Hours after Tory leader David Cameron told the world that someone had nicked his bicycle, the much-discussed two-wheeler has turned up on eBay. Or so it seems. "This bike is not exactly new but it is nearly new because it has only been used for a couple of photo-opportunities," says the anonymous huckster offering Cameron's …
And who said comedy was only for the pros. Pravo.
It would appear that Mr Cameron has become a victim of the new, improved, lowered crime rate. The fact he has reported it but "isn't holding his breath" says everything you need to know!
Mines the one with the D-lock and ballot paper in the pocket!
"I'm not holding my breath."
Crime of century solved
Norman Tebbit stole it to help himself a job
Wish It Would Catch On!
I wish the other political parasite called Brown would take up cycling to work. If he did then it's just possible that he might have his premiership cancelled sooner than he might have liked, with all those motorists keen to get his name pencilled onto the score card on the front wing.
Paris because I'd like to give her a ride.
now thats ...
FUNNY as F**K !!!!!!!!!
What a beautiful world...
it is, when a stolen bike has to be news of national importance. Here in the barbarous lands of Dutchland it rarely gets past the regional bulletins. Cheers to the fellow who felt exposing this major fraud, though.
Mine's the one with the concealed bolt-cutter <.<
Quick we need some knee jerk laws
Well he could do the NuLabour thing, make all bikes have ID cards, make crimes for not having your bike's ID card at all times. Create a division of the police specializing in random checking of bike IDs. Make a lot of speeches about how terrorists use bikes without ID.
Or perhaps a number plate, ANPR for bikes, CCTVs on bike lanes. An ID check for you, whenever you buy a bike. Annual checkups for people who sell bikes, perhaps a written test on bike law every 5 years on bike law.
Compulsory insurance for the bikes, a database of the insurance for the bike so the police can detect and arrest these insurance evading bike criminals. Perhaps confiscation powers, 'denying criminals the use of the roads' as ACPO puts it. Link up the database so that Inland Revenue can snatch bikes if tax is owed. Perhaps a Commissioner for bike funded by a bike tax.
Yeh, ACPO and NuLabour thinking... impressive.
Or have more bike racks and fewer bad locks perhaps.
That - made me laugh.
As a anti-tory but a fellow cyclist, I sympathise with him - but it is probably par for the course for someone like him in the public eye.
Our great leaders...
Can't even secure their own property...
I have been cycling in london as a way of getting about since I was 14. I'm about to turn 29, so that's 15 years. Nearly ten of those years I was a despatch rider. In all that time I have had one bicycle stolen, that was when I was 14, and it was from a friends garden where I left it unlocked. That taught me my lesson, and from the first day of owning my new bike onwards, whenever I wasn't on it it was either locked to something, or inside my house. Simple. An effective lock costs ~£50. Replace your quick release on the wheels with security skewers that require an alan key, for £10, or for a touch more you can get ones that have a five sided alan key that they come with. Always lock your bike to something metal that is set in the ground, and which the lock can't be lifted over the top of (as they can be with many types of street signs on posts). A welded link chain provides as much security as a D lock, and you can get it round more things.
It will be interesting to see if Mr Cameron repeats his error, like the great buffoon Boris (don't blame me, I didn't vote for him, he's had 7 bikes nicked) Johnson. Yes, one of my reasons for not voting for Boris (besides the fact that he's incompetent and a racist) is that he has had 7 bikes stolen. If, after the first loss, you don't step up your security measures significantly, then you are failing to recognise the problem, if after the third one, you still don't see what the problem is you are clearly mentally retarded, and shouldn't be allowed out without the constant supervision of a responsible adult. The problem isn't the scallys that nick the bike, the problem is you and the choices you make about how to secure your property. But hey, let's just trust these people with guiding our city and our country, right? (Yes, I know Cameron isn't part of the elected government, but there are those who would elect him, so...)
Cordless angle grinder, more effective, more versatile and more fun. I believe the Dutch police or whoever are repsonsible use them for removing illegally parked or unsafe bikes.
@Dominic van Berk
>Here in the barbarous lands of Dutchland it rarely gets past the regional bulletins.
That's because the chain is more valuable than most bikes.
"I'm not holding my breath"
Of course not, then he might turn blue. Couldn't have that from a modern Tory could we?
Paris - 'cos she turned blue once or twice.
"A kind of reverie overtakes the Tory leader as he rides his "old friend.""
Look....just because that sort of stuff goes on in politics, doesn't mean we need to hear about it!
I give it half a day...
...before it gets pulled and the perp has his account cancelled. At least, that's what happened to my mate who tried to sell the Child Benefit database on Fleabay.
No sensayuma, does guys.
He was shopping in Tesco!
Is the credit crunch really that bad. I want my Conservative leaders to shop in Waitrose at least.
As for leaning to the right, I thought it was pretty balanced, just like Mr Blair's bike. We all know how many races that won. Hang on, didn't Mr Blair's bike release a book recently?
@Dominic van Berkel
Didn't you flatlanders used to ask German tourists if you could have your grandad's bike back, as the war is over?
(Bikes were requisitioned in Holland, etc in the last war)
-Sincerely, Hertz van Hire ;-)
Cameron the Cretin
He locked his bike on to a 2 foot high bollard and nipped into Tesco for 5 minutes.
