...from the idiot who posted footage of himself doing 200 on a bike and got his collar felt when the coppers used it to track him down.

It was some sort of ritual involving a can of Haze?

Million to one shot doc, million to one shot.

I read that and suddenly in my mind I heard the jingle to a very old but well known advert.

"Do the shake and vac, and put the freshness back"

Coat? Mines the one with the 70's lapels

He pretty much had a foursome

...that Max Mosley is not involved in this somehow?

"Probe going captain. Boldly where no man has gone before.."

wrong.. I suspect many men have there before...

of the guy with the knife in his back. I don't care how drunk I get I'm telling you I would notice either one.

BillG with horns because this is something he might do.

DA? How about TA? or QA as eddiewrenn suggests?

How does one deal with their insurance company representative, when they call to verify this "medical procedure" was actually performed, on the individual in question? If I were in the agent's position, I could honestly believe a medical report that included little details like self-inflicted nail gun wound, but an anal "wound" like this? Nah...

The guy is going to feel like an ass for a long time to come & be the butt end of a joke for years.

Mine's the one with the optional anal chastity appliance.

Last time I used a conversion calculator 15cm was 5.9 inches. I've laid better cable than that in my time.

If he's a regular practicing homo, that wouldn't bother him at all, never mind the quality, feel the width?

On my way...

"Boldly goin where no other CAN has gone before" more like it ...

"Hey, where's Mr Soreanus?" - Ahh, he's gone for a few cans - err - tinnies ... ahh whatever.

But seriously, imagine if the spray deployed while it was mud-up...he's shit's woulda been attractin all the ladies, like on them deoderant advertisements.

I'm pretty sure I had a hat that went with this jacket....

I can see no mention of Michael Barrymore in this story. Or have I got hold of the wrong end of the can?

They were having a party indeed in that hospital room...

That looked more like some 20 cm (8 in), at least. And luckily enough, the cap did not come off.

Anyway, all those people should be sacked, WTF!

Go here to view.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f27_1208563235

I have to say, having lived in the Philippines, that I would not have expected Filipinos to pass up this opportunity for a laugh. No harm done.

From the excellent Blazing Saddles;

Howard Johnson: Y'know, Nietzsche says: "Out of chaos comes order."

Olson Johnson: Oh, blow it out your ass, Howard.

Paris, because I bet she de-odorizes regularly.

"15cm"

I do hope that was the length and not the diameter.

We did once have a patient in our X-ray dept with a Gold Label* bottle in the same place. He was a bit hazy on how it had got there, too, but given the effect of its former contents, that's not wholly surprising.

*A very strong UK beer, sold in mercifully small bottles.

a 'ball' deoderant; or an 'arsosol'

Mines the fresh smelling one with the can in the pocket. Not there? I think I put it down on my chair for a second... Then what did I do?

It's 5:37am here (for me) ... it usually takes me about 45 minutes to put out the necessary fires ...

So please forgive me if I'm a bit confused ...

A spray can up the arse/ass ? Did I read that correctly ?

No, I won't be going back to check ... and *NO* I don't want to know the IT angle ... Seriously.

Damnit, no more El Reg reading before the third cup of coffee ...

... muttering to himself ... "Did they say Spray Can ? Spray Can of what ? ... I don't care. I don't need to know ... "

Seriously, WTF ???

<--- Going out for SuckMyBucks ... this is gonna be a LONG week ...

This is what happens when a dyslexic homeboy tries to pop a cap in your ass......

I bet the poor old bloke is relieved that it wasn't a 20cm spray can.

..the hospital are just being arsey about the situation

what's next? the 120MM antitank shell?

Hm... if its length, it isn't that much. But if that's width ... OW OW OW OW!!!

Still, even if it is 15cm, every single spraycan I've known is wide enough to be painful enough to notice it... unless you're the "goatse" guy.

I thought the whole thing was adorable -- giggling medical crew, dozens of helping hands in gloves, imaging, and all. The vic was getting serious medical attention. It would have been much worse if they had been all serious about it.

Hard to stay completely serious given the circumstances, but in fact, a lot of surgical skill saved the poor sod from a painful death.