Bloke finds illegal immigrants living in loft
Dave Harris
Such a reliable source #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 12:26 GMT

It was in the Sun, so it must be true.
Paris, cos even she'd question the provenance of this story ( even if she can't spell it)
Anonymous Coward
Has this been checked... #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 12:26 GMT
I ask because it doesn't sound very believable, i.e. immigrants knocking through the wall in the roof space and then living there, and nobody notices till he looks in the roof.... he quotes the police, the paper doesn't quote the police.... etc.
Sounds more like somebody dreamt up a story to get some money from gullible newspapers.
debaser
class act #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 12:26 GMT

"I'd heard babies crying but found it strange because there weren't any babies in the terrace. It never occurred to me to look in the loft hatch and see what the hell was going on; I was afterall busy on my crackpipe most of the time"
Alex
mark my wurds!! #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 12:26 GMT
they wil b campin in you're socks draw before chrismas!!! o wait i forgot its winterval now cause of pc gone mad!!!!! why wont Bordom Clown get the mesage and ban imiggrants?!?? cos hed hav too go bak to i bet.
tru_patriot
Tom
What he needed was... #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 12:26 GMT

To smoke more weed, then every time he heard a noise he'd have been up there looking for burglars in the middle of the night.
Either that or he'd be dead if he'd been at these new lethal strains knocking around...
Pavlovs well trained dog
why terrified #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 12:26 GMT
am I missing something here. A group of people, desperate to remain hidden and unseen are highly unlikely to be a physical threat..
ok, so they're adding a 60w light bulb's drain to your power bill, and maybe some water.
but terrified?
bothwell
the previous tenant #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 12:26 GMT

She explained: "I'd heard babies crying but found it strange because there weren't any babies in the terrace."
This is such an awesome quote. I mean, what did she think it was? Poltergeists? Maybe she thought she was going mad. There is a whole sub-story in there that is actually even more interesting than the original!
Anonymous Coward
Good to see a speedy response from Plod #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 12:26 GMT
20 Minutes, a bit lucky they weren't violent or anything then.
Chris G
History is cyclic #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 12:26 GMT
I remember an almost identical story from the seventies, only then it was Asian immigrants. The shame here is not the immigrants living there but the unscrupulous landlords who take advantage of them. Who , often are their countrymen.
JP Sistenich
Copycats... #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 13:44 GMT
They read the story about that Japanese woman and tried to one-up her by having a whole family...
Michael O'Malley
Kosovans? #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 13:44 GMT
Since the attic campers had decamped, how could police deduce they were Kosovan?
Kosovans as a group are not known to squat in attics. I understand that most people in Kosovo live in their own houses (at least in the ones remaining undemolished by Serbs). They do not show a special liking for other people's under-roof areas.
It sounds like the kind of factoid added to a fake immigrant story to give it an appearance of credibility.
steogede
Illegal Immigrants #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 13:44 GMT

>> police think they're illegal Kosovan immigrants
Based on what evidence? They could be hard up immigrants from any number of countries - I didn't think there were many Kosovans coming to the UK these days.
The most interesting thing about this story are the number of different versions their are. Some say the guy was renting the house, others say he had bought it, still more say it was an empty house which he was looking around. Also some stories say he phoned 999 right away, others say 'he returned home' and phoned the police.
Dan
What?! #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 13:44 GMT

"they wil b campin in you're socks draw before chrismas!!! o wait i forgot its winterval now cause of pc gone mad!!!!! why wont Bordom Clown get the mesage and ban imiggrants?!?? cos hed hav too go bak to i bet.
tru_patriot"
Eh?! Did you say something? Most immigrants have a better grasp of English than yourself, you illiterate cretin.
Law
hang on.... #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 13:47 GMT

Where the hell did they take a p*ss?? Dirty nappies for the baby too?? Surely they wouldn't climb through the empty house every time they needed to go... :(
Mines the waterproof one for the shower room....
Sir Runcible Spoon
@Dan #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 14:33 GMT

I think you've been twat-o-tron-itted. :D
Tetsugaku-San
come on.. #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 16:19 GMT

