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Top Jock cop calls for universal DNA database

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Norman Andrews

Of course if would. 

Flame

It'd make them easier to catch even if they hadn't committed a crime at all.

Twit.

Anonymous Coward

woohoo 

Crazy pigs using lowest common denominator to justify their crazy plans. Shame I already live in England, we set the low water mark for freedom, honesty, efficency, productivity and invetigative ability, and the rest of Europe shall use us a shinning beacon of oppression for all to follow into the night.

But at least he's using the old adage "if it's worth doing it's worth doing right" even if the end result is a useless piss poor pot. No longer will inevstigators have to use a fine scalple to find excellent results - instead they shall throw a sausage down a wide ally in the hope that it hits the sides to fit someone up.

Anonymous Coward

in other news... 

Dead Vulture

"Chief Constable of Scotland's largest police force stoned to death by angry mob"

Iain

This just reinforces what I've always thought... 

Stop

That under no circumstances should anyone, ever, give credence to any of our boys in blue who court the press. We pay these clowns to do a simple job, apply the law; the law made by those we elect. We can at least vote those twats out when the laws they create go bad (that means you Brown). But where, prithee, would we be if we gave the 'polis' every new power they asked for?

Might I politely suggest that Mr House take himself back to 1930's Germany where he clearly belongs.

A Baird

It's official... 

Paris Hilton

I'm now, finally, ashamed to be a sweaty sock.

Dumb twat. If he wants any of my DNA he'll have to scrape it off Paris.

Pete

As a Scot in exile... 

Heart

all I can do is agree. What a bampot. Hopefully the idea will be blasted from the sky by the shotguns of common sense and public outrage.

Anonymous Coward

An "alibi" 

is a "plea of having been elsewhere at the time when any alleged act took place". Even the weakened sense of an "excuse" doesn't match with "infecting a crime scene with someone else's DNA".

I suppose there are two main approaches here:

1. Put the DNA from a particular person at the scene in order to divert police attention onto that person.

2. Scatter dust collected from the London Underground over the crime scene, i.e. DNA from thousands of people. If they do find your DNA and you get charged you can dismiss the DNA evidence by pointing out that you are just one of thousands whose DNA was found.

The difference is that in the second case you are not trying to hide the fact that the DNA record was deliberately polluted.

I don't know how you want to call these two techniques (no doubt the criminal classes will soon invent terms if they don't already have them) but I don't think "alibi" is a good start.

Anonymous Coward

Or better yet... 

Black Helicopters

Why not tag them all at birth, should save some time.

Actually, as they're more than likely to commit a crime at some point, let's cut out the middle man and lock them up as soon as they leave the womb. It's the only way to be sure.

AC - because THEY're watching.

Neil Barnes

That's right, assume we're guilty... 

Paris Hilton

Find me, *then* use DNA on site as corroborating evidence. And if it wasn't me, delete my file - DNA, fingerprints, the lot.

I'm getting increasingly annoyed about this...

Paris, because she's allowed to collect my DNA

Anonymous Coward

I ♥ Big Brother 

Heart

Has the good constable trotted out the "If you have nothing to hide line yet"

And course there are no such things as false positives

ElFatbob

Not surprising really... 

as this CC is angling for the top Met job after his tenure at Strathclyde and it looks as though he is trying to please his prospective political masters (i.e. Westminster, not Holyrood).

How the feck did we end up in this 1984 society?

Simon.W

Pig ignorant 

Flame

nuff said

Anonymous Coward

'Jock'? 

Thumb Down

'Jock'? Seriously? The article is fine but thumbs down for the language choice...

Wonderkid

Passing the blame here... 

Flame

...he is admitting that New Labor's touchy feely leftist policies are not working, but rather than simply put more police on the beat, he wants technology to be used as a substitute. How convenient - yet how dangerous - for reasons already highlighted by other Reg readers above.

JonB

What abuse? 

With widespread use people will be more familiar with DNA at trial and it'll acquire the status such evidence deserves. That is, rather more limited than it is now.

The Alibi guy, well yes, that would de-value the evidence, but the risk that someone has managed to do that successfully hardly devalues the entire database concept. Besides, it depends where they got the DNA sample if it's blood from broken glass then you still have a problem.

False positives would still be subject to explanations and alibis. With a massive use of DNA evidence it would lose its magic and a conviction on DNA alone would be very hard.

Of course, visitors would have to be sampled too, after all, when you have large numbers of samples the risk of a chance match increases.

So, really the question is how will it be abused?

Not particularly in favour of it, not least because of the hassle of going down the station to leave a sample.

@A Baird : I'm now, finally, ashamed to be a sweaty sock.

Isn't that rhyming slang for a cock?

scott

Anyone seen Dexter? 

