An NZ judge has done the decent thing and made a nine-year-old girl a ward of court to allow her to ditch what must rate among the most preposterous names of all time - Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. The issue of the poor child's moniker surfaced during a custody hearing in New Plymouth back in February, the BBC reports. The …
maybe its something about NZ....
paris - because thats a bloody silly name as well.
Shame Frank Zappa wasn't a Kiwi
Then poor Moon Unit and Dweezil might have had a chance of ditching their ridicukous names.
Benson and Hedges aren't the worst individually but put together they do sound stupid without a doubt but where the hell did Number 16 Bus Shelter or Sex Fruit come from?
What next, Public Toilet?
Any child lumbered with a dire name shall be entitled to swap names with the appropriate parent, who shall be stuck with the result.
All attempts ...
... to give a kid a stupid name should result in the name "My parents both have a low IQ" being recorded. At least until the kid is old enough to pick their own name.
I know a white-van man whose main reason for wanting a son appears to be so he could nickname him 'Biff'.
Paris Hilton and Austin Healy, made for each other.
If your offspring turn out to be losers, they can blame it on a poor choice of name and sue their parents? Don't parents have any rights any more?
Maybe we should just give our children a placeholder name, like "<insert_name_here>". Then they can choose their own. If they did that when they were, say, 5 years old I reckon that'd result in some pretty interesting monikers. Then we could all laugh at them when they were saddled with it for life.
no 16 bus shelter
Lets hope that the kid is named after the place they where concieved and not where they where born!!!
Not only Anglo-Saxons are this silly
My wife is from Romania and told that one of her fathers friends named a daughter "The 27th Congress of the Romanian Communist Party" (or, rather, the Romanian equivalent of this). This misguided attempt at patriotism was, obviously, during the communist regime.
Sometimes seemingly innocent names can be bad in combination. In Denmark, I have heard examples of priests refusing to baptise children with such combinations, including "Tom Bajer" (tom = empty, bajer = beer or Bavarian, the latter being the origin of the surname) and "Anders Sand" (which sounds like Anders And, the Danish name of Donald Duck).
But a name like Bent Koch is perfectly legal (and not uncommon) in Denmark, as it doesn't sound risque in Danish.
the parents aren't even famous!
Change name to?
If my parents gave me a name like that I would change it to something like "My parents are T@wts"
Speaking of stupid names, my wife was in the supermarket a few weeks ago and spotted two kid running around, then the mother spotted them and called to one
"Come here Dolce!"
My wife said that everyone looked at the mother and waited with baited breath for the inevitable and yes the mother turned to the other child and said
"You too Gabbana!"
Those poor kids!
The parents should be surgically neutered, preferably without anaesthetic.
Hold on, Violence?
You mean Violence Jack is a real person? I knew it!
As for the others, Midnight is a great name for a girl. Okay, so she's got a silly middle name to go with it but don't we all? Number 16 ought to go by the name Shelter, actually I think I once read a book with someone called that.
Honestly, I can't see either of those being worse than being called Elvis. Seriously.
that would explain it all
paula yates was a new zealander, how else do you explain Fifi and Peaches.
Also they should stop bloody silly parents from calling their kids after countries since everyone wants to get into India on maury povitch, and it's not by migrating!!
Perhaps the courst should also inflict a stupid name on the parents.
That way they will perhaps realise what they are trying to do to their child.
Lugubrious Slipknot 3.0
How does affect
The more well known handicapped by this.
Peaches, and Fifi Trixibelle Geldof, Dweezil and Moon unit Zappa? Do they get compensation?
I dislike kids, but even I wouldn't be THAT cruel
I don't get it
You need a license to drive, but any idiot can have a kid.
I'm going to call my child
What's wrong with that name?
I quite like it.
Yours, Raymond Luxury-Yacht (pronounced Throat-Warbler Mangrove)
I can't see...
... what all the fuss is about.
Bubblegum Moonrock Squidman McGinley
It has a great chapter on this. It also mentions the parents who decided to call their kid 'Shithead'. Ironically, the books starts with the idea that crime in the US dropped because of Roe vs Wade, the case that made room for legalised abortion. The point being that the number of potential little hooligans were aborted before birth in the seventies and eighties, leading to less criminals in the 90's.
