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Mini-Me sues online celebrity muckraker over 'stolen' sex tape

Stuart Bevan

How do these tapes go missing? 

Stop

I've often wondered how tapes such as these go missing. You'd think folk would be fairly shrewd in hiding them.

Steven Raith

Mash up? 

One Night in Mini-Me?

*shudders*

Steven R

Mycho

No it doesn't 

It raises the question.

lansalot

Hmmm. 

Go

I doubt Mr Troyer will have a leg to stand on...

... wait a minute - that's not his leg !!!

Anonymous Coward

Pint sized! 

Stop

Depending on how accommodating she is he may not use his willie at all.

Chris W

Powers' Pint-size Prick Porks Plaything 

I can imagine (I haven't seen it so can't say for sure) how a Paris Hilton tape might generate some income but even allowing for the enormity of human diversity there is no way this tape could generate 20 million dollars.

Jerry

Stage Managed 

Stop

I've actually seen an excerpt of said video and to my mind it's pretty obvious this is a stage managed 'schlock horror' publicity stunt.

Principal incriminating fact is there is a third party involved who pans the camera as required, independent of the actors.

Either they hired someone to film their varied orifice slurping for private consumption, or this was a planned setup to try and gain a few milliseconds of world fame.

Given the history of Paris Hilton who hawked her own video for all it was worth, I'm inclined to believe this also is a deliberate own-goal.

GrahamT

"the 2 foot, 8-inch actor" 

Coat

To paraphrase Mae West:

"Nevermind the two foot, show me the eight-inches"

(was the comma really necessary after foot, or was it to provoke this type of comment?)

Pete James

@Stuart Bevan 

There's a couple of theories on this, and all have some foundation.

A lot of personal assistants to stars (or so-called stars depending on your opinion) get given things to hold in safe-keeping. Sort of "Here, put this somewhere safe" kind of task. Why on earth they can't do it themselves Lord knows, especially something so personal, but there's a lot of videos and pics that never see the light of a lot more intimate stuff between rich and famous types. But as a lot of these PA folk are loyal to their bosses and want to stay in a job, they don't go punting trash round the press/web.

The sheer number of friends and hangers-on that come and go makes it a bit difficult to keep private stuff always hidden and things do get pinched on a regular basis from yer average celebs home.

The Celeb sex tapes genre is not seen so much as a career-ending scandal anymore - more in some case as career enhacing. Again, twisted thinking if you ask me but there are a few cases where this did give some people a head (ahem!) of steam in their work.

amanfromMars

Cynical Shakedowns ...... 

"I've often wondered how tapes such as these go missing. You'd think folk would be fairly shrewd in hiding them." ..... By Stuart Bevan Posted Monday 30th June 2008 09:54 GMT

Oh please, Stuart, how are you to make money from anything/nothing useful/smut, if it is hidden.

Bickus Dickus

XXXtra ordinary 

Thumb Up

Mini-Me becomes Mega-Me. Porn star extraordinaire. The biggest little porn star in the business (wink wink nudge nudge to Rhode Island).

Not since Voltron has someone risen to the occasion.

Anonymous Coward

Mini Me tapes goes missing and show up on a website 

It appears evil super villians must use the same courier services as the British goverment......

Anonymous John

Tapes? How very 20th Century. 

Why not DVDs or hard disk?

Aitor

Missing? Stolen!! 

Most people have domestic services, this is, pleople who clean your house.

If they know you are famous, they might look at your tapes searching for gold....

JP Sistenich

@ Steven R: Even worse... 

Stop

Mini-Me in Paris...

Anonymous Coward

Too late 

Paris Hilton

The Streisand Effect will ensure this sex tape is available somewhere on the net for decades to come.

Paris icon, because she started the fad of leaking sex tapes.

Anonymous Coward

2 Foot, 8 Inches 

Thumb Down

That's a pretty good ratio for such a small guy! He just about would be a tripod...

