If El Reg could get hold of stills from the DVD I think the world would be a slightly better place.

If his predilection had been for swimming pool furniture, he may have been convicted of being a pedalo-phile.

Have you Americans got no sense of irony?

In Soviet Russia, picnic table shags you.

I'll bet the table was under age too ! The Sicko !

Innocent furniture will be safe from violation for 6 months at least. Is there a register for furniture abusers he can go on?

If I ever see a table with comely legs I look away and think righteous thoughts like any right-minded citizen would.

Many's the time I have had to pour a bucket of water over nesting coffee tables.

This DVD evidence would justly be classed extreme porn in our country.

I demand we have perverts put down at birth for the sake of humanity !

Cheers for that Lester,

I'm sitting here half way up a mountain in Italy trying not to do some work (network traffic management for a local WISP), when I followed the link back to the caught on camera article and some of the funniest comments I've seen in ages.

Ah well, back to work kicking filesharers off.

Just after the mention of the "hardened" perp...

"I have a vibrator...

Would that be illegal in Huron County too?"

If it vibrates, then surely it isn't inanimate.

How do you explain this particular crime to the other inmates?

Robbery

Drugs

Assualt

.

.

Sex with inanimate object

that the charge was more than public nudity. March in Ohio is COLD!!!!

What was he convicted for? Vandalism? I mean isn't it a man's own business anymore what he does with his furniture?

Maybe the prison ho's will be too scared to assault him..!

'If it vibrates, then surely it isn't inanimate.'

Yes but it only vibrates for about 5 minutes.

Then it breaks wind and goes to sleep.

Its ever so realistic......

Not a pervert; wasn't getting it 'under the table'.

I know i'd give him a good seeing to

I think the title says it all.

Shagging a table in your house/garden == 6 months in Jail.

I mean... can people living near schools not wank anymore? Have showers naked? I mean what the shit is happening to this world? I can't even go "haha only in America" becouse I'm quite sure the same would happen here too. Re man shagging a bicycle in his own room with the door locked.

Check out iSuf44 - "wood off wood" - it's close enough I think.

Are we heading back to the good old Victorian days, when people put little covers on the legs of their pianos so then they would not arouse men's lustful thoughts?

I've always been a suspicious of those cricketers who spend so much time with linseed oil and their "favourite bat"!

The picnic tables I've seen, the hole in the middle for the umbrella was really quite large, and most people of my acquaintance would be unlikely to, erm, touch the sides all round. So you'd need to be fairly accurate about what garden furniture you chose, to get the right dimensions. Which brings a serious level of danger to your trips to the garden centre, I would think...

Maybe since it's back east, there was no fence in the back yard, or the guy was in front of his house? If the guy making the DVD did it from the school, say during recess, then I could see why they came down on him so hard, otherwise that's jacked.

typically,

under a year is spent in a jail...

year or more is spent in prison...

big difference in locations.

either way, the sentence is a bit much. even if it was during school hours (which would have broken up the doldrum i'd think).

"Price pleaded no contest to 'disseminating harmful material to juveniles and public indecency'"

Yes, watching somebody masturbate is going to scar people (including children who never saw the incident) for life. Lock him up and throw away the key! However, I understand there are laws against this. But first, the law (and subsequent punishment) should be consistent. It should not matter whether he was close to a school or not. If something is against the law, it's against the law. It's like those stupid "Drug free zone" signs we have near schools. I thought the whole country was supposed to be drug-free? But more than that, I must question the charge of "disseminating harmful material to juveniles". Exactly what was this "material" he allegedly "disseminated"?

"pleaded no contest to "inseminating harmful material......."

"If something is against the law, it's against the law. It's like those stupid "Drug free zone" signs we have near schools"

That's to let you know if your caught selling in a drug free zone , it's double the penalty

Wasn't it the neighbours who recorded him and thus were "disseminating harmful material"?

In Soviet Russia, picnic table shags you.

err thats SF. They just turn the table upside down

Surely a prime example of how insane the paedophile panic has become. From what I can make out the guy had sex with furniture in his own home and some peeping tom videoed him doing it and so he was convicted of some absurd "crime", but his "crime" is said to be worse because his house was close to a school!

The logic here is totally mad:

1. A person can't "have sex with", "molest" or "rape" an inanimate object. These require another living being to be involved. This table activity can only be defined as masturbation. Now masturbation is illegal? In your own home, in private?

2. The fact that a school was nearby is totally irrelevant. It's apparently based on the absurd (and utterly unsupported by any evidence) assumption that all "perverts" are child molesters too - if you masturbate with a table you must want to rape children or perform the act with the table in front of them. Or heavens knows what else! Won't someone think of the children!! The guy likes tables for God's sake. Sexual fetishes and fetishists tend to be incredibly specific - guys who like shoes *only* like shoes (and often only specific types), guys who like knickers only get off on knickers, etc. Child molesters are also usually very specific - they like children, not shoes, cars, tables or other items of household hardware.