or could our grasp of the ancient languages be lacking in cultural depth? Try translating any joke, good or bad into another language and it generally dies a death. (except Monty Python, of course)

Laugh? I nearly did.

Bob Monkhouse sued them for copywrite

...ugly, but she uses her bottom lip as a shower cap!

...ugly but when she does her make-up the lipstick crawls back down the tube!

...ugly but she makes her own yogurt by staring at a pint of milk!

...but she had a face like a bag full of spanners

Jimmy Tarbuck did that one a few years ago

..big, but everytime she bends down there's an eclipse.

Q. Of all leaves, which leaf is the cleanest?

A. The holly, because no man will wipe his arse with it.

True Fact, Guaranteed.

You should have published the winning joke in the original Sumerian. The pun is really funny, although not really PC.

And of course the Egyptian joke is meaningless if don't you see the way the hieroglyphs appear on the actual cartoon.

no tomatoes

He only had one arm.

A man is walking past a Bedlam when he hears a voice yelling out, "Thirteen! Thirteen!".

The man thinks nothing of it and continues walking. After taking not more than two steps, he hears the same voice again yell out, "Thirteen! Thirteen!". This gets him curious. He starts looking around, but sadly the Bedlam is surrounded by a tall wall and he can't see anything!

As he is looking around the wall, trying to find a way to see in, the voice continues to yell out "Thirteen! Thirteen!".

Finally, by a stroke of luck, the man finds a whole in the wall for him to peek through! He gets close, bends down a little and presses his eye tight against the whole to see whats going on. But no sooner than he presses his face against the wall to see, a stick comes through the hole and pokes him in the eye!

The man falls over into the street, holding his eye in pain as the voice on the other side of wall calls out, "Fourteen! Fourteen!"

Shark infested custard

One leg's both the same.

Moby's Dick.

"those are bear tracks" said one..

"no, those are deer tracks" said the other..

They were still arguing when the train ran them over..

They rub it, out pops a genie who gives them a wish each.

The first one says, "I want to be smart". *POOF* she turns brunette and swims to the mainland.

The second says "I want to be smarter than that..". *POOF* her hair turns black, she cuts some trees, builds a boat and sails to the mainland.

The third says "I want to be even smarter than THAT.." *POOF* she turns into a man and walks across the bridge..

Someone who thinks that "harass" is two words..