Also, if I was going for a lawsuit of this style it would be "$20M, all of the copies the defendant has made and 100% of any money that is made from them. Or $100 per freely distributed/ "lost" "backup" copy." Just to make sure it didn't go missing again.

@Stuart Bevan

They get sent to one of the owner's other houses/new house using the TNT courier service. They're pretty adept at "losing" CDs...

Alternatively his partner in what is surely now a crime (he's almost childlike so it's probably covered by appropriate Brownian UK laws...) could have leaked them- sent them to a friend to say "seriously, he IS a tripod" or assert that he isn't.

Alternatively it could have been nicked.

Putting videos like this on the 'net is bloody awful. If they want to show themselves off then they should be able to do it on their own terms.

Alexander Holland

Tax right off 

Are payments tax deductible? Pay $20M to the government or to a mate via a lawsuit?

Anonymous Coward

I Wonder 

Coat

If that sort of thing is classed as extreme porn over here in the UK?

Dan

2 foot, 8 inch... 

Coat

Is that 2 different measurements, or just the one?

Mine's the dirty mac...

Joe K

Piss off 

The 1st Austin was highly overrated, the sequels though get better as they go on.

Anonymous Coward

MIssing Tapes 

Paris Hilton

Tapes go missing because they are left in VCR's, Camcorders and on computers connected to P2P's, when their "users" use the Freudian slip and let someone else "see" them....

Paris because she likes the mini me

Anonymous Coward

Size isn't important ... 

It's how much in damages he'll get if the lawsuit succeeds

Rick

question 

Paris Hilton

Which begs the question: what price for a mash-up? for mini-me probably a really short stack! as for Paris thats a hot topic!

ben edwards

Tripod? 

Only would be a tripod if he wasn't surrounded by poontang, and at his height he's at natural see/smell level for most average women.

Rick

I think we need some pictures of this 

Go

REG could you possibly dig up some exclusives for us? or some re-enactment ones?

Andrew Tyler

Can't wait to see it... 

Paris Hilton

I will be searching Youporn daily (er...), until I find it.

Steve

For those wanting pictures... 

Paris Hilton

Could El Reg knock up some Playmobil reconstructions? I can see problems with a Playmobil "Paris - Mini Me mashup" though as all the figures are the same size...still, should give you something to do in the lunch hour.

Paris, because she'd be up for a filmed mash up with mini-me if it'll raise a few quid.

Better tie a plank sideways across mini me's arse in case he falls in!

Pasanonic

It would have been so much funnier 

Joke

if he had simply demanded ..."ONE MILLION DOLLARS"

Paul Stephenson

@Steve 

I'm sure a legoman would be adequate for mini-me, compared to playmobil figures. :)

Sarah Bee

sigh 

(Written by Reg staff)

Yeah, that's right! Because, like, he's really small! LOL!

Sometimes, I read the stories on the Reg concerning threats to humanity immediate and distant, and feel a strange, unaccountable warm glow.

Anonymous Coward

Liberal arts ftw 

Dead Vulture

"Yeah, that's right! Because, like, he's really small! LOL!"

Yeah, we mustn't joke about things that are inherently funny, even if the person in question makes a career from people laughing at his height.

We must all be more liberal because that's RIGHT, mmmkay?

"Sometimes, I read the stories on the Reg concerning threats to humanity immediate and distant, and feel a strange, unaccountable warm glow."

Sometimes I think Douglas Adams had it right with the B-ark.

Sarah Bee

Re: Liberal arts ftw 

(Written by Reg staff)

Quiet you, or I'll tell everyone your name (wow, I bet you hate your parents).

Andrew Langhorn

Ooh - a family feud... 

Coat

Read the posts above me - one by a coward, the other by Sarah Bee. Sarah must have kids and the coward must be her child.

And, yes - El Reg, a photo exclusive pleasasaaaase?!?

AJ