"I'd heard babies crying but found it strange because there weren't any babies in the terrace"
Fuck wit.
Alan White
What?! #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 16:19 GMT
"Eh?! Did you say something? Most immigrants have a better grasp of English than yourself, you illiterate cretin."
I don't normally do this, but...
*applauds*
Anonymous Coward
@Dan #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 16:19 GMT
Oh dear, someone hasn't read the relevant article (linked in the story...)
Tony
Errrm #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 16:19 GMT

Wonder how they upgraded the ceiling joists and put in floor boards enough to support 12 bodies ???
I bet cooking, washing and (like a previous poster said) taking a leak was tricky. No all nighters either !!
This story has to be b*llocks!
Paris: 'cos she definitely can recognise b*llocks.
Robin Thompson
This reminds me... #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 16:19 GMT
of a story a friend told me, who was a police commmunity support officer. She, with some colleagues, was asked to go to a house where the council tenant was convinced there were Iraqi illegal immigrants living in his loft. When they checked, there were no immigrants - but a complete cannabis factory. The officers suspect he had consumed rather too much of his own produce. Needless to say, he was booked...
Mr Smin
@Law #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 16:19 GMT
I had the idea that they had the full use of one house but added extra space by annexing neighbouring lofts - that would mean they had a bathroom and kitchen, albeit with a bit of a queue.
Overall, the story sounds like bollocks though.
Harry
@Dan #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 16:19 GMT

I READ THAT THE BRITISH SHEEPLE ARE TAKING OUR COUNTRY AWAY FROM US BECAUSE THEY HATE THE BRITISH PEOPLE. COME ON ELECT BORIS JOHNSON AS PRIME MINISTER. WHOS FAULT IS THAT?!?!
Mad as hell at PC Goons ENGLISH AND PROUD
Anonymous Coward
Untidy #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 16:19 GMT
I'm not big on housecleaning but at least I don't have strange families taking up residence in the attic. Talk about yer dustbunnies!
Steven
If I'd bought the house... #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 16:33 GMT

... I'd be having a f**king word with the surveyor about that.
"Yes the electrics could really do with replacing but other than that the construction is sound...."
Except for the slight exception that the entire firebreak has been removed from the loft space and you've got some illegals camping in the loft!!!
lol :)
kain preacher
Drugs are involed #
Posted Friday 13th June 2008 20:32 GMT
By the writer of the article if he expects us to believe it.
On the off hand its true(checks the temperature of hell) The person living there would have to be stoned out of their mind every day. In which case why didn't the police arrest the owner of the loft ??
I'd would believe a sales person when they say trust me before I'd believe this story.
Anonymous Coward
Why ... #
Posted Saturday 14th June 2008 00:47 GMT
Didn't he just charge them rent?
Anonymous Coward
The way I see it #
Posted Saturday 14th June 2008 00:47 GMT

I call "urban myth" on this one. You're always going to get homeless living anywhere they can; even a closet in Japan.
Even penguins got to have a place to live.
ian
If it were Liverpool #
Posted Saturday 14th June 2008 09:41 GMT
...It would have been the Irish (in times gone by). Except they would'na been illegal. Otherwise it would be roof rats.
B.Shaw
Tech angle? #
Posted Saturday 14th June 2008 09:41 GMT
Maybe the Kosovoan squatters had a invisibility cloak?
Steen Hive
@Michael O'Malley #
Posted Saturday 14th June 2008 17:26 GMT

"Kosovans as a group are not known to squat in attics. I understand that most people in Kosovo live in their own houses (at least in the ones remaining undemolished by Serbs). They do not show a special liking for other people's under-roof areas."
Er.. how do you know they weren't Serbs? Most people fleeing Kosovo are Serbs, after all. On the other hand, Albanians have a recently-proven track-record of illegal immigration followed by seizure of power and secession. I wonder if the gutless UK in a fit of realpolitik will subsequently recognize West Bromwich as an independent state?
Anonymous Coward
ANGRY #
Posted Saturday 14th June 2008 17:26 GMT

