Well
What an arse of a robbery attempt that was!
NZ bank robber stashes loot where the sun don't shine
A NZ bank robber who stashed the NZ$2,000 proceeds of a heist up his tradesman's entrance was fingered by "rustling sounds" from his "bottom area", the Southland Times reports. Michael Geoffrey Linn, 36, unemployed, yesterday admitted in the Alexandra District Court to robbing the Cromwell branch of the Bank of New Zealand on 3 …
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so he took off his clothes
Do we presume he had a change of clothing with him, or was he nicked in the nude? In which case, the police officers should have been able to spot the cash rather sooner than they did.
Presumably now his troubles are over, as he will be vacationing for a couple of years at taxpayers' expense.
But that crisp new NZ currency did not deserve to die.
Plastic money
I thought New Zealand notes where plastic? if so that may have been pretty uncomfortable, not saying that a fist full of paper cash up the backdoor wouldnt hurt, just plastic would be a whole new level.
Bum rap or piles of cash
Cattle rustling I've heard of but arse rustling?
Or maybe it was him putting money where he usually speaks from.
New Zealand police...
suspect that more of the loot may be hidden up the thief's rear end. When asked by a reporter about the current situation, the Chief of police commented "The last time we looked there was no change".
I can imagine that...
...papercuts'd be especially nasty... *shudder*
@ Tom
If it was plastic, it could have just been wiped clean rather than destoyed. The cash I mean, not his arse.
Rustling
as in rounding, up and stealing ???
/mine's the one with latex gloves.
Sorry Elmer I could not resist the round & up.
Question
Destroyed? Haven't the NZ Police heard of money laundering?
Gives a new meaning
To the term 'Arse Bandit'
/mines the one with the feather boa
Apparently...
...the most compelling evidence against the suspect came after he was fingered during the identity parade.
pathetic punning
If only he hadn't stuffed it up, the law wouldn't have fingered him and he'd have made a clean getaway.
I'm going, I'm going ... wonder if there's a job for me at The Sun.
I'm sorry
The cheek of it: still, at least NZ Plod got to the bottom of it very quickly.....
OK, I'll leave quietly...
Mine's the very loud oversized check pattern, with the plastic squirty flower in the buttonhole....
wonder if...
...the $2k was in loose "bowels"??
mine's the first one that comes
I never done it officer
I just have a rich diet.
So thats where I put my inheritance.
I'm a stripper it and this was a tip.
So you snort coke the other end, that's what I've been doing wrong all these years.
Well I had to put it somewhere I took all my clothes off and burned them.
I really do shit money.
I offered the money to a pretty girl and she told me where to put it.
I'm innocent I tell you, innocent!
Apparently...
...It was only $1998- according to the robber he "asn't feeling too grand..."
@Mr B
Sorry? nah, ambiguity is the meat of the Reg readers (no, not knob meat, cow meat). It sure gives 'piles of money' a different meaning.
Still it was a great crack for a while but got a bum deal out of it in the end.
Still, not many would have had the cheek, though it's an ill wind etc.we tc.
"Would sir like to leave a small something as a deposit"
Innuendo - why does it always sound as if it means something else?
Lucky bastard
Imagine the pain if the take had been higher.
Or coins only. Being put in the clink for clinking. Oh the humanity.
OK, off to the pub lads, my trousers are full so the next one's on me...
@Mr. B
It's stealing, rounding, and up (up and awaaaaay)...
Mine's the one with the credit cards only - I don't handle cash
*snickers*
At least when he told the NZ Plods to "Go Fu*k themselves" they could reply that he didnt have enough sh*t to pay with.
/get me a beer and Ill be on my way
Look on the bright side
After that little performance, he'll be a very popular boy in prison.
I'd have gladly paid him two grand to get a front row seat.
@ Tom
It's very paper-like plastic :-)
And I see the "arse-bandit", ahem, crack, has already been made. Curses.
Does that mean that the NZ Plods'...
... quick probe was successfully concluded ?? Well, no one can accuse them plods of taking a very lax(ative) attitude to crime !! All's well that ends well, eh, lads ??
Apparently he was taken ill just after the money was recovered.
He said he wasn't feeling two grand.
Too bad for him...
...that they didn't let him keep the money in the end.
Ow
Let's hope it was:
a) All in notes
b) Not $1 bills
For his sake!!
Did I miss anything?
Sticky fingers (aargh)
You can NOT take that to the bank
A real hold-up
He's in deep shit
It was all it was cracked up to be
Look ma, no hands..
all right, all right. I'm going already.
Don't get so tight arsed about it.
new zealand notes ARE plastic..
would YOUnlike to wipe them?
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