WTF

Do they not listen to their own experts? it has nothing to do with terrists or anything like that, it's all about creating a fascist police state. So they won't release details of their expenses without a fight, but they want every detail of my life?

They really are a massive bunch of C**TS

For FK's Sake

Were in a bloody recession, ever thought about spending some of those billions helping the people out who elected you instead of wasting obscene amounts of money we don't have on absolute shite we don't want???

Thought not... I'll get my coat, it's the one with the union jack on the back if anyone can see it amongst the swastika's.

Data being stored?

Will it store the actual website visited, or just that your IP address visited that website? If it's storing more than just the details of "this connection between these devices openned between these times" then surely it's not "maintaining the system" so much as "upgrading to echelons' big brother"?

Also, while I can just about condone storing details of the connections' establishment/closing times on a pseudo-anonymous IP by IP basis (i.e. they've got to ask the ISPs to get it resolved to a physical address/location, leaving a paper trail for the courts to follow if neccesary), if it's any further than that it's actually surveilance gone mad.

I wonder if the Internet could break away and become its own country...

Not AC because, well, it'll not make a difference.

Bring back Spam

That will nicely clog up the database with lots of noise for them to sift though.

I can see a kind of reverse SETI on the horizon where people surrender spare CPU cycles and bandwidth to fill the database up with inane rubbish.

Yum Yum

Loads more lovely pork for us poor IT guys.

No chance that it will ever work though.............

SPAM, SPAM, SPAM Wonderful SPAM!

I'm at a loss to understand why the government wants a vast database of SPAM.

OTOH, if the government thinks that it can build a better storage infrastructure than Google or Amazon, I say go for it. They will fail, but it will be fun watching the system crash and burn.

Eggs...

Basket.

No further questions!

Euch!

I don't eat pork, oh wait, yes I do!

Show me the money!

Lateral thinking time

No, no, no....we're doing this all wrong. We all know this is going to be another enormous disaster that can't possibly work, but will involve the government wasting gazillions of quid of the taxpayer's money, so what can we actually DO to prevent this abuse of government power?

Now, El Reg readers are pretty smart when it comes to IT, so rather than wingeing to each other about it, let's get practical. Why doesn't ElReg set up a consultancy (staffed by the readers) that can bid for the deal, probably undercutting the existing fatcats, (may have to bung a few quid into NuLabour or NuTory coffers to make sure), and then just trouser the lolly without doing any serious work. If it's going to fail anyway then no-one will be the worse off, but this way the millions end up in deserving pockets (ours) and at the same time we square our conscience about being the IT arm of Big Brother by making certain that it won't work!

Simple really...

(Paris cos if this works we could end up richer than she is)

hmmmm ffs wtf etc...

@ Chris Collins - cypher is a v cool film.. i bet the security will be just as tight. i.e. one bloke with a spazzy eye and 'feeling' if someone is dodgy...

@ "I think we need a Halo and Devil Gordon Brown picture." - erm - maybe only need the devil one eh? i think we might need one for the tories too. maybe a time machine one so we can remember how shite their rule was :(

FFS

When did the Daily Mail staff get into power? Where has this money come from? It seems the government has suddenly got a lot of money to throw around recently, what with helping the banks out, now building a database to track my every move and breath.

I'm thinking we need Spider Jerusalem.

Mines the one thats actually a blur suit, so the black helicopters can't find me

Erm, web-hosted email??

OK, so this government plans to store a copy of my emails, which are held on a server in lord-knows where, (yahoo mail) where they have no jurisdiction to spy on every persons' actions every second of the day while you pay for it from your own taxes....

Just HOW are they going to do that exactly? The sooner we get some darknets up and running the better.... £50 a month for the govt NOT to hold every piece of communication I ever make? Bargain if you ask me!

Bad Gordon.... way to lose an election.... fsking muppet!

Hmm

So then miscreants will be obvious as they use the Royal Mail, talk to people in person, and dislike the internet.......

WAIT A MINUTE!!

That's everyone over 50.

Arghhhh the grey terror is nigh.

@The Trousering AC

Count me in, it's about time I got back some of the cash they've half-inched. And if we can expedite the collapse of this incompetent police state then that's a bonus...

NINE figure cost??

I'm sorry but how can anyone justify spending a NINE FIGURE sum on this kind of system?

Even if we ignore where that money is going to come from, shouldn't this be of some huge benefit to society if so many resources are being thrown at it? I can think of several areas where theres a greater need for investment.

Probe ?!? Like hell...

"pilot scheme will see probes inserted in networks owned by one mobile, one internet and one landline operator"

Which ones ? I want to know so I can avoid them like the plague.

Can Gordon Clown really not come up with better way of spending a billion quid (that's the cost *before* the inevitable cost overrun I suppose).

Snoopers charter is right... gezz... I must get an off-island shell account...

@A.Coward (Re: Darknets)

Download Freenet and start posting material.

So far, however, it's lots of porn, hacking manuals, and anarchist literature. It needs a serious injection of useful material before the general public will use it.

what do you mean

It'll prevent all these pesky terrorist attacks!! I can't walk down the street without a car bomb going off or a plane crashing into where I want to go, particularly irritating when I just want some milk

All they need is a mad cackle

I mean honestly what is it with this government?

ID Cards

GPS Road Pricing

RFID Biometric Elvis Passports

CCTV in your living room

42 day detention without trial

Compulsory border rape at airports

ISP traffic filtering

All deeply unpopular, most involving at least an 8 figure price tag and now crazy ass mega data centres to store spam on - are they TRYING to be the most reviled government ever?

