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Bloke finds illegal immigrants living in loft

Dave Harris

Such a reliable source 

Paris Hilton

It was in the Sun, so it must be true.

Paris, cos even she'd question the provenance of this story ( even if she can't spell it)

Anonymous Coward

Has this been checked... 

I ask because it doesn't sound very believable, i.e. immigrants knocking through the wall in the roof space and then living there, and nobody notices till he looks in the roof.... he quotes the police, the paper doesn't quote the police.... etc.

Sounds more like somebody dreamt up a story to get some money from gullible newspapers.

debaser

class act 

Pirate

"I'd heard babies crying but found it strange because there weren't any babies in the terrace. It never occurred to me to look in the loft hatch and see what the hell was going on; I was afterall busy on my crackpipe most of the time"

Alex

mark my wurds!! 

they wil b campin in you're socks draw before chrismas!!! o wait i forgot its winterval now cause of pc gone mad!!!!! why wont Bordom Clown get the mesage and ban imiggrants?!?? cos hed hav too go bak to i bet.

tru_patriot

Tom

What he needed was... 

Thumb Up

To smoke more weed, then every time he heard a noise he'd have been up there looking for burglars in the middle of the night.

Either that or he'd be dead if he'd been at these new lethal strains knocking around...

Pavlovs well trained dog

why terrified 

am I missing something here. A group of people, desperate to remain hidden and unseen are highly unlikely to be a physical threat..

ok, so they're adding a 60w light bulb's drain to your power bill, and maybe some water.

but terrified?

bothwell

the previous tenant 

Thumb Up

She explained: "I'd heard babies crying but found it strange because there weren't any babies in the terrace."

This is such an awesome quote. I mean, what did she think it was? Poltergeists? Maybe she thought she was going mad. There is a whole sub-story in there that is actually even more interesting than the original!

Anonymous Coward

Good to see a speedy response from Plod 

20 Minutes, a bit lucky they weren't violent or anything then.

Chris G

History is cyclic 

I remember an almost identical story from the seventies, only then it was Asian immigrants. The shame here is not the immigrants living there but the unscrupulous landlords who take advantage of them. Who , often are their countrymen.

JP Sistenich

Copycats... 

They read the story about that Japanese woman and tried to one-up her by having a whole family...

Michael O'Malley

Kosovans? 

Since the attic campers had decamped, how could police deduce they were Kosovan?

Kosovans as a group are not known to squat in attics. I understand that most people in Kosovo live in their own houses (at least in the ones remaining undemolished by Serbs). They do not show a special liking for other people's under-roof areas.

It sounds like the kind of factoid added to a fake immigrant story to give it an appearance of credibility.

steogede

Illegal Immigrants 

IT Angle

>> police think they're illegal Kosovan immigrants

Based on what evidence? They could be hard up immigrants from any number of countries - I didn't think there were many Kosovans coming to the UK these days.

The most interesting thing about this story are the number of different versions their are. Some say the guy was renting the house, others say he had bought it, still more say it was an empty house which he was looking around. Also some stories say he phoned 999 right away, others say 'he returned home' and phoned the police.

Dan

What?! 

Stop

"they wil b campin in you're socks draw before chrismas!!! o wait i forgot its winterval now cause of pc gone mad!!!!! why wont Bordom Clown get the mesage and ban imiggrants?!?? cos hed hav too go bak to i bet.

tru_patriot"

Eh?! Did you say something? Most immigrants have a better grasp of English than yourself, you illiterate cretin.

Law

hang on.... 

Coat

Where the hell did they take a p*ss?? Dirty nappies for the baby too?? Surely they wouldn't climb through the empty house every time they needed to go... :(

Mines the waterproof one for the shower room....

Sir Runcible Spoon

@Dan 

Joke

I think you've been twat-o-tron-itted. :D

Tetsugaku-San

come on.. 

Flame

"I'd heard babies crying but found it strange because there weren't any babies in the terrace"

Fuck wit.

Alan White

What?! 

"Eh?! Did you say something? Most immigrants have a better grasp of English than yourself, you illiterate cretin."

I don't normally do this, but...

*applauds*

Anonymous Coward

@Dan 

Oh dear, someone hasn't read the relevant article (linked in the story...)

Tony

Errrm 

Paris Hilton

Wonder how they upgraded the ceiling joists and put in floor boards enough to support 12 bodies ???

I bet cooking, washing and (like a previous poster said) taking a leak was tricky. No all nighters either !!

This story has to be b*llocks!

Paris: 'cos she definitely can recognise b*llocks.

Robin Thompson

This reminds me... 

of a story a friend told me, who was a police commmunity support officer. She, with some colleagues, was asked to go to a house where the council tenant was convinced there were Iraqi illegal immigrants living in his loft. When they checked, there were no immigrants - but a complete cannabis factory. The officers suspect he had consumed rather too much of his own produce. Needless to say, he was booked...

Mr Smin

@Law 

I had the idea that they had the full use of one house but added extra space by annexing neighbouring lofts - that would mean they had a bathroom and kitchen, albeit with a bit of a queue.

Overall, the story sounds like bollocks though.

Harry

@Dan 

Joke

I READ THAT THE BRITISH SHEEPLE ARE TAKING OUR COUNTRY AWAY FROM US BECAUSE THEY HATE THE BRITISH PEOPLE. COME ON ELECT BORIS JOHNSON AS PRIME MINISTER. WHOS FAULT IS THAT?!?!

Mad as hell at PC Goons ENGLISH AND PROUD

Anonymous Coward

Untidy 

I'm not big on housecleaning but at least I don't have strange families taking up residence in the attic. Talk about yer dustbunnies!

