back to article Rabbit murderer stalks Ruhr Valley

Rabbit owners in the German towns of Witten and Dortmund are living under a pall of fear following the slaughter of 30 animals in a year-long lapine decapitation murder spree. According to the BBC, the animals are always found headless and drained of blood. Seventy-four-year-old Elfriede Dumont explained: "One morning, when I …

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An idea...

Maybe it's time to protect the rabbits by keeping them in home-made underground bunkers...

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Anonymous Coward

A case for Mulder and Scully

Werefox, deffo.

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DNA traces

"a task squad which has to date examined rabbit cadavers for possible DNA traces"

I suspect they'll find that the murderer has floppy ears and a fluffy tail.

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took im long enough

Looks like Elmur Fudd's had enough of being taunted,

i cant belive this made front page news, with the title Rabbit ripper shocks Germany

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Bunnicula

They only logical conclusion is that a Vampire Rabbit is doing these crimes.

In other news...Babs Bunny will play Bunnicula in a movie version - Wer-Rabbits vs Vampire Bunnies...I should stop now.

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Alert

egads!

chupaconejo!!

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Jobs Horns

he's hiding on a small island off the west coast of ireland

.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSkojYN2O-E

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Dead Vulture

I knew it!

***"To add a final twist - and a much-needed IT angle"****

I heard this story on the Today programme. As soon as they mentioned the tenuous IT angle I thought "that'll be in The Register, then".

And where is the Playmobile reconstruction. Couldn't find any bunnies in the Playmobile toybox, or something?

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Coat

Obvious really.

Eventually the perpetrator will get his nefarious plans to work and take over the world with his army of headless, zombie rabbits.

Run for the hills. Okay, hop for the hills then if you must.

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Coat

All they need is...

. the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, with nasty big pointy teeth!

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Satellite Images

"the perpetrator might be using net satellite images to pinpoint hutches."

I wish the satellite imagery available on the net in my area was good enough to pinpoint a rabbit hutch. I can barely see my garage on google maps or live.com mapping.

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Pirate

Surely there's a 'computer game inspired violence' angle...

Given the end screen of the original Doom - decapitated and drained rabbits should all be blamed on those nasty perverted types at Id software! The perpetrator has obviously been playing too much Doom (yes, there is such a thing) for too long.

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Coat

All together now...

Start singing now, Briiight Eeeeeyes...

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Mommy wow! I can speculate too!

".. the perpetrator might be using net satellite images to pinpoint hutches."

He might also be using GPS to get himself to the target. And he might also be using a 3G iPhone to communicate with accomplices. And he might be taking pictures of his victims with a 16 bazillion megapixel camera and uploading them to a central server using a publicly available file sharer. With his wireless broadband. Pretty easy this weak speculation eh?

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Anonymous Coward

@John Latham

> I suspect they'll find that the murderer has floppy ears and a fluffy tail.

Ahh, so this is what Kraut death metal rockers are into in their spare time?

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jai
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re: All together now...

i'd rather sing along to the awesome (and now seemingly prophetic) Moloko track, Killer Bunny

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Tim
Boffin

*Maybe* he's using net satellite imagery...

... or maybe he's following people home from the pet shop. Or if the reg is still pretending there is always an IT angle, maybe he's invented an electronic bunny detector. Who knows?

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Is Glenn Close in Germany filming at the moment?

Maybe she's moved on from simply boiling them......

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Dead Vulture

Bet it's a fox...

I once lived in a second floor flat. The tennants on the ground floor kept a rabbit in the garden, and had a little fenced off run for it, right below my bedroom window.

In the middle of the night we heard the most terrible noise from below. I got up and looked out of the window to see a fox mauling the rabbit.

Shouting at it alerted it to my presence, and it ran off. It being 4 in the morning, and seeing as no-one else appeared to have been woken, I went back to bed.

In the morning, as I was leaving for work, I noticed that the rabbit had been decapitated, and, now that I think about it, there wasn't a lot of blood noticible. Of course, I then knocked on my neighbours door to break the bad news, and to ensure that the rabbit's remains could be desposed of before the little girl who owned it came out to find it sans head.

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Coat

"headless, zombie rabbits"

Shurely "rabbitless, zombie heads"?

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Coat

Sleeping with the fishes

Maybe there is a shortage of horses heads to put in beds and the Mafia are switching to bunnies instead.

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Black Helicopters

Satellite?

