back to article Tesco causes couple condom catastrophe

The pitfalls of online shopping at the Evil Empire were revealed in their full horror to a monogamous South Yorkshire couple, who found 12 Mates condoms added to their Tesco.com shopping list. Lynn Newby discovered the illicit prophylactics in the Favourites list after logging on to the shopping account she shared with boyfriend …

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Coat

So no bonus...

...vouchers for introducing your mates then?

Mine's the one with the foil wrapping

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Anonymous Coward

It is not all about cheating love affairs

a condom makes for a good water storage device, it could save a life in the wilds.

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Paris Hilton

Is that why...

>a condom makes for a good water storage device, it could save a life in the wilds.

...they are available in different flavors?

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Stop

Oh dear lord!

Get a fecking life! It's not like they got sent a dead dog in the delivery, only a packet of rubbers! I've bought sealed pizza's in a well known supermarket, which were supposed to be vegetarian, they had slices of pepperoni on them, I didn't go all Venessa Feltz about it, sI simply went back and asked if I could change them for a proper vege version!

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Coat

* Phew *

I thought this article might balloon out of proportion but you managed to keep it all in the teat.

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Paris Hilton

Typical woman

Paris would have done the same

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Silver badge

Other uses

Keeping water out of a Microwave horn.

Ballon Animals tied to car aerials at weddings

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IT Angle

Promotional?

"pushing the bed balloons as a promotional item" WTF?

Why not something more stylish instead that isn't going to promote accusations of an affair as appears to have happened. I wonder how I could get a free TV like this?

Sarah Bee, i didnt know you wrote articles alongside rejecting my previous posts ;-P

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Paris Hilton

@AC

Chocolate & lemon! :-)

Paris, coz, well erm, you know...

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Joke

It's obvious that.....

....Tesco just rubbered them up the wrong way.

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Sam

Other uses 2

Duct taped over a cars exhaust.

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Alert

her opinion of her husband

.. that he would be stupid enough to incriminate himself by buying condoms using their tesco home delivery service.

... well he married her..

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Stop

Do it

Dump her. Dump her now.

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Ash
Heart

What the hell?

She didn't assume he was going to get her in the sack?

Sounds like the guy's in a shitty relationship anyway, if she's that insecure.

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Hmmmm...

Was this really a mistake my Tesco, or was it a mistake by one of the customers who was playing around on the Tesco website, perhaps looking at some of the forbidden fruit?

Sure, Tesco did give them £100, but they did feature in a national newspaper article.

Is it really possible that this was some kind of mistake at Tesco's end?

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Anonymous Coward

Typical Tesco ..

.. cock-up if you ask me. :))

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Thumb Down

@her opinion of her husband

Boyfriend, not husband, but the point stands. Her opinion must also be pretty poor to immediately assume he's cheating rather than it being a mistake...

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Funnily enough...

... we got a jumbo box of johnnies in our tesco home delivery last week.

Enough to last me four years...

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Paris Hilton

Other Uses 3

+ Hiding ones identity when withdrawing (other peoples) money with shot gun at the local bank.*

+ Biohazard clean up team finger puppets.

+ Stretchy cat toys **

Paris, because she prefers it 'au natural'.

*Just don't cover your whole face though

** Not when worn for intended use.

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Is this some kind of a follow-up

to the "Morgan shows 'light & slippery' fuel-cell car concept" story, or vice versa?

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Thumb Up

Excellent FYC reference in the subtitle!

That is all.

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Tesco have done this before

Tesco have done this before, except last time it really was because the husband was playing away. They made up a story that they'd messed up to cover the husband's infidelity. It is all in the book "Scoring Points:How Tesco Continues to Win Customer Loyalty" by Clive Humby, Terry Hunt, and Tim Phillips.

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Ged
Paris Hilton

linked?

Is this also linked from The Sun?

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Black Helicopters

@jeremy

dude - The Tesco clubcard scheme adds anything you buy on your clubcard to your favourites - not just home delivered stuff. I used to buy my lunch there until the wife told me about this when arguing that I wasn't trying on the diet after seeing my munchies appear on her screen.

Where's my £100?

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Happy

happened to us too...

..only the other week, they sent us a gross (that's 144 for children and foreigners) of Durex Pleasurers instead of 2x cartons of Neapolitan ice cream. Maybe they thought we wanted Haagen-Daaz but decided to straight to the finishing line?

scan of itemised Tesco online bill available on request!

needless to say, I made the wife squirm a bit over it cos she's the one who does the Tesco order :)

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Silver badge

WTF

"which could have cost me my four year long relationship."

So it would have been better if it had been a 1-week long relationship (waiting to become a 4-years one)? Or a 43 years-relationship? Why do /they/ always feel like time is *that* important? She "invested" time, so she wants a return on investment now? You gotta love people who sadministrate their love life as a for-profit organisation.

Btw, she's not the first lady offended by her boyfriend keeping Allott of rubbers Andy.

Prrrfffffffft :-D

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Dead Vulture

They are also good for

Putting over the barrel of your M16 if you're on excercise and are likely to go in water....

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Thumb Down

Is that all the evidence she needs?

He should ditch her, she sounds like a right nutter. If a spurious entry on the clubcard is all it takes for her to assume the worst then there is clearly no trust there. If she was any sort of wife she would assume that he had bought them for a mate or somesuch thing.

