We know that some of you were rather sceptical about the shocking tale of Kosovan loftdwellers, so let's see what you make of the strange case of the Lithuanian lorry driver and the Banbury garden shed. According to the Telegraph, 25-year-old Kelly Dudley first clocked the squatter wearing blue overalls in the overgrown garden …
A lesson to us all...
Whilst I can completely understand the worry this must have caused to the lady mentioned, even she recognises that the bloke was 'a nice guy' and that she would have taken him on - a bit of extra income for renting the shed, free gardening, free security guard. Hats off to this bloke for just trying to get by, without becoming a criminal!
I for one, welcome our gardening Lithuanian overloads...
I don't have a shed...
But he's welcome to bed down with my dog in his Wendy House / Kennel for sorting out my garden!
(PS: Televisions?? So the shed had electricity, then? Posh...)
Someone give him a job.
Come on, local council, you're missing a perfect opportunity to get a hard-working, honest, proud man in your coucil teams - whether it's cleaning up the road, or maintaining a park or whatever - what a perfect man to have on your team. Arrange him a visa if he doesn't have one already (I assume he has, because it doesn't say his previous job was breaking the law).
Or get the locals to whip round and give him a couple of weeks work gardening in the neighbourhood, enough for a plane ticket home if that's what he wants.
It's just a shame that he was moved on without, it seems, a lot of his possessions (the photos in the paper seem to indicate he left most of the stuff behind).
Shame, shame and shame again, for not finding connections with another El Reg story with Lithuanian motives, the one about Lithuanian firm selling Wifi products named Wilibox (http://www.wilibox.com/). How do you call a shed with Lithuanian living in it? Wilibox :)
For those keeping score (poor sad bastards like me) it is the third lithuanian story in el Reg :) Whoo-hoo :)
Why exactly was she worried about her daughter?
What does anyone (bar like 1 in a million) people want to do with a kid? The totally normal 999,999 people will either
a: want the child to shut up
b: think aww what a lovely child - I hope it all the best
c: Hey check out this tonker truck, when I was traveling from ship to ship long ago I saw many a things, grow up and don't become like me okay kid!
d: What child?
What the hell is wrong with people now days anyway, why do (apparenlty normal) people keep thinking that men want to harm or have sex with their children? In my reasonably lengthed life I'm yet to meet someone who wants to harm or hump real children, (now people that want to hump Fate or Nanoha - that's a different story.)
I mean what gives?
(Making assumptions here though) - what's powering the TV and has he paid for a TV licence?
now this is one hell of a Squatter.
some of my neighbours could take a leaf out of his book, although admittedly they only leave their garden tools in my shed and not their daughters (all well over 20...) with single beds and bidets. probably something i should raise with the old neighbour when i see him.
what an absolute gem of a squatter...
How do I contact him?
I've got a shed, and my back garden needs a bit of attention.
That is a lovely shed
It's a lot nicer than my shed.
My shed has spiders that could be seen on Google Earth.
Friday at last.
If I wasn't an imigrant/passing through on a EEA thingie myself I'd probably make some sort of vague reference to coming over here, taking our jobs, shagging our womenfolk/menfolk (depending on preferences), speaking gobbeltigook, and now even nicking our sheds and doing our gardens. They'll be watching our tellies, reading our newspapers and paying into our pensionfunds next, watch out.
I liked britain back in 1065 before all the bloody foreigners came over.
"He hadn't committed any criminal offences..."
Had he paid his TV license?
...to finding gnomes!
That's the shed?
I took a look at the image on the link and have to admit I was expecting a small, boarded shed type thing, maybe enough for a few spades and tins of screws and the likes - but that looks bloody massive. No wonder he moved in. Bit of find if your homeless I should imagine.
...is the picture on the Telegraph website credited to the Manchester Evening News? Could the local papers not get to Banbury in time?
And more importantly, why am I bothered...you can tell I'm procrastinating on a Friday can't you...?
"He hadn't committed any criminal offences"
He cleared the undergrowth without permission, that's criminal damage for one.
"He hadn't committed any criminal offences"
But everyone else in the country has, so he must be some kind of spy...
Honestly, the police just don't make any effort sometimes - surely those plants were potted out maliciously?
The important question
If he had (2) TV(s), did he pay his TV license? If not, there's your offence!
re : Eh
Possibly your reference to Fate and Nanoha are overly obscure even for RegReaders.
...And do you mean 1st or 3rd series of Nanoha? In the 3rd she's 19 (at least in the anime).
@A lesson to us all...
"I for one, welcome our gardening Lithuanian overloads..."
Overloads? Is he the thin end of the wedge? Are there 'shed loads' more arriving soon...
<ahem> Oh very well...
Wanted - legal immigrant
Free room and board for anyone willing to tidy up my garden.
English speaking non essential, provided you can draw pictures.
Hot 18-30 year old female immigrants preferred.
that shed is huge
I've lived in flats smaller than that!
re:re : Eh
Loli fate is best(s1/2), but healthy Nanoha is better(s3). Although it doesn't matter becouse they only have eyes for each other. The ferret must be destroyed >.>
Season 3 was such a let down I was so hoping for a magical girl/high school yuri romance *sigh*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdkBe_zQRw0 < epic car is epic
All blokes must have a shed (apparently)
> Dudley concluded: "It's an amazing, funny story but it's also very frightening."
Now there goes one woman who's in touch with her feelings - all of them at once.
PS Who said the TVs worked? Maybe he was aiming to fix them up and sell them. He's quite entitled to watch videos without a TV licence.