Steven

If I'd bought the house... 

Go

... I'd be having a f**king word with the surveyor about that.

"Yes the electrics could really do with replacing but other than that the construction is sound...."

Except for the slight exception that the entire firebreak has been removed from the loft space and you've got some illegals camping in the loft!!!

lol :)

kain preacher

Drugs are involed 

By the writer of the article if he expects us to believe it.

On the off hand its true(checks the temperature of hell) The person living there would have to be stoned out of their mind every day. In which case why didn't the police arrest the owner of the loft ??

I'd would believe a sales person when they say trust me before I'd believe this story.

Anonymous Coward

Why ... 

Didn't he just charge them rent?

Anonymous Coward

The way I see it 

Linux

I call "urban myth" on this one. You're always going to get homeless living anywhere they can; even a closet in Japan.

Even penguins got to have a place to live.

ian

If it were Liverpool 

...It would have been the Irish (in times gone by). Except they would'na been illegal. Otherwise it would be roof rats.

B.Shaw

Tech angle? 

Maybe the Kosovoan squatters had a invisibility cloak?

Steen Hive

@Michael O'Malley 

Stop

"Kosovans as a group are not known to squat in attics. I understand that most people in Kosovo live in their own houses (at least in the ones remaining undemolished by Serbs). They do not show a special liking for other people's under-roof areas."

Er.. how do you know they weren't Serbs? Most people fleeing Kosovo are Serbs, after all. On the other hand, Albanians have a recently-proven track-record of illegal immigration followed by seizure of power and secession. I wonder if the gutless UK in a fit of realpolitik will subsequently recognize West Bromwich as an independent state?

Anonymous Coward

ANGRY 

Joke

WHEN WILL PEOPLE REALISE THAT CRIMINAL GANGS ARE TOO NAMBY PAMBY. TRUE PATRIOTS MUST CLOSE THE BORDERS NOW.

Martin Usher

Non-Londoners Read On.... 

London housing is different from that in most parts of the country because the fire regulations require that the party walls between houses are thick and go up above the roof line. In many parts of the country attics are continuous between semis and terraces so you can go between you and your neighbors' houses through the loft.

Its weird the first time you see this but as the attics are not used for anything in particular -- the ceiling joists are normally too thin to stand on -- you don't go up there much. What it also means is that if someone is using the loft as an overflow space -- got some boards down, access through wall hatch rather than a ceiling hatch, then you'll see and hear them from several doors away.

As for speculation about who they were, they left stuff behind. So I'll give this one a 'plausible'.

Ben

Ha ha ha ha ha ha 

Happy

Man this thread as good as the News Quiz ......ha ha ha ha .

Anyway , only this morning i discovered a pair of Surinamese hash smugglers

huddled in my teapot , they reckoned they hadn't seen the Sun for weeks ......they were a bit swarthy but we worked out a fair exchange and they just sit in there most nights watching "Alo Presidente" on a tiny television and banging on about "a bunch of Counts" or something ......

dodgyedgy

So they were living ABOVE an empty house? 

Alien

Errr. Ok

Its those naughty illegal immigrants, breathing our air, looking dark and swarthy! And breeding no less!

I particularly enjoyed the way this story made them look even more stupid. Living in a loft ABOVE an empty house. Of course they were! Those people are far too stupid to actually live in an emtpy property. I call bullshit on this one.

And as for the comment about non-londoners have house without firebreaks in the loft? No mate. that isnt so. I asked a friend who works in the building trade and he said that he'd only seen 3 houses in the last 5 years that had either no firebreak or only a gypsum wall.

I want to hear more about the table and chairs.

aliens because of tin foil hat wearing middle englanders

Peter Timon

Angins 2 gUD FERM !!! 

No!!..,,I MO knife gangs are putting flouride in our drinkin gwater because the EU now controls this country,,,F our words: put them in loony bin,,,

Robert Brockway

@Pavlovs well trained dog 

Linux

These things are quite a bit different in real life when you encounter a large group of people who's motives are unclear. Terrified is a perfectly normal reaction - especially if the encounter is occurring in your own home.

Ian Emery

Cant Possibly be True 

Black Helicopters

Why??

"The police were here within 20 minutes "

Never going to happen!!

The last time I called them (on a Thursday) they turned up on the following Tuesday.

Sounds like a scare story to justify letting Council busybodies into your house for no good reason

"We've come to check you have no illegal aliens hiding in your attic....... oh and to see if we have an excuse to hike your council tax bill"

Mark Fisher

20 years old 

I first saw this story twenty years ago. That time it was Pakistanis and they were living in SEVEN lofts in a terrace.

Scott Mckenzie

West Bromwich 

Given the local dialect i think it already is an independent state!

Mr G

My thoughts 

"They read the story about that Japanese woman and tried to one-up her by having a whole family..."

Funny that was my first thought as well! I wonder how much the paper paid for this story? Probably more than the table and a few toys would've cost from a car boot sale!

Anonymous Coward

@ Michael O'Malley 

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keep you ignorant bigoted comments to your self.

welshboy

rofl 

Joke

Complete and utter b*ll*x.

That photograph on the s(c)ums website for some reason has two sombrero's featured rather prominently. I wasn't aware that Kosovan's were fans of the noble sombrero.

:)

Joke alert 'cos the story, like everything else to do with the Sun, ia complete and utter joke.

Dan Wood

el-reg... two words 

Dead Vulture

'red top'

Anonymous Coward

@ Harry 

Alert

W

T

F

??