LOCKED ON TO A 2 FOOT HIGH BOLLARD
He deserved to have it stolen. I hope he felt like a muppet walking home with his helmet in his hand.
RE: Timothy Slade
I used to cycle in London when I was a stoodie and - surprisingly, given the awful level of the average Londoner's driving ability - survived many years with only one mangled bike (drunken Prosche driver in Kingston!). I did have one bike stolen, but the surprise was by whom. I had left my relatively new racer overnight chained to a nice and convenient bike rack in central Surbiton right under a CCTV camera, so imagine my surprise when I returned the next day to find it gone. Hilariously, the CCTV camera was broken that night - doh! After two months of wasted Police and insurer's time, I was finally informed it had been the local council that had removed it "as it had been abandoned for some time" - a few hours? Turns out, like the traffic wardens et al, the local get-rid-of-abandoned-bikes-and-vehicles service had been privatised, and the company keeping the streets of Surbiton neat and tidy paid a commission to their "agents" for each item they dragged off to the scrapyard. Needless to say, I didn't get my bike back and I didn't get any compensation either. I suggest Big Blue Dave checks with the biggest local crooks - the council.
@ Cameron the Cretin
"He deserved to have it stolen. I hope he felt like a muppet walking home with his helmet in his hand."
More like a wanker I suspect...
Paris, 'cos she knows all about having a helmet in her hand...
The auction's been taken down :o(
@ Mr Larrington
looks like half a day was an over estimation, it already be gone
@ Cameron the Cretin
"I hope he felt like a muppet walking home with his helmet in his hand"
Won't he have just jumped in his chauffer driven limo and shared the back seat with his briefcase home?
Working for a council now, I couldn't possibly comment ;)
Somehow I doubt Messers Cameron and Johnson both lost their steeds to the local authority.
No one seems to have highlighted the fact the he chained it to a 3ft high bollard so the thief simply lifted the bike off the bollard.
Maybe I'm not in a humourous mood but...
How is this funny? Some prat who's put an advert on eBay that is really trying too hard to be funny and witty....? Bloody hell, next you'll be laughing at the Golden Girls...(!!)
If it is the little Chav that nicked it, I hope he gets slammed in jail with the 42 day clause used correctly!
Mmmm.. maybe I am in a humourous mood as it's tickling me if this backfired on the little shit! MwuhahahahahahahAHA!
It's been removed...
maybe eBay is a left-wing site???
just checked it now and the item has been removed...
shame really... I was going to bid on it so I could practice a bit of long dormant pyromania....
Mine is the effects of releasing said dormant pyromania....
anyone got a Screen grab?
ebay has pulled it...
Pushbikes vs London
Welcome to pushbike ownership in London, Dave.
Both me and my missus are onto our second pushbike each, and I'm currently riding my second replacement motorcycle since its two predecessors got nicked over the last few years. We've also been broken into at our last flat, and our neighbours in our current flat got broken into recently also.
I've had little but sarcasm from the police 'force' about the various thefts ... aparently they're busy dealing with 'murders and stuff' according to the desk sargeant I last spoke to.
I vote vigilante action myself. I've had enough, and I will NOT just sit here and take it, and WTF am I supposed to get from the 'victim support line'.
For all the sound honest people I've met in London, the place is still a hotbed of lying thieving scumbags. And thats just the sales people and insurance brokers.
What was the purchase price?
No, the bike I mean ;)
" walking home with his helmet in his hand."
Oh, now that's an image and a half!
There's some environmental responsibility
"he's even been known to ride while a chauffeured car drives just behind him carrying his briefcase and papers."
Get a #$!$!* backpack!!
"The problem isn't the scallys that nick the bike, the problem is you and the choices you make about how to secure your property."
I beg to differ! They damn well are the problem mate.
Make the bollards useful?
So, is there any reason why bollards can not be made with protrusions or something so that they can be used as functional bike- lockable structures? It seems that if the Department of Works (or whoever) is going to make the hassle of digging a hole and concreting it up just to install a bollard, it might as well do double duty, yes? The bicycle sellers don't have that much pressure on the bollard makers, do they?
Bollards are put in place to stop people parking their vehicles there, not to give them something to secure their vehicle to.
Serves the silly tit right.
The Dave & Tone show.
Cameron will almost certainly be our next prime minister so it's a bit concerning that he doesn't know how to secure his bicycle in the middle of a den of thieves let alone take responsibility for the security of a nation.
I guess he can take comfort from the fact that Blair drove through an IT revolution in government while lacking the basic skills to send an email.
Politicians, I shit 'em.
How will he become PM
If he won't ride in the bullet-proof Jag?
Not to be deterred, but the nicked bike has had its bidding resumed.
A solid 1.40 now.
Wonder if they'll do overseas shipping.
Paris 'cause her "bids" go back down as soon as they're taken up...or is that the other way around?
- Leaked screenshots show next Windows kernel to be a perfect 10
- Product round-up Coming clean: Ten cordless vacuum cleaners
- Something for the Weekend, Sir? I need a password to BRAKE? What? No! STOP! Aaaargh!
- Episode 13 BOFH: WHERE did this 'fax-enabled' printer UPGRADE come from?
- Vulture at the Wheel Ford's B-Max: Fiesta-based runaround that goes THUNK