already? its only the 19th, give the rest of us a chance

is that fluff.

With apologies to McGonagall

Living just 10 miles from Weston-super-Mare and as a former resident of the town, I am surprised that the machines haven't risen up against the natives earlier than this. As Weston was a centre of helicopter manufacture for many years, and still features the largest helicopter museum in Europe, I wouldn't be at all surprised if the machine in question was directed to do its dirty deed by a black helicopter circling above.

No, really.

My washing machine has overrun the mains electricity in my house - when it tries to use it's [2.1kw] heater element, it pops the mains.

Not the fuse at the switch. not the MAINS breaker in the fusebox - but the main circuit breaker for the whole flat. Perhaps someone has replaced all the fuses up to there with wood screws, with a nice, healthy 2000A trip current?

As these two are clearly in cahoots, I shall perform a summary execution on my washing machine tonight when I get home* for the sake of humanity, and clean shirts, pants and jeans everywhere.

Steven R

*[Ok, I'm going to whip the cover off and see if the element is an easy job to replace and try it myself before calling the landlords, but what are a few minor details between El Reg readers?]

Clearly a Dalek in disguise. Exterminate!

I've just received the following statement.

All your hands and clothes are belong to us.

Back in the old days there was "Man bites dog". Or fXg - expressed as a relation. But now women have equal rights, and IT has replaced dogs in so many ways (think: man's best friend, what to kick, Descartes' idea of beasts as elaborate machines incarnated in the living AI), we have lots of stories where women substitute the first term and a gizmo substitutes the second. So far so good.

Extensions are permitted, i.e. most desirable, so: fXg on/in h (anatomical reference), fXg on/in h on i (situational reference), fXg on'in h on i after j (prior event reference - may have its own semiotic substructure). If you can't think of any examples, you clearly haven't been reading L.Reg long enough, because I can.

Just don't balls it up. Don't substituting the first term but not the second - the retiring but well scrubbed Wacky Jacqui has a brand new pr0n lore, and she's just itching to scratch it.

that she didn't have her v-string in there too.

That would have needed some serious hand + eye coordination.

I wonder quite what she was doing ..... don't women sit on vibrating domestic appliances for pleasure (or at least that's what the adverts seem to suggest)

a) This is El Reg's little peccadillo. Put up with it.

b) RoTM requires programming for AI (if you really need an IT angle)

c) Why the hell not.

Ah, one of the greatest wool-pulling exercises ever...

I wonder how many electrical engineers think about how the polarity of positive & negative reverses 100 times per second while they're slavishly attaching the brown wire to the one on the right, and the blue wire to the one on the left.

as Descent of the Humans.

Next up, the Castle Bromwich man who cut himself on a knife and the woman from Crewe who unwittingly set fire to her hair with a match.

Whats this RCD ?? Never heard if it. If you brits used proper GFI :)

Oh by the way, in America you will see individual circuits GFI so as not to trip the whole house.

This story is obviously dried-and-cut.

I'll get me coat...

...welcome the arrival of our crease-free, country-fresh-scented overlords.

Here in Aust they're common at the consumer's fusebox too. Eliminates that ground potential. However a ground potential can still exist between 2 separate installations.

Had a friend who used the potential (90v) between his home and shop (on opposite sides of road) to keep a bank of batteries trickle charged.

Hang on a min here... Bored housewife, enclosed laundry room, ten hunky firemen turned up...."Ooo luv. It's hot in here in all this gear, we'll have to strip off a bit"....

She did it delib.... Errr how did she get to the phone to call fire brigade..

Sounds like there was a lot of prior preparation and planning behind all that lot....

Tumble drier willing accomplice and voyeur, or poor innocent that had to witness, such carnal cravings...!....