Do they seriously expect to continue working for us if all they are going to do is take our money and spend it on ridiculous hi-tech solutions looking for a problem?

We are at what looks like being the beginning of a recession, I'm with Steven - this is not the time to be spending huge sums of money on doomed, pointless, big brother IT projects, however, if anyone does fancy fleecing them count me in - I have the maths skills of a backward 12 year old so should be able to run rings around most home office accountants

Gordon Brown and Jacqui Smith Devil icons NOW!! (no need for angels as already pointed out)

Pilot scheme

Going by the muted reaction to Phorm amongst the general public, it's clear all you need to buy them over is a series of cosy adverts showing shiny HomeHubs, a cheating swine of a husband/boyfriend who chooses a non-BT ISP, and the hard-working mother-of-two who has stayed loyal (to her ISP) to the end.

Maybe the government needs to buy into some new BT adverts: Adam being arrested at dawn by Spooks:Code Nine and Three Quarters, betrayed by an email MAC request, an unhealthy interest in the Virgin Media website, and an anonymous tip-off to the Stasi from his step-children-to-be?

Am I the only one?

For me the potential benefits outweigh the potential problems.

I would like the goverment to be able to look for terrorists and criminals efficiently.

The conspiracy theorists as usual are worrying rather too much. To believe that MI6 or any other part of the goverment is going to care what the vast majority of people are doing or have the resources to work out what that is and spend time on it is to forget our basic insignificance as individuals. the government will treat 99.9% of us as statistics 99.9% of the time and I for one welcome tools that will help them work out who to focus on.

Since I don't do anything illegal the downside potential is only that the government shifts the goalposts on what is illegal to include things that I do which doesn't seem likely in my lifetime in Britain or that I will decide to start doing illegal things.

As others have said, much more likely is that either the thing will never be built, wont work when it is built or will be insecure and create even more possibilities for other naughty people to spend my money for me.

Whether it's built or not money will end up in the pockets of people and organisations who don't really deserve it which is the real shame. The Big systems Integrators and Consultancies will lobby for work through relationships built up over years and years of days out, lunches and favours done and no doubt they will get it because of course they have all proved so adept at delivering large IT projects for government in the past, right?

(C)

Well all my mail has a (c) statement maybe I can make some money out of this

Paris 'cause she's got the money

RE: Lose it

"I think we need a Halo and Devil Gordon Brown picture."

Only if the halo is a noose - and the horns are the tips of spears that were forced through the back of his head.

I know I know - a little mean, but seriously, why must they waste our money at a time when we are seriously in the crap with money. It's the equivalent of buying an off-plan hovercar when you are on the dole and have nothing but half a packet of quick-cook rice in the fridge and the electricity/gas meter has ran out. Ludicrous.

Paris - because at least she's sensible with money.

@ Lord of Dogtown

Did you mean the:

Clustering

Unlimited

Network

Traffic

Silo?

Am I the only one?

I dunno. Is your name Roland Blavington?

If not, why hide your name?

Why hide your address, work address and salary?

Because it's none of my frigging business?

Well, there's the problem I have too.

https

good job all my emailing is done over https... I'd love to see more and more websites provide it as a matter of course for general browsing rather than just the checkout pages.

I think I'll set up a TOR endpoint inside my home network as well if that would work.

Just use a encrypted connection (with port forwarding) to a server in another country

Just use an encrypted connection (with port forwarding) to a server in another country then use email(non-uk), web, IM and SIP/VOIP from there. Job done. Of course you would need a very strong key. But make it difficult for the buggers.

For the fella above that thinks it's all ok

Ignoring the fact that it will crash in flames after consuming the GNP of a 3rd world country, The problem with this sort of thing is that once built it will never get shut down. So even if you really think there is a significant terrorism problem*, AND you're naive enough to believe that this sort of thing will 'fix' it, AND you don't read the news so you really believe the Brown & Co can be trusted with it and won't abuse it to snoop on the public for mindbendingly trivial 'offences'**, You're still gifting this to every future government, no matter how fucked up they may be.

I'll put this as simply as I can.

Build the required apparatus for a locked down police state and that's exactly what you'll get. A week, A year, 5 years, whatever, it's totally infuckingevitable.

The only way to avoid 1984 is to stop it from being built, there are no benefits that could ever outweigh the inevitable abuse of such a system.

* significant meaning far greater danger than getting hit by lightning, choking on a chicken bone etc.

** http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/06/23/councils_ripa_warning/

At least we know where to send.....

...the bombers armed with earth-penetrating guided bombs with which to destroy this modern folly.

At least that's what I hope will happen.

BTW, just how are they going to store *my* outgoing and incoming mail when STARTTLS is involved in nearly all SMTP transactions these days?

Black helicopters? Could they just please hover over the bunker for a few seconds longer.....

@Roland Bavington

Seeing as you don't mind us knowing everything about you I think you ought to post all your PINs, account details and health records here and also ensure that we have free access to your home so that we can film you doing anything and everything all day and every day.

Does that sound proportionate?

Those with nothing to hide.....don't exist!

Well lets see..

A secret database of what everyone in the country is doing, set up on the quiet by bypassing Parliament, that's going to cost ££££££ in a time of recession.

I'm guessing it's a fairly safe bet that this Register exclusive has now been passed on to the Sun and the Daily Mail (for a suitable fee..) and that we can sit back and watch Brown get crucified yet again?

Copyright?

As someone put above, surely this would lead to massive amounts of copyright infringement? Also, someone's going to figure out how to hack it or just use it as their own personal storage system.

this is 'tarded.