I remember something similar in the U.K. a few years back - long before Google Earth and M$ Live wotsit. But it will no doubt be modern tech that is the culprit.

Not sure if the resolution on the public stuff is good enough to spot rabbit hutches - must be some military thang.

Terrorists! spying on honest western citizens and striking at the very heart-strings by declaring a jihad on fluffy bunnies.

Kill the wabbit!

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@ Eponymous Cowherd

"And where is the Playmobile reconstruction. Couldn't find any bunnies in the Playmobile toybox, or something?"

What do you mean *Playmobile reconstruction*? Are you implying that the exclusive photographs regularly (well, semi at least) scooped by El Reg are fake? Granted the people look a little blocky, but using the sort of zoom lenses that would allow them to take such images from far enough away that plod doesn't feel our intrepid journo's collars will do that. I for one applaud the heroic endeavours of said journo, in so reliably capturing such pictures as would never see the light of day otherwise, at no doubt enormous personal risk!

*tsk* next thing you'll be telling me Santa isn't real, Vista is a decent OS, and Optimus Prime didn't destroy Croydon, it was actually built like that!

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Joke

Reminds me...

A guy is sitting watching TV one night, and his dog comes in. Seeing that the dog has something in it's mouth he takes a closer look, and realises that it's a dead rabbit. Fearing the worst, he looks out the window into the neighbour's garden. Yes, the hutch is empty. Oh dear...

He can't face telling the nice kids next door that his dog killed their pet rabbit, and after a while he has a brainwave. The rabbit isn't badly mauled, no sign of doggy toothmarks, and he knows it's quite a few years old. Waiting until it's dark, he tidies the dirt off its fur, sneaks over the fence and puts the rabbit back in the hutch, hoping that they'll assume it just died of old age.

Next morning he's out in the garden when he hears great distress and crying from next door. Swallowing the lump of shame in his throat he looks over the fence, and sees the kids in tears, being comforted by their Dad.

"Oh, is the rabbit dead?", with false concern and guilty smile. "No wonder the kids are upset. They've had it for quite a while, though."

"Yes", says the Dad. "In fact it died last weekend. Because they were a bit sad, we gave it a little funeral, and buried it in the flowerbed. Would you believe some sicko's dug it up and put it back in the hutch?"

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Boffin

Can someone send the Whip over there?

Damn Gangrel are breaking the Masquerade again.

(Boffin icon for the V:tM reference)

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@ Dalen

There is no more Masquerade. In fact, with the new World of Darkness setting, the Masquerade never happened. White Wolf reinvented their stellar role playing setting, and quite beautifully.. I enjoy the new WoD more so than the old.

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Coat

@ Nicholas Ettel

We're in the midst of an NWoD adventure (playing human characters) haven't had an encounter with anything fanged or furry yet but had a few interesting run-ins with demons. Great game.

And of course, as any Fundamentalist can tell you, it's not only video games such as DOOM that cause people to commit heinous acts, NO, it's RPGs - especially satanic ones like [N]WoD, [A]D&D and Call of Cthulu.

I have a water-tight alibi for the times of the bunny decollations (being here in NZ) and I can account for my wife's whereabouts but I'll subtly question our other fellow players as to whether any of them have visited Germany recently...

Mine's the black leather trenchcoat with the vial of Holy Water in the pocket...

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Happy

Prime Suspect

Seriously are the local police that dense. Shouldn't they be looking for a short bald man who regularly wears a hunting cap with ear flaps.

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Alien

pet shop store

Detect rabbit hutches via satellite pictures ?

That's absurd , from they sky might as well be bird cages.

If I were them I'd check out the pet shop store first, odds are that the owner knows all of the victim's owners and is therefor the prime suspect.

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@ Louis

Chuckle! Gold star for the astute observation about Croydon.

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brings back memories

About four years ago, I found my pure white adult rabbit, headless in the garden, it had been a warm night and she had gone to sleep behind a fence as she used to, she was where I last saw her, but she was headless, however there was no blood at all, not a drop, I thought this was very strange, however put it down to a fox although I know that a fox would not take the head and leave the body.

This story in Germany brought it all back, and of course my rabbit being white, was very easy to see that there was no blood on her fur, not even around the wound.

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Joke

We all know rabbits are very excitable

...and quite prone to completely losing their heads.

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do not give your rabbit a tv

they can track you..

tvla strikes again.

probably turned in by the foxes..

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