Perhaps the message should have read:
Dear objects still residing in the socialist union of not so great Britain,
Over the last ten years weve done our utmost to ruin this once great country, weve invaded other countries without justification to try and reduce the price of oil & failed miserably, ruined your retirement opportunities by robbing your pension funds, squandered your inheritance by selling a third of our gold reserves at its lowest price, let criminals run free whilst harassing the innocent thrown away your privacy and worst of all painted the outside lane of the M4 pink so no one can drive along it because were watching you with millions of CCTV cameras.
We'd like to lock up anyone who dosnt drive a pice of shit like a toyota prius or likes to drive at more than 30 miles an hour because that indicates individuality. Weve tried our best to take away this individuality & make everyone including this country come last.
Were sorry that we cant tax you just for reading this response, weve done our very best to tax everything and waste as much as possible by the most inefficient means.
We can of course fix all of this with statistics and a government tsar has been appointed to run a 300 million pound project who we will then reward with a knighthood (oops, we diddnt really mean to say that)
In the meantime, wed like to thank the millions of fools who were taken in hook line and sinker enjoy a good hard kick in the fork having removed the 10p tax rate you so easily sucker to us for.
Now fuck off & dont forget to vote for us again