BOFH: Testing the obscenity filters
"Hi, I'd just like some help setting up my Macintosh for access t..." >SLAM< . . . >Ring< "Hello?" the PFY says. "Hi, we must have got cut off, I was ringing for a bit of help setting up my Mac..." >SLAM< . . . >RING< "Is there something wrong with your phone?" the voice asks. "I don't think so," the PFY says. "But …
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Brightened up my day, thanks!
That put the smile back on my face! Only wish we had the luxury! ;-)
GENIUS!
This one had me almost wetting myself, first one for ages (though they are all funny)... Even had my manager stick his head out the office to ask if I was alright...
Finally succeeded
I finally descended into helpless laughter while supposed to be working.
Bastard.
Back to the old school
Like the "classic-BOFH" style of this one.
Wish I could do that...
I tried doing the same on our Helpdesk phonesystem, but...
My boss nixed it when he saw the list of words I wanted to include...
Office
Excel
Outlook
Windows
What about
Manchester United - I had that on the obscenity filters to test them whenever they were updated :)
More evil than ever
Simon is an inspiration to us all, one of the funniest one's yet
lol
Aah that put a big smile on my face after making a major cock SLAM .....bugger SLAM
Err I mean major mistake yesterday that has had me not in the best of moods for the last 24 hours.
Paris because.......well I always feel like laughing when looking at her =D
Destroy all Macs
The use of unnecessary violence in the prevention of macs infiltrating our utopian society has been approved.
This most certainly includes all macs installed by idiot directors on helldesks when the customer base is 95%+ Windows (without benefit of Bootcamp)
Awesome!
"....and he recalibrates himself out of a job."
Best. Line. Ever :D
Quality stuff!
A return to the "solar-flare" era of user-baiting story :-) Utterly wonderful - more please!
It's been a while
Since I read a BOFH as good as that one. Took me back to the old school days.
Paris, as she needs a good slamming every now and again.
*mutter mutter*
I really don't know what everyone's got against Ma... >SLAM<
Bah
How cliché, IT person hating on Mac due to inherent threat to his own job, plus USER too daft to even set up a Mac by himself. All pretty worn out, if you ask me.
Don't tempt me...
I'm upgrading the phone system next week and people are asking what extra features there are....Oh I must resist....
Like it!
I'll just have to remember it next time some user asks for optical<SLAM>
A timeless classic is born!
What a classic! Deffinately one that will be held as a timeless classic as it is reread in years to come! Brilliant!
Bring the flip chart back!
Simon, was that one from the "Excuses of the Day" flip chart?
I reckon it was!
Classic
Classic - Absolute classic! I was ROLF, got some odd looks from my boss!
Return to user baiting
Don't get me wrong, baiting bosses and suppliers is good stuff, but good to see the BOFH get back to basics.
Great one
After this hellish week(something with exchange(thankfully will be getting rid of it soon)+ad+win2k3 failinng monday) this made it all worth while....
Took my breath away and so...
<gasp>
<SLAM>
<sigh>
<SLAM>
<groan>
<SLAM>
Excuses of the Day flip chart
Have to say my favourite (and most used) excuse for some otherwise unexplainable IT problem is:
'hmmm must be caused by unusual levels of solar activity'
Works every time :-)
Class
This one is the bogs dangles for this year, just wiping the tears away now..
Got a few technicains in mind that i will be trying this on for a laugh, think i'll be adding the phrase in "you couldn't do me a favour"
An instant classic
I've been reading the BOFH column for years now and I have decided to sign up now just to be able to comment on this one. 'Nuff said!
Top
Laugh, I nearly sh >SLAM!<
Getting my coat as now too weak to w >SLAM!<
hahahahahaha....
Having read this half an hour ago I had to come back and read it again... the tears are still rolling down my face!
Wish i had one of these but i can't <SLAM>
Merchandise it please El'Reg
We need a HellDesk Excuse calendar, please?
@ Bad Beaver
This is a site for techies, not mac zealots. Why don't you use your solitary mouse button to easily click your way back to safety and leave the nasty CLI men to it?
Definitely getting it back
..... although TBH I'm not really sure he ever lost it.
So how long do you reckon before someone writes an Asterisk module to do exactly this?
Reminds me ...
Of my "line failures" when my dad was scolding me on the phone
Dad: I told you that <SLAM>
*ring*
Dad: Call went dead. Ok, I was telling <SLAM>
*ring*
Dad: Hey why are you hanging up?
Me: I'm not. <SLAM>
For helldesk-style support, though, my favorite is the infinite hold method. If your phone doesn't actually have a "hold" button, you can just leave the phone besides you (on mute, of course) and you get the added benefit of no *other* calls getting in! Ah, those old days...
Me too!
Nearly pissed myself laughing. El Reg really shouldn't inflict this kind of humor on aging gentlemen with weak bladders. Fortunately, Sphincter Control was maintained, though with difficulty.
@Simon
BOFH, I love them. Some are brilliant, some less but always enjoyable. But this one is just straight, classic, superb! Just like those back in the early 90ies.
It made my weekend and left me with some nice ideas to think about.
EAfH
just like the good ol' days
reminds me of the good old skool bofh's, except it was ewe anchors back then instead of can't, perfect timing tho as i had to ring a mr huan king today (no, i am NOT making the name up!)
hex
@bad beaver
can't <SLAM> you accept that modern macs ARE pc's albeit with dodgy styling, idiot proof OS and massively over inflated price tag...
the mac not being a pc thing died the moment apple switched to using x86 hardware
AC
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