Of course, Plod *always* has an excuse for leaving their DNA at the scene of a crime.Anyone seen Dexter??

I saw that in SassenachLand the PlodAssociation refuse to allow their members DNA to be profiled/handed over to private companies for 'research purposes', but it's OK for everyone else's to be.

I wonder if the Scottish Federation feels the same way?? I guess so.

Britain really has turned into a 'them v us' Authoritarian State. Sure, it doesn't have the jackboots - but in some ways that makes it worse. Glad I left a few years ago.

BTW - a retired Scots cop told me all the senior cops are now known as "Eternal Flames"; i.e like the flames you see at war memorials...as in 'never been out'.

So even the rank and file think their top bosses are useless politicians!

David Pollard

Remember Shirley McKie 

It would be interesting to know what has actually been done to correct the demonstrable flaws in the criminal justice system before introducing another supposedly foolproof indicator of guilt.

http://www.shirleymckie.com/index.htm

Les Matthew

Re: 'Jock'? 

What do you expect from a bunch of southern fairies? ;)

Pete

Re: 'Jock' 

Heart

I'm proud to be called a "Jock", aren't you? But it does make El Reg appear anglo-centric, or even London-centric. If the bampot in question had been the chief of an English force, would the title have been "Top Limey cop...", or maybe "Top Sassenach cop..."? - I think not. It's bad enough having trolls here without the authors providing their fair share of trolling activity themselves.

Graham Marsden

Oh look... 

Coat

... it's another Policeman claiming that our freedoms such as that pesky Presumption of Innocence are less important than something that might make their jobs a bit easier or, at least, let them accuse someone of a crime because their DNA was found at a crime scene and then effectively demand the suspect prove their innocence...

Mine's the one with the Citizen Number and DNA Barcode on the back.

Anonymous Coward

DNA - The new silver-bullet to cure all crime in our time... 

Boffin

Bollocks!

We leave our DNA scattered around all over the place - shedding hair, shedding dead skin - and it is easily reused and left someplace else.

Furthermore, we are expected to believe that the DNA database (like the ID Database) won't ever get compromised.

The DNA (and ID) database will never be abused by anyone that has authorised access - 'cos our plods are all so very noble - The Guildford 4 and Birmingham 6 were just blemishes on an otherwise stainless record...

The Criminals would never circumvent or game the system... because they respect the law so much...

The DNA (and ID) database will never be subject to mission/scope creep....

But because we are so afraid of the Terrorists, the Pedophiles, the Drugs etc, we NEED it to protect us... like life wasn't functioning without it.

anarchic-teapot

Re: 'Jock'? 

Damn right. I'd be embarrassed to see a twerp like him classified as a real Scotsman. However, in this case the word is possibly being using in the American sense of a large beefy prat who thinks with the contents of his underwear.

A Baird

@JonB 

Alert

Not in the forces, the last time I checked, but I guess it could be context sensitive. :)

'Oi, get that sweaty sock outta my face!'

<:-|

Anonymous Coward

Geheime Staatspolizei - working in the United Kingdom 

Black Helicopters

So those that fought against Nazi tyranny did so in vain!

When will the police & politicians finally realise that they cannot keep erode our liberties without getting a backlash from the public. There is no point in the police trying to convince us that it is for the best, because more & more of us are becoming resentful of their heavy-handed tactics.

At the "Bulldog Bash" (biker fest) at Long Marston Warwickshire police have closed surrounding roads to ensure that only one entrance is available. The ACC of Warwickshire stated that this was to to allow them to search all vehicles and people entering. Never mind the inconvenience that other members of the public are put to!

When will these wallies realize that they should be out catching criminals not controlling us.

Black helicopter because it's the cop's "Eye in the sky".

john oates

top jock 

Apologies to anyone offended by Jock in the headline - it wasn't meant to be derogatory - I wouldn't want to upset our Edinburgh office apart from anything else...

James

Eternal Flames - never been out 

Coat

is that:

a) on the beat?

b) of the closet?

my coat's in the closet

JonB

@A Baird 

The numerous "jock" references have given me the required insight now... ;)

> 'Oi, get that sweaty sock outta my face!'

So said when you have a Scotsman attached to your face?

Never really had that problem.... Must be a forces thing...

Anonymous Coward

Stephen House 

Stephen House is obviously a supporter of the Police State that the UK has become. Mr House should keep his big mouth shut and get on with Policing. Seems his force cannot do its job properly or else he would not need to rely on DNA. What has changed that suddenly they need DNA database for everyone ?

Mike Richards

@ Anonymous Coward 

'When will the police & politicians finally realise that they cannot keep erode our liberties without getting a backlash from the public.'

Y'know, I'm not sure the British people have a limit. Year after year more and more liberties are taken away and hardly anyone gives a crap - ask people about DNA databases and they regurgitate the 'Crimewatch' line.