WHEN WILL PEOPLE REALISE THAT CRIMINAL GANGS ARE TOO NAMBY PAMBY. TRUE PATRIOTS MUST CLOSE THE BORDERS NOW.
Martin Usher
Non-Londoners Read On.... #
Posted Sunday 15th June 2008 01:26 GMT
London housing is different from that in most parts of the country because the fire regulations require that the party walls between houses are thick and go up above the roof line. In many parts of the country attics are continuous between semis and terraces so you can go between you and your neighbors' houses through the loft.
Its weird the first time you see this but as the attics are not used for anything in particular -- the ceiling joists are normally too thin to stand on -- you don't go up there much. What it also means is that if someone is using the loft as an overflow space -- got some boards down, access through wall hatch rather than a ceiling hatch, then you'll see and hear them from several doors away.
As for speculation about who they were, they left stuff behind. So I'll give this one a 'plausible'.
Ben
Ha ha ha ha ha ha #
Posted Sunday 15th June 2008 01:28 GMT

Man this thread as good as the News Quiz ......ha ha ha ha .
Anyway , only this morning i discovered a pair of Surinamese hash smugglers
huddled in my teapot , they reckoned they hadn't seen the Sun for weeks ......they were a bit swarthy but we worked out a fair exchange and they just sit in there most nights watching "Alo Presidente" on a tiny television and banging on about "a bunch of Counts" or something ......
dodgyedgy
So they were living ABOVE an empty house? #
Posted Monday 16th June 2008 03:50 GMT

Errr. Ok
Its those naughty illegal immigrants, breathing our air, looking dark and swarthy! And breeding no less!
I particularly enjoyed the way this story made them look even more stupid. Living in a loft ABOVE an empty house. Of course they were! Those people are far too stupid to actually live in an emtpy property. I call bullshit on this one.
And as for the comment about non-londoners have house without firebreaks in the loft? No mate. that isnt so. I asked a friend who works in the building trade and he said that he'd only seen 3 houses in the last 5 years that had either no firebreak or only a gypsum wall.
I want to hear more about the table and chairs.
aliens because of tin foil hat wearing middle englanders
Peter Timon
Angins 2 gUD FERM !!! #
Posted Monday 16th June 2008 03:57 GMT
No!!..,,I MO knife gangs are putting flouride in our drinkin gwater because the EU now controls this country,,,F our words: put them in loony bin,,,
Robert Brockway
@Pavlovs well trained dog #
Posted Monday 16th June 2008 03:57 GMT

These things are quite a bit different in real life when you encounter a large group of people who's motives are unclear. Terrified is a perfectly normal reaction - especially if the encounter is occurring in your own home.
Ian Emery
Cant Possibly be True #
Posted Monday 16th June 2008 09:01 GMT

Why??
"The police were here within 20 minutes "
Never going to happen!!
The last time I called them (on a Thursday) they turned up on the following Tuesday.
Sounds like a scare story to justify letting Council busybodies into your house for no good reason
"We've come to check you have no illegal aliens hiding in your attic....... oh and to see if we have an excuse to hike your council tax bill"
Mark Fisher
20 years old #
Posted Monday 16th June 2008 09:01 GMT
I first saw this story twenty years ago. That time it was Pakistanis and they were living in SEVEN lofts in a terrace.
Scott Mckenzie
West Bromwich #
Posted Monday 16th June 2008 09:01 GMT
Given the local dialect i think it already is an independent state!
Mr G
My thoughts #
Posted Monday 16th June 2008 11:19 GMT
"They read the story about that Japanese woman and tried to one-up her by having a whole family..."
Funny that was my first thought as well! I wonder how much the paper paid for this story? Probably more than the table and a few toys would've cost from a car boot sale!
Anonymous Coward
@ Michael O'Malley #
Posted Monday 16th June 2008 13:21 GMT

keep you ignorant bigoted comments to your self.
welshboy
rofl #
Posted Tuesday 17th June 2008 16:18 GMT

Complete and utter b*ll*x.
That photograph on the s(c)ums website for some reason has two sombrero's featured rather prominently. I wasn't aware that Kosovan's were fans of the noble sombrero.
:)
Joke alert 'cos the story, like everything else to do with the Sun, ia complete and utter joke.
Dan Wood
el-reg... two words #
Posted Thursday 19th June 2008 11:08 GMT

'red top'
Anonymous Coward
@ Harry #
Posted Saturday 21st June 2008 18:19 GMT

W
T
F
??