back to article Poker-faced Ballmer explains Google beating plans

When you report annual revenue of $60bn you'd expect Wall St would give a little credit where credit's due. Not take your stock price outside and rough it up. Yet, a pounding it got last Friday from analysts concerned by increasing costs and ongoing losses at Microsoft's online business - MSN, Windows Live, Live Search and …

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Gates Halo

But ... but ...

Where are all of the data supporting the "Google is an evil search monopoly" theories? I swear I just saw some in another El Reg article. How come Ballmer didn't drag any out to convince his investors that there's a war on? Is he stupid? Does their charting program not function?

Oh ... that's right ... Google is not a monopoly.

Live Search just needs to learn how to not suck.

Angel Bill because you don't have an Angel Ballmer, yet. Besides, even if you did, it would look a lot like the Angel Steve, without the near-invisible glasses ...

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Bronze badge

Standard MS solution: throw enough money at it and their version will eventually be almost as good!

It's a little bit like American cars: throw enough fuel into the engine and eventually they go almost as fast as European ones :)

*runs*

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Anonymous Coward

Egads!

Is Mr. Ballsup really that incoherent and unimaginative? That explains a lot.

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Paris Hilton

Another poker analogy

"If you play poker, you have to meet the main pot to be in the game."

If he knows anything about poker, he should also know to fold when you have a losing hand and you can already see that your opponent has a straight flush.

Paris - Because even she doesn't use MS' search engine.

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Ante up?

In other words he's saying MS are gambling and they're whacking up the stakes because they're losing? Is that wise?

There's no need for Microsoft to gild anything. Half their problems are the multiple layers of cheap gold plating on their underlying turds.

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Gates Horns

MS has a search?

Why don't they just focus on making a few great things, rather than try to beat everyone else at games they didn't invent but wish they had. watering down their own image in the process.

Once again failing to innovate, but trying to steal the market from those who did.

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@Ante up?

It goes something like this:

1. Microsoft attempts to buy Yahoo!

2. Ballmer antes up the... ante.

3. Microsoft attempts to buy Google, the universe.

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Thumb Up

@ante up?

"There's no need for Microsoft to gild anything. Half their problems are the multiple layers of cheap gold plating on their underlying turds."

That is without doubt the best analogy of Microsoft I've ever seen. Brilliant!

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Paris Hilton

@ante up?

Or it goes something like this:

1. MS fail to by Yahoo!

2. Ballmer talks some shit and his chin wobbles. (does it? I hope so. Did you know Gordon Brown has a stylist to teach him how to keep his chin(s) still)

3. ????????

4. NO PROFIT!

Paris' chin doesn't wobble

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Jobs Halo

Saturday same time again?

"We are going to have to ante up in a significant way to even be in this game. If you play poker, you have to meet the main pot to be in the game."

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Jobs Horns

Bad idea to call it a 2-horse race when you're distant third, Stevie.

"what Ballmer called a "two-horse race" against Google"

Yes, but isn't *Yahoo!* still the second horse in that supposed two-horse race?

With Microsoft being the 3-legged worn-out old nag that's wandering along in the wrong direction and stopping every now and again to leave some more steaming piles of manure on the ground?

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Matching the pot?

Google's R&D spend for 2007? The first number I found was $2.1B.

Balmer proposes (an increase, we can infer) $1.2 to $1.5B to "remain competitive"?

If I played poker I'd invite Steve *and* the analysts over for a friendly game.

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Happy

Microsoft inovation...

"to demonstrate changes in Live Search that add capabilities such as scrolling down an endless page of search results, rather than having to click through to a new page of results" Awesome. Just awesome. Google will be shaking in their shoes...

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Gates Horns

Imitators not innovators

<quote>Time to deploy demos to divert and confound financial analysts. Ballmer brought on lower-ranking executives to demonstrate changes in Live Search that add capabilities such as scrolling down an endless page of search results, rather than having to click through to a new page of results as you do with Google, </quote>

OH like Google's Picasa.

Wow, Microsoft are imitators, I mean innovators.

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Bronze badge

Brilliant!

"Ballmer brought on lower-ranking executives to demonstrate changes in Live Search that add capabilities such as scrolling down an endless page of search results"

Brilliant idea, now they can charge all their advertising customers more, as they will be able to display all of their adverts "on the first page of results" !!

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why doesn't ms just buy google?

at least this dreary depressing bitch-fest would draw to a close.

Yeah, i know there are practical problems and annoying little anti-trust issues to overcome, but in the interests of sparing us another emBalmering it has to be a good thing.

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