The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Sutton Police bribe kids to behave

Jason Harvey

obesity epidemic 

Stop

"This has some local papers to warn of an impending police-fuelled child obesity epidemic."

umm... once a month does not an epidemic make. if it was every day, then yeah. But not once a month. those local papers just want some alarmist news to sell papers. and they wonder why people are always dissing the media for the way they report stuff. id-ten-t... the lot of 'em.

Anonymous Coward

In my day... 

Black Helicopters

It used to cost 20-pieces of silver to betray your mates and become a grass for the "authorities"!

Kids today are cheap.

http://bp2.blogger.com/__J9RAXbsilw/SHk0Lhs1QXI/AAAAAAAAADY/gaBg2K2uH20/s1600-h/12072008054.jpg

Anonymous Coward

In my day... 

Black Helicopters

It used to cost 20-pieces of silver to betray your mates and become a grass for the "authorities"!

Kids today are cheap.

Ryan

are Krispy Kreme doughnuts discounted? 

Paris Hilton

Guessing the kids should be given discount early, get them in training to become full-time officers. Then they will be able to sit at their desks all day in the police stations eating doughnuts allowing serious crime to continue as normal.

Paris because she does not feel safe on our streets!

Joshua Sugarman

Unfair on the kids that are good 

Thumb Down

Little Jimmy is 15, a couple of friends but pretty content with sitting at home building a linux machine in his spare time.

He gets into no trouble, doesn't go out much. Why should little Jimmy not be able to get the 10% discount, while big bully Brian who is forced to go to these by his parents gets to enjoy lots of cheaper free stuff.

This benefits the parents more than the kids as it is them who provides money, and we all know that kids who are criminals in these areas are usually so due to their upbringing etc....

My point is, the good people are not getting any incentive, while if they then did something bad to get invited to one of these things, then suddenly they get discount. See a problem?

This is exactly like a connexions scheme that would give free ipods to skiivers who return to school. What about all the top class kids that go and have poor backgrounds? It's a silly silly thing to do.

Simon Painter

Wrong. 

Thumb Down

Bribery is the material inducement to perform an illegal act. It's possible to offer financial or material incentives to do good things but that is by definition not bribery.

Tom

I live in Sutton 

It's got the biggest nick in the world, built at vast expense a few years ago. But you never, ever see a copper on the streets. I think they must all be too comfy in their new palatial residence.

And as for the kids, well it's not exactly da ghetto around here.

Anonymous Coward

It could work, but... 

Pirate

I don't see what was wrong with kids being given a good clout round the ear when they mis-behaved. It used to work before all the politically correct loonies got their way.

Kwac

@It could work, but... 

it just teaches kids not to get caught.

The big problem is (as you say ) giving a clout when they misbehave - are there the funds for a 24-hour Sutton copper per kid?

Or is it better (as has been mentioned already) to reward appropriate behaviour?

p.s. I'm just glad that I'm not being bribed to go to work until Monday.

Mike Richards

Should be mandatory... 

...to have cops in every cinema audience. It might be the only way to stop members of the audience talking, making and taking phone calls, jumping up and down and generally being pains in the ass.

Anonymous Coward

@Kwac 

I don't think a clout round the ear taught kids to avoid getting caught, the little so-and-sos seem to be determined enough not to get caught without the need of a clout for encouragement.

I totally agree there probably isn't enough funds for 24hr policing per kid, but if we hadn't started pansy-policing in the first place perhaps crime levels wouldn't be at the level they are. (I don't blame the police for this, its the loony law makers at fault who encourage and back these gormless hug-a-hoodie campaigns.) The question is, are we wasting yet more precious funds on (possibly) daft reward schemes? After all, isn't the whole point of being a law abiding citizen to behave, without the need of reward?

Of course, there are ways of rectifying this, but its what is considered tolerable. My personal sugestion, if youth crime is so bad, would be to enforce a curfew after 9pm, and then clout those found outside after those hours.

Anonymous Coward

Little Jimmy 

Paris Hilton

"Little Jimmy is 15, a couple of friends but pretty content with sitting at home building a linux machine in his spare time.

He gets into no trouble, doesn't go out much. Why should little Jimmy not be able to get the 10% discount, while big bully Brian who is forced to go to these by his parents gets to enjoy lots of cheaper free stuff."

Simple one this! Because Little Jimmy sounds like some kind of paedo or mass killer in the making. He should be out socialising on street corners, getting adult to buy him cheap cider and trying to charm his way into his teenage girlfriend's pants! Instead he's building a freetard machine so he can look at pictures of "girl's bits" while rattling his wrist off the keyboard!!!

Paris, cause she'd know how make the Penguin lover into someone that want to get into another box as root!

Anonymous Coward

final score = minus 2,(999),999,999,990 

Paris Hilton

10 out of 10 for thinking of the children... minus several billion for joined up thinking... Good behaviour, kindness, honesty and generally treating everyone as equals are valuable lessons to be learned by kids today. As Joshua Sugarman so correctly points out... YET AGAIN it is the bastard element of our society that are being rewarded after the fact whilst those prepared to behave and keep their heads down are persecuted by omission.

... here's a little exercise for you to try at home (use someone else's dog): call beast to heel, keep shouting and encouraging it until it finally notices you and comes over... "c'mon puppy, there's a goooooood dog". NOW!!! smack it really hard with a handy stick, quickly, quickly... again, again - Now see how quick it is to come to you?

... OK, using the same (but reversed) psychology; catch antisocial barstool spraying graffitti, littering, bullying, doing drugs (are bad for you hmmmm-kay?) etc... call it naughty, call it bad, refer to it as a terrible person and just when it starts to regret its' actions (or, to regret getting caught at least) buy the fucker gifts? take him to the movies? give him a fucking donut? Just imagine how quickly the brat will learn how to behave?

paul

sutton 

Unhappy

i'm in a neighbouring town of sutton and we could do with them bribes alot more then sutton!!!!

as tom said that police station cost millions to built, you never see a copper around it and there isn't hoddy's hanging out on each corner........