Why oh Why are people going on about a TV license/criminal offense.
Shout very load about or rapidly encroaching police state, where it's pretty much possible to find an offense to pin on anyone?
He was living in a shed uninvited using the occupants electricity. She didn't complain or he would have been charged. Presumably Ms Dudley has a TV license covering her property. I am sure if there was the slightest hint of him needing a license he would have recieved post from Ross McTaggart or whatever ficticious name is used to scare little old ladies by TV licensing these days.
BTW try explaining to nationals of nearly any country that you have to pay the government to watch TV and they will think you are joking. Then say if they tried that at home there would be a revolution.
@ Luther Blissett
Not sure if that's quite correct, I think you need a licence to operate an appliance which is capable of receiving television signal regardless of your intention to watch said signals. I could be wrong but I'm pretty sury thats the way it is (it's unfair so it's probably right!)
With regard to the TVs
Met a nomad in the Gobi desert who had a fridge. I asked him if he liked it, he said "yes, but it would be better with electricity!".
With the current crop of crap on TV, perhaps their better without electricity. Or perhaps not speaking English helps?
No home for you!
"You are a man, and i have a baby daughter, therefore you must want to rape her. To the streets with you!"
If she hadn't been such a Daily Mail reader, the guy could have been a free and reliable baby-sitter.
Yes, just like that Little Britain sketch. "yurr baby is fine"
Nanoha and Fate aside -
Back in the day people used to pay to have a hermit living at the bottom of the garden, she could of used it as a talking piece at dinner parties (yes I have a hermit at the bottom of my garden, would you like to see it?) Although she's probably too scared to have a dinner party. No other human beings will eat my offspring and blow up!
If she paid her TV license
Wouldn't other TVs on her property be covered as well?
"I liked britain back in 1065 before all the bloody foreigners came over."
Err.... I'm guessing you mean the year before the face off between William the Conqueror, Harold Godwineson and Harald Hadraada?
Weren't the Romans bloody the foreigners too? They invaded Britain in 55/54BC, didn't they?
So trespassing is no longer illegal in the UK? Itinerant students, workers, and tourists can just set up camp in your front yard, eh? Locke's crypt should be tapped to run a turbine - probably power most of Essex.
I feel quite sorry for him. Kudos to him for trying his best in a hard situation - much better than sitting under a bridge drinking white cider.
I sincerely hope he wasn't just moved on by the police and then forgotten about.
@ Abel Lineberger
I'm not exactly sure of the distinction, but there's also "aggravated trespass" which includes things like vandalism, refusing to leave when asked, threatening behaviour etc. - this is very much illegal and arrestable - as far as I'm aware, merely *being* on someone else's property is either legal or de-criminalised (at least in England).
With the TV License
Not being from the UK, I don't know much about the TV licenses. However, I would think that if he had a job where he could have afforded the two TVs he'd have paid the license(s?) then. It was after he lost his job that he moved into the shed.
I could be wrong but presuming she had a TV licence he wouldn't have needed one as one licence covers the whole property.
Child labour gardening!
It seems everyone is missing the more serious issue hidden in the subtext: "He offered to do my gardening for free if I let him stay there. I've got a six-month-old daughter and I might have considered it if I didn't have her."
Darn you underfunded Banbury police constabulary, how many more child labour taskmasters will go unnoticed.
Re: Child labour gardening!
@AC @Luther's licence to watch videos
I read the Act so I was certain - and it was worth it for the pleasure of having the TV man came around. The law may be different now, as detector vans cannot detect TFT LCD screens in operation - but in which of nu labour's 3000 nu laws might it be found?
Maybe the story is that SHE hadn't paid the TV licence, and wasn't insisting the police do much in case they started snooping around a bit more...?
... where's the Playmobil reconstruction?
Coming over here, taking our sheds...
And I thought I *was* the Register / Nanoha demographic. Oh, well. I guess now I'll have to take comfort in being the *gay* Register / Nanoha demographic...
And so were the Damn'd Angles, Saxons, Jutes and Danes. (400ish - 1066)
I have a solution.
Perhaps the poor fellow should get in touch with Arthur Jackson.
I hear that he has two sheds; surely he can spare one!
A series with some of the greatest insert songs about -
It's always nice to be *the* demographic. I'll just have to live with being part of the Reg/Nanoha demographic though.
I met a guy who made a nuclear fusor becouse it looked like Starlight breaker ahh there it is http://uruchai.com/2007/09/17/a-fusor-story funny guy. He's still destrought over the fail that was season 3.
O well it's the weekend - time to drink.
I suspect an Estonian conspiracy here
Lithuanians don't need visas to work in the UK. Not that it stopped them before though.
I'd say this is a lame story as far as Lithuanians are concerned. It completely tarnished the image of cannibalistic criminal alcoholics roaming the EU. I mean what's up with that guy - lost his job, started gardening for free, was co-operative with the police? I'd be relieved to find out that the Telegraph and the police mixed something up and he's in fact an Estonian.
"I put some pot plants out and he even planted them in the garden one day."
And the cops didn't notice her little "homegrown" garden?
Paris, cause she likes a little pot too.
Not 100% sure but I think trespass is a "civil" thing not a "Criminal" thing so I think you can take some action (of some sort) to get some redress but it isn't a "criminal" offence
We'll be back to dominate your Island and then your hot 20 y.o. ladies will beg for a place in my Grandpa's "shed".
I feel sorry for him, he did something in exchange for staying there - he didn't mean any harm!
Maybe she should have gotten another shed. I wonder if she considered the option. Do we know if her friends call her "two sheds"?
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