044074036

Alex Barwell

Hot stuff 

Paris Hilton

Dear Adnim - I think I went to school with you. Did the eyebrows grow back OK? It was your own fault as I recall.

Got to admit this is natural selection at its best, almost, the fact the dick is still breathing is the flaw. Probably didn't talk much before the incident as he wouldn't have the brainpower to talk and keep on breathing anyway.

Otherwise, there must be easier ways of getting a back-sack-and-crack waxing done on the cheap. Wait until dipshit has to start shaving - what will he use for aftershave?

Paris, 'cos she has even more experience of waxing than the karate kid (geddit?)

ian

Anus flambee? 

IT Angle

I asked myself, "Self, where is the IT angle in this?" Then I realized that this poor lad had received quite a lot of information. More information than he really wanted, I'm sure.

Doug

Old Spice 

There are some problems with your comment:

A comment is required, in addition to a title.

Anonymous Coward

Was he on his own? 

What's the point in lighting your own fart? It wouldn't be funny because you wouldn't be able to see it.

Anyone who puts fire near their bum area on purpose deserves all they get imo

If he thinks it's entertaining he should go to youtube and watch people do it/have mishaps and set themselves on fire there. Since he's that stupid he could have tried spraying some fire retardant on his skin first..

Joe

"I think he must have won the competition..." 

Happy

Give that fireman his own TV show!

Jason Togneri

You all missed the Cash reference 

Flame

I think it was supposed to be:

"[I fell into] a burning ring of fire..."

At least, I got it first time.

Anonymous Coward

Goodness gracious 

Go

Great balls of fire!

Walking Turtle

So many fire fartz, so little time. 

Coat

From YouTube's search feature:

“fire fart” video results 1 - 20 of about 3,520

Also try:

fire fart gone bad fire fart gone wrong barbie girl webcam

Ah, the foibles of the Idly Unconscious Well-To-Do! And that is all for that. There's things I gotta' do that others simply cannot - off to 'em now, and good on all!

Mine's the lab jacket with the handmade glass daisy pinned to the lapel. Yes, made it mese'f. In a propane flame, actually; methane ain't quite hot-burnin' enuf fer th' borosilicate petal-drawin' operations, y'see. Nemmind; I'll get it mese'f, thanks. Best I be the one to break this'n a-tall if needs be, a-tall... Pretty thing... Still in one piece...

'Bye fer now.

Richard Granville

Oh dear! 

Coat

Looks like that back fired!

John

Arson 

Joke

Say it out loud. Repeat until you get it.

yes yes - have coat will walk.

Jeff

@adnim 

Many of us no doubt did stupid and dangerous things as young kids. But even then, I'm sure that most of us were not quite so stupid as to think that naked flame near that part of the body was a good idea.

(Note: I grew up in the back of beyond, Oz. Even in the countryside, it was only the *really* stupid kids that ever tried lighting farts!)

Nameless Faceless Computer User

Where exactly is Tipton? 

Flame

Ok, guys. For all you bashing Americans for dumb acts, let us remember that Tipton is not within the U.S. borders and stupidity knows no boundaries.

adnim

@Jeff 

Yes, despite all my misuse of various explosive materials and electricity, I never actually hurt or damaged myself, or others for that matter. I had the sense to know that what I was doing was dangerous and potentially life threatening. I did understand the physics involved, although not fully as was the case with the batteries.

I can also say truthfully that I never once tried to light my own farts, that was kids stuff.

@Alex, Nope wasn't my fault, it was the fault of Cadbury who didn't put warnings on their cocoa tins concerning their usage for exploding coal gas.

Damian Gabriel Moran

@madra 

no, having listened to Jasper Carrott from a young age I learned the potential hazards of setting light to a fart without ever having to try it myself!

Garth

Tit for tat 

Heart

Typical Limey.

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