I'm sure its down to three things:

1: the crap educational level of the average Briton who knows nothing about - oooh the law, politics, history (and the rest);

2: the fact we don't have a written constitution - take the US, most Americans know what their rights are (in the broadest sense) and where to find them. Who here knows the relevant pieces of legislation that gives us our very limited rights; and;

3: we've never been under a domestic dictatorship or occupied by a foreign power - go to mainland Europe and they all have personal experience or recent family experience of what its like to have a secret police force, detention without trial, the removal of undesirables etc.

Put those three together and you have a smug, complacent, thick-as-pigshit population who can be exploited by anyone with an agenda.

This country is broken, time to take it back and demand a new one.

David Neil

F### Right off! 

Stop

If those corrupt, incompetant clowns can turn on one of their own (Shirley McKie), do everything in their power to ignore complaints of assault by one of their own (http://tiny.cc/Llupc) then what chance to the plebs in the street have?

Steve

Re: Bulldog Bash 

"At the "Bulldog Bash" (biker fest) at Long Marston Warwickshire police have closed surrounding roads to ensure that only one entrance is available. The ACC of Warwickshire stated that this was to to allow them to search all vehicles and people entering. Never mind the inconvenience that other members of the public are put to!"

Then you might want to take some direction from the Climate Camp. They decided that waiting 1-4 hours to be searched and have their camping gear confiscated went a little bit beyond being "detained for a brief period" (as plod are allowed to) so about a hundred or so people just ignored them and entered the camp.

There's not really a lot they can do when people, en masse, refuse to acknowledge their authority - especially if it happens to be a load of bikers rather than hippies.

Anonymous Coward

What do you have to hide??? 

Coat

... we are all guilty something it is only a matter of time before the storm troopers come knocking...

I'll get me coat and leave the country 'cos this is now a police state where all need to be sampled, tagged, scanned, televised, and in the end bagged by a police force who believe we are all guilty of something.

grahame

who is keeping an eye on them? 

I would not be against a system whereby all filth had to be filmed when on duty at all times by a third party and we could watch online to decide if they were up to scratch. Then vote them out if not. Also, publish their home addresses online.

After all, if they've got nothing to hide.

Anonymous Coward

@woohoo By Anonymous Coward 

Let's hope that mandatory DNA sampling isn't brought in for offences of criminal spelling... :-)

Anonymous Coward

@grahame 

Coat

Interesting comments... as has been pointed out on El Reg quite a few times now, because of the "Edmond Davies bump", over half (53%) of the entire Police Service will be leaving over the next 5 years... even Asst Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur acknowledges that 40% of current serving Met officers will be gone by the time the 2012 Olympics comes round... So, implement your ideas, thus ensuring there won't actually be any policing of the Olympics at all. But I wonder if "grahame" or his mates will be stepping forward to volunteer for the task...?

The reality is, you're going to have fun with all of the foreign civilian security staff who WILL be doing the "policing"... at least it will give you genuine cause to complain that you've been given a hard time by them, as an alternative to moaning about the police! :-)

Half of the UK Police Service will now get their coats...

Anonymous Coward

@Sweaty Sock 

That'll be one of those ones with a billiard ball in it then?

Anonymous Coward

@anarchic-teapot 

Joke

" thinks with the contents of his underwear."

errr...thinks with his "skid mark"????

johnB

Next Step... 

Surely is to have our National Insurance Numbers tattood in a convenient location (say on the inside of the wrist).

Can't think why it's not been done before...

grahame

@anonymous coward 

Interesting facts. The police in Merseyside are so overwhelmed with applications they take 1 in 200. I don't see any shortage just yet.

I'll leave signing up for such a worthless shower to those who admire them so much.

Steen Hive

Jock 

Thumb Down

As a Jock I cordially offer to pull down the top-jock-cops jocks and provide a sample of my DNA up the jocksie. How's that sound, you fascist swine?

ooFie

@Mike Richards 

Coat

Testify! Sing It Loud!

*\. Mines the one with a Rage Against The Machine Album in the pocket with the line 'it has to happen somewhere, it has to happen sometime - what better place than here, what better time than now!' highlighted in the song sheet.

Anonymous Coward

@David Neil 

How can they be corrupt AND turn on one of their own? Surely the fact that they suspected even a police officer shows no one is above the law?

But the point is fingerprints were no more of a magic bullet than DNA evidence. neither are 100% reliable and jurys need to understand that and give them the _appropriate_ consideration.

@grahame

You think police don't show up on CCTV as well? Its a double edged sword that way.

@AC

"What has changed that suddenly they need DNA database for everyone"

There are an increasing number of offences and a decreasing number of police to detect and investigate them?