Besides, if you are having an affair you never buy the cockwrappers on your credit card, with your clubcard or in a shop local to where you live. What you do is go to a petrol station in the middle of nowhere and buy them with cash.

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Silver badge

Their opinion...

Crikey, jeremy, that was a low blow. Any more of that and you've blown it.

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@Anonymous Coward

"Get a fecking life! It's not like they got sent a dead dog in the delivery, only a packet of rubbers!"

you sir. are a fool sir.

they didn't send anything out. they added the condoms to the purchasers list of favourite items on the website as part of a marketing ruse to try and get people to buy them.

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Coat

Letter of apology

So Leahy wrote them an apologetic letter. Was it in French?

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: What the hell?

I'm guessing they weren't using them since they were in long-term relationship. I think most people would have a bit of a moment of paranoia at the very least.

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Coat

Desert rifle protectors

We all know the proper use for them is to put over the muzzle of your rifle when in desert conditions to avoid sand going down the barrel.

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Unhappy

Party on...

It says a lot that she immediately thought he was cheating rather than planning a "big night in" :-)

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Stop

Loyalty cards.....

Are a bit like phorm really arent they - tracking, remembering & in this case thinking for you - Maybe Im just paranoid but I detest them - horrid little bits of plastic that will never forget you buying the Prep H / Sparrow Cream even if it was for your granny.

Cash is still king & fits very well into the TF hat thanks ;)

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Anonymous Coward

Other uses.

Keeping a matchbox dry.

Storing mobile phones and/or radios that aren't properly sealed against the environment.

However, I'm not completely in favour of the water-carrier notion... Chateau de Spermicide, 2007, sir?

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points, point, points

She accused him of cheating!! if he did buy them from Tesco's the dope would have had to swipe his Clubcard to get them on the favourites in the first place, what would his thought process have been, got condoms, got a bit on the side that my lady know's nothing about..... oh crap nearly forgot my clubcard points... can you swipe my card please... he he he

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Joke

@AC - Oh dear lord

I'm surpirsed you had the energy to type if you are a veggie.

Seriously though, it must be a slow news day if this passes for news but I'd advise the bloke to get shot of her as she sounds like a nut.

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Happy

Sneaky cheaty

Unless of course... SHE'S playing away, got caught out by her Clubcard, and quick as a flash turned the tables on him to cover her own infidelity...!

Women: never trust 'em! :-D

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Coat

(Johnny? We're sorry) won't you *&^" on home (shopping)

Mine's the neatly rolled waterproof.

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Thumb Up

Hold on

It added them to the favorites?

So tesco didn't actually send the item it just added them to the a favorites list...

So in all reality worst case scenario, her fella has merely looked at them while browsing and clicked add to favorite? If they weren't actually sent and paid for then what is the issue, other than she is a nutter and needs to chill out.

But £100 pounds is a nice cheap PR coop.....

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Coat

Man in the family?

Easiest thing is to just not let the wife handle any money or have computer access. Rule of thumb, James, rule of thumb.

/mine's the one with slept-on-the-couch wrinkles.

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Flame

The real story

I think the real story here should be if tesco.com ever get anything right, you order what you want then they send you whatever they have excess inventory of, the only thing that stops them sending dead dogs out is a shortage of dead dogs in the shops. if they had them they'd ship em.

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Maybe he had bought them...

Maybe he had bought them... from Tesco, with his clubcard for the sole purpose of keeping his cock clean while performing anal sex with his girlfriend.

She 'blew' the surprise before he got a chance to.

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Anonymous Coward

@Tawakalna

Very glad to hear you made your wife squirm a bit.

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Black Helicopters

Could be worse...

If we assume that they are not "just covering his embarisement" and this is a real feature of their promotions and favourites this could have worse consequences.

What if they add alcohol to a recovering alcohics list?

Or chocolate to a diabetic, etc?

I'm assuming they couldn't promote ciggies - to potential cancer suffers.

In some circumstances there is no "its for us" excuse possible it might be the final straw in coping with a very difficult situation. Lots of "you promised..." conversations.

It seems very odd adding something they want you to buy to your favourites - which is the list of things you like (or need) to buy. How corporate.

Black Flying Jacket as they are watching you and then making stuff up.

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RW
Flame

"a new member of marketing staff"

We've established that marketers are nothing more than professional liars. Now they demonstrate that they're terminally stupid too.

Maybe they're liars because they're too stupid to distinguish true from false?

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@ AC - Desert Protection

Doesn't really work, if you get contacted and start putting rounds down things tend to get rather heated, and you end up with melted latex all over your bang stick.

Dust covers are issued, at least to Brit Forces who can then save the prophylactics for their proper use, that being comedy hats etc.

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Go

@Sarah Bee

You did that on purpose didn't you?

"Tezza explained that the um, cock-up...."

Go on, admit it. You made a cheap knob gag.

You let one "slip in"....

See, anyone can do it!

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Tom
Heart

What's with all the sexism?

I notice most commenters think the woman was a bitch for accusing the guy. Maybe she had good reason to because he's had affairs before and is generally a bit untrustworthy? Maybe she also knows he's stupid enough to make the kind of mistake that would result in them showing up on the clubcard.

It's hard to care either way, but how about a bit of balance?

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