However, seems a few got through and decided to bestow their beloved with names like "Loser".
People are morons.
parents deliberately harming their offspring's chances in life (why do they have children in the first place?) should be forced to change their own names to one of their child's choosing.
heart is for all parents sharing the love.
Whats in a name?
Some people just don't get the irony (like a friend with the surname Morrison who was going to call their kid Mark)
But ones like these should just be slapped at the registrars office every time they insist on a silly name.
This isn't a pseudonym ya know!
They should have allowed that one ;¬)
Couple of others
Had a mate who's second name was rhea. Swore blind he was gonna call his first gonna and and second diar ... Never did though, thank god!
Surely, "Talula No Longer Does The Hula From Hawaii"?
where the poor sprog was conceived.
Surely all these weird names are references to that beautiful (and sometimes not so beautiful - apparently) beast with 2 backs moment?
// Paris, as she clearly has only one back.
If you wish to call you kids Fish and Chips, you should probably have got 2 cats instead.
If you wish to call your child Sex Fruit, you should just be locked up.
BA Flight 793 to Heathrow Smith
Maybe there should be a law that allowed you to swap names with one of your parents when you got to 16? I'd love to see the look on that girl's mum's face when she realised that her name from now on was Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. Or Dad's name from now on was Fat Boy.
Of course they let that through- what 10yr old *wouldn't* want that as a name.
It's only a small step from "persuasion" to where the happy slappers in govt. offices are telling people what they can and can't name their kids, right down to keeping lists of allowed names. American ex-pats find that they can't indulge in the customs of passing on parental names, or even grand-parental names, if their kids are born in the wrong country in Europe. As usual the Frogs are big offenders in this dept. Compared to the idiocy inflicted by bureaucracies in situations like this, a few bloody silly names are a small price to pay.
I don't see why she can't tell her chums her real name? It's Talula. Nothing silly about that, one of the girls in my son's class is called Talula. OK, the middle names are profoundly silly, but you don't need to disclose your middle name, and in any case, lots of people have pretty silly middle names anyway.
BTW, I think Midnight Chardonnay sounds quite good actually. Lots of Americans have sillier names than that. (Although some of the other examples cited are indeed very silly!)
On changing your name
Archibald Cockpuller went into a lawyer's office and told him he wanted to change his name.
"I can see why you might want to change your name," said the lawyer. "What are you thinking of changing it to?"
"Well, I thought John Cockpuller would be nice ..."
"Cinderella Beauty Blossom, Fat Boy, Fish and Chips (twins), Keenan Got Lucy, Sex Fruit, Stallion, Twisty Poi and Yeah Detroit."
so a) wouldn't someone notice when the birth certificate is signed? or does nobody look a chav in the eye anymore?
And considering the worldwide actions on paedo activity , one namely being the woolies bed called the 'lolita', if that causes mass fury, what does calling your kid 'sex fruit' do? surely that's just asking for trouble? shouldn't the parents be put away for insighting such things? And you have to ask, for the kid called 'keenan got lucy', what was the surname? stoked? kippered?
some people need their heads examined....
So I guess..
the chav contingent is spreading worldwide... god help us all....
good ol' google
just to say, noticed this over at http://stuff.co.nz/AAMB1/aamsz=760x120/4628719a10.html in the comments:
"If my memory serves me correctly his full name is Count Lawrence Cinnamon Sex Fruit and he changed his name by deed poll as an adult, so this is not an example of parental abuse unless one can indeed abuse a parent by changing their name in such a manner."
Mustn't always blame the parents then....
Alistair Darling.....How embarrising to say "Darling, I need more money". So lets get him off the streets as well.
Paris - you really need to ask with her named after a Parisian Hotel.
More cruelty to children
I spent some time on babyname forums helping a pregnant friend to pick a name, and if they're anything to go by my IQ must certainly rank in the top 2% of the Western world's population. Needless to say, my friend just went for "Kate".
If you feel like a bit of a laugh, or just want to get a headstart on finding out who the next generation of serial killers is going to be, check out notwithoutmyhandbag.com (Baby's Named a Bad Bad Thing). They posted a huge amount of unbelievably silly names while adding some of their own constructive criticism.
