back to article Swedish lag's wooden todgers fail to impress

A 58-year-old Swedish man who thoughtfully left carved wooden phalluses as going-away presents for female staff on his release from chokey has been fined for his trouble, the Borås Tidning reports. The unnamed former lag did a short spell in Smälteryd correctional facility outside of Borås in central Sweden back in 2003. To …

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  1. JasonW
    Coat

    disappointed in El Reg

    Of course the correct unit of currency to express the fine in this case would be the Vietnamese Dong

    It's about 4.8 million VND

  2. Hans
    Paris Hilton

    No appreciation huh?

    as the saying goes:

    "Never look a gift-horse in the mouth"

    or is it, never put a gift-pack in the mouth?

    Dammit, Paris because she knows a thing or two about phalluses and mouths

  3. bluesxman
    Coat

    where's the...

    Oh ... it's Bootnotes. Fuck.

    ;)

  4. James Condron

    Sexual Molestation

    But if they didn't use them.... and wouldn't it be the prisoners using them? not him? Can you molest your self? Bloody Swedes

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    I didn't ...

    ... think the sentence was particularly stiff!

    .. mine's the one covered in wood shavings.

  6. Maksim Rukov
    Alert

    splinters?

    I would've thought a fine for unsafe products would be more in order. Imagine getting a splinter during "use"...

  7. lansalot
    Go

    err

    "The recipients, however, were "not inclined to take advantage of the wooden phalluses and instead reported the matter to police"."

    So, how come he was charged with sexual molestation then ? Surely "suggestion to self-inflict sexual molestation" would be more appropriate ?

    tsk tsk tsk...

    From a Health & Safety pov however, there could have been some nasty splinters - so probably as well to return them.

  8. GrahamT
    Coat

    Bad pun alert

    So what was he originally dildoing time for?

    The grey one with the arrows, please

  9. Ishkandar
    Boffin

    @GrahamT

    I think it was for putting intricately carved wooden Euros into the pay-as-you-watch porno machines !!

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