Please tell me it's Sarah and not Paris....!!!!!

"Whatever you say, Mistress...."

<- the one with the numerous interesting straps, thanks!

What's it all about? Is it all worth it?

Is there anyway to stop the world because I wish to get off.

That i might get mine coat... And what is that beeping noise?

Chuck Norris is my dad. He doesn't know this yet, but im if I tell him, will I get a back-log of years of Roundhouse Kicking discipline?

If i have an IT angle, will Paris wear my coat?

Reg Comments seems to be taking on a life of its own. However most of the time it's just like Groundhog Day with the same content regardless of the story.

Can we have a clear classification system for posters?

The "Me Too" - Nothing to say so I'll agree with someone else just to get a posting on the board.

The "Knocker" - Doesn't know the subject that well but that smug know-it-all who does needs taking down a peg or two!

The "Last one Laughing" - Take everything literally and suffers a total humour failure

The "First Past The Post" - Reads every other word in 10 sec flat and posts inflammatory drivel in a surge of adrenalin.

The "Troll" - The traditional stirrer position

There are more of course. I think this system could really streamline the comments

:o)

What Mike said, Sarah can dominate me anytime :P

Even after having a shower women won't sleep with me, is there anything else I can do. Hang on, have to go just found a new half life mod,

Please??

I'm often stumped by which variety of tuna to buy. I'm a bit indifferent to the taste, it's all the same with mayo. So which will make me a healthier person/a better global citizen/smell less? Brine, spring water, sunflower oil or olive oil?

In a conundrum, who does The Moderatrix turn to for answers ???

/mines the one you have to ask about

Considering that without atmospheric CO2 Earth would be an iceball and that all the fossil stored CO2 will be used up at some point, I am failing to buy into this whole eco-group-think.

Should I continue with my petrol-fuelled beliefs, or should I become and eco-nut?

Dear Moderatrix,

I have a slight recurring problem, which happens every day, without fail, just as my bus arrives (as I'm heading in to work). There is a particularly bumpy bit of road just before my stop, and as the bus goes over it, it rattles my cage and...er... sends my genitalia into an excited state. It's very embaressing getting off the bus and walking through the street with alert genitals in my pants.

I have tried various solutions - covering it with a newspaper, walking with my jacket held over my arm (even in rainy weather), but nothing can hide it's presence. It's especially embaressing when I realise a colleague of mine is disembarking the bus at the same time as me, and we have to walk side by side to work - 200 metres with a stiffy :|

Apart from not taking the bus, how do I get round this embaressing situation (no permanent solutions please though, I still need him alert for the missus)?

-Stiffy

I grew up as a geek / nerd (Depending on your definition of both)

I watch sci-fi, I can debate the intricacies of technology differences between Star Trek and Star Wars, I have been known to read a comic or two, and have certainly been known to roll a D20 or two in my time. I can diagnose a computer with my eyes shut, and have a variety of OS's running on my home computer cluster.

Yet somehow I managed to get a wife and child (that's right my fellow reg readers, I have had sex and have the proof to back that claim up), I'm not shunned from parties and have been known to give a speech without resorting to techno babble. Heck if it comes to it, I'm also known to have a shower more than once a month! (No seriously, like everyday or something, I know it's wrong but I can't stop)

So the question is what did I do wrong? Where did I lose my way on the track of life known as geekdom? How did I de-rail and join 'society'? How can I hope to get back to the right way of life?

Please Moderatrix (OK, Sarah if you insist) share with me your wisdom, tell me how I should proceed, I feel like I'm letting the team down.

moderates the Moderatrix?

Or should the question really be; Who would DARE moderate the moderatrix?

The one with "Whip me mistress!" and "Thank you, may I have another?" on the back.

Sounds exactly like usenet, just after AOL started up. You missed Godwin's law, however, which needs it's own category.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law

I'm stuck in a joke with no prospects. I need to get a better joke, one that will pay a lot more money, and earn me the respect I deserve.

Reg Comments seems to be taking on a life of its own. However most of the time it's just like Groundhog Day with the same content regardless of the story.

Can we have a clear classification system for posters?

The "Me Too" - Nothing to say so I'll agree with someone else just to get a posting on the board.

The "Knocker" - Doesn't know the subject that well but that smug know-it-all who does needs taking down a peg or two!

The "Last one Laughing" - Take everything literally and suffers a total humour failure

The "First Past The Post" - Reads every other word in 10 sec flat and posts inflammatory drivel in a surge of adrenalin.

The "Troll" - The traditional stirrer position

There are more of course. I think this system could really streamline the comments

:o)

Moderatrix,

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

... before he gets run over?

I appear to have become entangled in Apple's Reality Distortion Field. It's rather disturbing, and very very shiny. Is there a way out?

1) When will the Playmobil dioramas be available on Cash & Carrion?

2) Can the moderatrix questions/answers be done in the form of a Playmobil diorama?

3) Why don't we ever hear of 418 fraudsters? Is that the section covering selling an animal at the fair that's trained to return to you?

Have to say though, the moderatrix sounds like someone who'd jury rig a taser out of a harpoon gun and a scalextric controller

Is this just like Ask Elvis on Steve Wright in the afternoon?

when you stand up?

How Zotted is El Reg going to get when the Usenet Oracle finds out about this?

Will Sarah Bee the new Lisa?

Are you prepared for the deluge of questions about woodchucks?

Why is a cow?

Sorry. I'm older than I look.

Oh Reg what hast thou unleashed ?

You didn't see all this coming ?

RE: Senor Beavis

Ya, thanks, nice one ;oP~~~~

If a stripper gives you her number(and its real) why wont she return your calls?

I've just moved into a new flat with a member of the opposite sex, and I'm not sure how to confess my addiction to Eve Online. I've managed to hide it up until now, but we've discussed PC gaming and she thinks the only people doing it are "internet wierdos"

I'm dreading the first time burst into the room and catches me typing away, with my headset on, discussing ship fittings. Should I have some pr0n or something open in the background so I can switch to that and not get busted?

Please help!!

What time can I leave without everyone who hasn't left thinking "what a slacker"?

Carl, how many times do I have to remind you, stay out of the Total Perspective Vortex!

Share and Enjoy!