Mark

Missed out on the subtext 

"Jock's Trap For Underworld".

Anonymous Coward

I think 

Think that this would not go over to well here in the US. We've shot politician for less

JonB

Harumph! 

Apart from the odd vague harumph there's not really any sound reason to oppose this..

I suppose the question is, would it actually improve the clear-up rate?

Chris G

@ Mike Richards 

Well said, every so often the question is raised in parliament for the formation of a British constitution and is always thrown out. Our nanny state masters would have a much harder time introducing the ridiculous controls they do if the population had a constitution to refer back to.

As for a Scottish DNA database, I wonder what William Wallace's reaction would have been?

Anonymous Coward

just addressing some things.. 

I (too) wondered for a minute.. if he was English would it be mentioned? But TO BE FAIR I think the reason for his Scottishness being mentioned is because Scottish law is the exception ...He is proposing a change to Scottish law..

I hope so anyway, as I'm already aware of quite a bit of anti-Scottishness or at least constant belittling whenever Scotland or Gordon Brown is mentioned. (Mostly by posters not authors) His nationality must ALWAYS be pointed out.

Gordon Brown; not a man, not simply the UK Prime Minister like Tony Blair was. No, a Scottish man. A Scottish man who dares to be in charge of the UK/England. A complete idiot, someone who has managed to ruin Britain in months, compared to the Saint that was Tony Blair.

The worst PM ever, announced after mere days as the front man.

Anyway, as for the title...? I can understand that some people might not know the word 'Jock' is offensive to Scots. It's not so much the word that is offensive (many people don't find it offensive) It's really what or who is behind it. It's almost exclusively used by English people towards Scots, and almost always in a negative way. Which is part of the problem here. It's a negative story and uses the word Jock thus there is suspicion/anger. Hope that clears it up a bit.

Math Campbell

@ Mike Richards 

Flame

"3: we've never been under a domestic dictatorship or occupied by a foreign power - go to mainland Europe and they all have personal experience or recent family experience of what its like to have a secret police force, detention without trial, the removal of undesirables etc."

Oh really?

Foreign Power: England (to Scotland, that is). CHECK

Dictatorship: Act of Union (1707) forced on Scottish Parliament through corruption and bribes and blackmail; little to no public assent given the mass rioting on the streets. CHECK

Occupation: after the attempted overthrows of said Foreign Power in 1715 and 1745, English troops were stationed all over Scotland, numerous atrocities committed; resistors executed or sent to colonies. CHECK

Fair enough this wasn't recent, this has tailed off in the last 100 years or so.

Deportations were happening up until the 1920's (to New Zealand if memory serves).

Nowadays it's political occupation; even if the entire population of Scotland voted for one party, they could still be overturned 10:1 by English voters. Maggie Thatcher did tremendous damage to Scotland and had only one Scottish MP. That's not democracy. It's occupation by another country's Government, albeit they are democratically elected by the people of that other country.

Not to mention the until-now undiscovered official UK Govt. policy (as outlined in papers recently released to the National Archives under the FOIA) of denying any and all government contracts where possible to Glasgow shipbuilders and Scotland in general in order to stifle the Scottish economy. Living as I do in a "former" (there's still one, barely) shipbuilding area, I can't stress enough at the damage this policy has caused through the mass unemployment it caused. Glasgow used to be the "second city of the empire", but London didn't like that idea, so now Glasgow is the poorest city of it's size in Western Europe.

Scotland is the only country in the history of civilisation to have discovered oil in her territory, and be poorer thereafter.

London seems to be richer though. Can't think why, the bunch of oil-stealing lazy scrounging bas*ards.†

Oh, my bad, apparently the Scots are the "lazy benefit-stealing scrounging bas*ards" aren't they? Silly me.

† For the record I have no beef with anyone from London at all, unless they're part of the English Government. In which case I truly hope that when the revolution comes the mob of angry english voters, tired with mis-management and tyrannical fascist-overlords like yourself, who'd implement the policies this muppet copper is advocating, find a wall with your name on it. I'll leave it to them what they then do.

Won't matter me since we'll be independent by then I'm sure.

bob_blah

So how much is the bounty... 

Happy

.... to get a copy of Mr House's DNA profile? Could be worth a lot of money to a criminal. Because he would be the first person to have his DNA put on record permanently wouldn't he? That's how the system will work right? All police officers and their families will be done first right?

In fact now that I think about it, selling your DNA to a criminal could be a whole new economy. You give them some skin flakes, they liberally sprinkle them around the crime scene, and commit the crime whilst you're having a dinner party with twelve friends.

Now if only I was in the US I could patent that business model.

Anonymous Coward

@Math Campbell 

I'd like to hear more about that policy you mentioned to stifle the Scottish economy. Is anything online?

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