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back to article Crimestoppers learn the joy of text

CrimeStoppers UK, the anonymous snitching service, has begun a trial allowing suspicious members of the public to text in their crime tips. The intention is to get kids to report knife-carrying compatriots. The trial will launch at three schools in Tower Hamlets, with a view to a rollout across London and the rest of the country …

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Boffin

emmm how?

how can you text someone saying you just had you mobile phone stolen, carry two mobile phones?

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Coat

And the award for the best T9 fuck up goes to...

My favourite is "smirnoff", which on my phone appears as "poisoned".

"Those kids in the park have a bottle of poisoned and are drinking themselves to death!"

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Go

m8

da gy @ trmnl wont lt me on da pln coz my rags sho gunz. hlp mofo

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Go

crimz hppn

yo da google boyz r bustin lawz wt dodg hm pge on da web. go kick da dorz dwn bruva. chrz

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Go

nt on my phn

yo, som mofo inst a doge app on me ipiece, cum get th skum. lttle prx thtl lrn thm.

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Go

hlp

saw mi m8 rotn 5 chx w a mofo hitlr mo on bro. cum get em. b quik, hz got a fst ka

(come on people you get the idea, let loose! heheheh)

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Pirate

Teens + Anon Texts = Hoax...

Can't hep thinking that many teens will just text in as hoaxes....

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Go

boz

sum prk w booz on pikdlly ln, cum get em. brwn hair bout 5/9, can of auz pis fostrz i thnk. hlp urgnt, h8 tht auzz shyt.

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Sent Messages

So I can send anonymous text messages dobbing in anyone I feel like. So if I plant the evidence while they're at the pub and then I wait until closing time to tip off the filth I can clear up that annoying neighbour problem once and for all.

Strange to think the Bill is actually becoming reality, it wasn't too long ago that grassing was a dangerous hobby.

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explosion in hoax calls

Couldn't agree more AC

Why not give them another stupid thing to do "because they are bored and got nothing to do"

Suppose they can add it to their hobbies of binge drinking/stabbing innocent people/mugging OAPs.

I bet the Police are chuffed at this innovation </sarcasm>

some examples then:

hlp plz me saw a gangsta wiv blade on Oxford Sreet, he blk, about 5/9, cum quk

cum quik plz, me blood niced my gf, dat is surely nt allowed, cum get em plz.

(not sure whether those abbrevations are correct as I've not been 'down with the kids' for a few years and mobiiles were just becoming mass market when I got my first and have alwayes used proper English anyway and my standard reply to friends that did use text speak was WTF?)

I think thanks to T9 and iTap, the dictionary will look very different in 10 years and thanks to this, we'll have no police left because they'll all have left because they are fed up of being given the run around.

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Coat

Hue & Cry?

"Being caught by a 160-character tip-off would be embarrassing, but given the ineffectual nature of hue and cry these days sending a text message might be a good idea."

So that's the problem... I've found Hue and Cry to be ineffectual too. I mean, they've been Looking for Linda since the 80's.

Yes, I know... I've already got it and I'm leaving!

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@Will

omg sum dood gt pwned bi a gi wiv a nif on da bus frm prtsmouth help omgwtfbbq

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Coat

A la amfm

Too much Noise will Hide any Clear Signals Unless this is a Premium Service which defeats Noble Purpose.

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Re: And the award for the best T9 fuck up goes to...

I reckon there could be some hilarious consequences of 'pint', 'shot' and 'riot' belonging to the same 4-key sequence...

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Happy

@pctechxp

"have alwayes used proper English anyway"

hmmm.....

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Anonymous Coward

@will

guy with trnsfrmrs tshrt. snd da shooters.

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Silver badge
Go

ZOMFG!

sum gi w a thk jkt jump da barrierz @ stokwl tube stn! bust sum capz n hiz hed!

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Anonymous Coward

Trial in schools

... so is crimestoppers going to over-ride the policy enforced in many schools that mobile phones are not allowed to be used during school hours by pupils.

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Anonymous Coward

@Will

Was that yoof speak? I couldn't understand any of it.

I must be getting old. Sigh...

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STFU

So if the messages are encrypted and randomly routed....how do you peice 2 texts together at the receiving end when you go over 160 chars?

"...he's downstairs with a gun, my address is" "my neighbour isn't paying for his tv license..."

Stop this madness put more bobbys on the beat. Better still put the army on the beat with wolves to sort out all these chavs with dogs. And pets.

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Joke

txt

hlp. im prsnr in mbl phn shop

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@Sent Messages

er.. you can already do this by calling crime stoppers from a payphone, nothing new.

on a general note, I assume I've just misunderstood but:

'The trial will launch at three schools in Tower Hamlets,'

'In the UK messages can just be sent to 88551, and will be routed to CrimeStoppers'

How will they know the messages are from the trial, and not just any old person texting that number now that you've advertised it?

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Stop

Number

Surely it would be better if the number you had to text was 21463? CRIME. Or is that too obvious?

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Law
Paris Hilton

does text work on 999 or 112??

?????

Paris knows how to screw her friends over with her mobile....

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Thumb Up

I'm 17. Text Speak Is Shite.

Nice idea, but to be fair, who the hell understands that shortened shite?

I use full english, and i'm just a common southampton boy :)

Will be handy in some cases I believe.

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@ Andrew Cooper

How many times did you try to write 'smirnoff' before you noticed it comes out wrong?

@ Andrew:

Thank God some of today's youth are still sane!

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Anonymous Coward

Maybe ...

txt speak will be converted to English after you've sent the message and before Crimestoppers get the message.

They can do marvellous things with computers these days - apparently ...

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Linux

"a chav with a brick is over my car smashing the raped!"

The best t9 error I get is "raped" when I am in the middle of typing "screen", annoying when I'm trying to get back into my irssi session in PuTTY...

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Coat

Anderson Software!?

It just reminds me of that scene in the Matrix where the agents are interrogating Neo and they glue his thumbs together...

"Tell me, Mr. Anderson... what good is an anonymous snitch... if you're unable to text?"

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Boffin

@Gordon Matson

Yes yes just noticed it was a typo, I do indeed know how to spell always and mobiles.

I got C in English Language don't you know, would have been an A* if the questions were about the actual construction of words and sentences rather than what some journo was thinking when he wrote some campaign leaflet for [insert cause here]

The Geek, because tech blokes suffer from typing mistakes in the rush to get their ideas out.

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Stop

Title

Would you all stop talking in faux-text-talk. It's not even funny. Seriously.

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