Incidentally, if you're male, I'd suggest you proxy your way to "notwithoutmyhandbag.com", preferably through a site that is named along the lines of jugsandmotors.com (or outdoorpussy.com of course if you're more environmentally inclined).
I'm always reminded that there is meant to be a Pocahontas McGinty somewhere in Glasgow. Poor bastards.
Every time I think its probably time I head back home from London, some random piece of wierdness like this surfaces which reminds me why I left...
...apart from that the Americans have got their claws into a lot of the good businesses and real estate now so the country's doom is imminent. (Gee thanks Peter Jackson) Before you know it the nuclear warships will be back.
All that lot would have been shortened to just Talula within a day or two of the child's birth. The kid could have treated all the rest as "middle names" and simply ignored them.
Yes, Talula isn't a fantastic name, but it's not *that* bad.
It's all relative
"Consider for a moment any beauty in the name Ralph." - Frank Zappa, when asked about his children's unusual names.
At least Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii has a pleasant rhythmic quality.
question - I'm sure there will be loads...
Will Mr and Mrs Bates be permitted to have a son on any pretext, given that he will invariably be called master...
Working on a sex farm
Sex Fruit is a superb name. It's symbolic, and it's also a great way to impress people at parties. E.g. "Hello, my name is Sex Fruit Smith - would you like to wrap your teeth around me and take a bite", that kind of thing.
"Hi, I'm Sex Fruit. Would you like to strip off my skin and gouge out my innards with a spoon? Baby?"
More reasonable names...
Just think of the hilarity if the surname happens to be Glass. For example, there's Irene (Bad if she only uses her first initial). And, there's Crystal. And, what about little Sharpas? ;-)
P.S. Mines the one with the pockets stuffed full of rubber. ;-)
Posthumous silly names.
What about a girl born 1379 named Diot Coke ?
Just plain luck that Oliver Cromwell was called Oliver Cromwell and not Toyota Hiace..
Paris, because it's another silly name...
Maybe it's just me, but...
I think her old name had quite a ring to it.
I am always on the lookout for,...
Micheal Hunt and Wayne Kerr, I am convinced that some parent somewhere must have slipped up and forgotten to sanity check the kids name.
as someone who has an odd name (yes, back in the 70s when i was named Liam was a very rare name apart from our potato eating cousins) i wont even go into my second name - suffice to say that only me, mum and dad share this surname even in our family! there isnt even another one in my county!
as a kid i was constantly called Ian, Leon etc... people even assuming i had a speech impediment and even when asked what my name was i was constantly ignored and called ian anway lol
so, as you can guess i hate stupid names for kids... makes life really hard for em... of course its not so bad now as names are much more varied... but when i was a kid they were all steve, richard etc... of course my kid will be called han solo boba fett <mysurname> :)
my fave names ive found on the net have been:
rusty cuntz (from pitsbug steelers)
ginger minge (from a year book)
you would never guess both are from the good old U.S. of A. :)
and lets not forget mr 'barclays bank are wankers' (UK) and 'mrs prozack' (USA)
i also knew a bloke who changed his name to john thomas - he didnt even know that its another name for a cock until i told him! doh!
@ "Alistair Darling.....How embarrising" - i always think of blackadder goes forth... 'oh come on darling' - quality :). the fact that the new darling also looks like a freakish thunderbird makes it even more amusing... maybe virgil darling wuold be better!
Perhaps the parents of actor Rip Torn decided on that name after friends convinced them not to go with 'Condom Ripped'.
Re: I am always on the lookout for,...
"Micheal Hunt and Wayne Kerr"
Weeellll, there was a Michael Hunt in the Computer Science department at my old university (and he insisted people called him Mike ... dear, oh dear) and the current[*] editor of the 'Beano' is none other than Euan Kerr - the latter case is probably a good example of a fine, Scottish name but even so, what were his parents thinking?!
[*] - current as in 'the last time I bothered to look'
Didn't Scott McNealy (of Sun fame) call his firstborn "Maverick" ?
As for the Frogs they're less fussy these days (EU rules do have some advantages) but my favourite story there is about the folks in the French overseas territories (DOM/TOM) who wanted to choose a suitable French name for their newborn, but didn't know any. A friend recommended picking the name of the Saint from the day the child was born, so they looked at a calendar and did so. Child was born on July 14th, and so got named Fête Nat ...
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