Directory enquiries call says no available listing for a 'Mr Joe Baxi'

I feel strangely disappointed...

I wonder if there is a guy in south london actually called joe baxi who gets calls from irate customers of errant or late taxis...

I refuse to get a directory and look...

Smiley face... It made me laugh hysterically

Nice to see how our educational standards are improving year on year. Well done NuLab.

Can someone stop the world please? I'd like to get off now

Alien, because they can probably speak our language better than most London residents.

That is the funniest article I have read in a long time. Fantastic. About time some chav got caught out in this sort of way. Utterlly brilliant.

Absolutely fantastic, I havent laughed so much over a Reg story in ages - funnier even than Phorms' shared taking a smacking, and thats saying something!

Big up da' wesside Staines massive :)

I would of made her keep the cabinet and only returned the money on condition she went back to school and complete the 5 years she clearly missed out on.

Dear oh dear, talk about make a right Aristotle of yerself...

Mine's the one me trouble an' strife always tries to 'arf-inch offa me.

I hope that the ignorant little chav now realises that speaking like a tw@ doesn't get you anywhere (literally).

Paris, because she knows how to use her mouth properly.

If you're based in London, surrounded by major airports offering cheap flights to everywhere, why on earth would you need to fly from Bristol? Bristol only offers a small selection of destinations and is far more expensive than Lahndun airports, as we West Country folk know only too well...

...I could come up with something humorous to say, but I can't. That's just priceless. Mind, it sums up a mail I got from a friend yesterday that they'd ripped from one of the news websites. It detailed the new lists of names being given to children. All of them mis-spelled, missing vowels, letters replaced with apostrophes...

Remember when it was just the Americans that did that? How many ways can you spell "Sonia/Sonja/Sonya/Soniah...." anyway?

Paris, because she'd not know how to ring for a cab (innit), either.

Could have been far worse, she may have ended up with a rack full of servers delivered to her door, (Cab/rack delivery is typically fairly cheap its all that lovely stuff they put in it that makes it expensive ;)

...I'll grab my Ye Olde English Scholar coat...

I've been waiting to hear a story like this!

I like the idea that she actually paid £180 for a taxi too! Where the hell was she going?

Who cares if that story is true or not, its hilarious and will no doubt be making it's way round the internet and email.

I would love to hear a recording of the conversations.

i mean the polish workers round here speak better english than most londoners.... its bloody embarassing....

i also dont think londoners now annoying their accent is anyway... :)

for clarity i live in the east midlands - neither north or south - so my accent is very neutral. so much so that hardly anyone can ever guess where im from :)

and why is this on El Reg?

I am starting to think I am my parents after hearing the 'young folk' speak. I do worry about the inability of people to communicate to each other. Slang simply doesn't do it. I interview graduates for work and find they often struggle to speak coherently, 'innit' does seem to be used as a comma and they often cannot string a logical sequence of thoughts into a sensible sentence. And these are graduates, not drop outs from a deprived part of London. I suspect the drive to put 50% of people through higher education means that a good chunk of them are simply not up to higher education.

I blame Thatcher for all of this... or Major... or Blair...or Brown. All middle class tossers who should be shot.

Paris as this has as much relevance to her as the story does to IT.

...if there are any recordings of these phone conversations...

Alien icon, because she was obviously speaking another language.

``I would of made her keep the cabinet and only returned the money on condition she went back to school and complete the 5 years she clearly missed out on.''

I suggest you accompany her during the more advanced classes - you might get to learn how past participles work.

If she was willing to pay £180 for a flight from Bristol then:

(1) The Bristol flight was damn cheap

(2) She's a complete donkey for not wanting to use the train

(3) She had it coming

That's incredible. Thank you, El Reg, for I shall now laugh every time a taxi or cabinet appears on Eastenders..

If the operator had been a bit smarter at interpreting "Baxi", she could have ended up dropping several hundred quid on a Central Heating boiler.

"...suggested that maybe she should speak a bit clearer on the phone."

Perhaps "more clearly" would convey his meaning with improved efficacy.

Reminds me of the woman who rang 192 and asked for a guard dog firm called "Beware". She knew it was called that, because she'd seen the sign up saying "Beware Guard Dogs". I know the guy who took the call.

BTW, how did the Reg miss this story?

"Beleaguered Dell breaks customer’s laptop, sends replacement full of pubes"

http://consumerist.com/374402/photo-dell-breaks-your-laptop-sends-replacement-full-of-pubes

It seems to have escaped some of you that "Joe Baxi" is Cockney rhyming slang for "Taxi", hence the utter confusion.

Cost of a call to Directory enquiries: 50p

One Displaysense cabinet: £180

Being able to tell your mates about it over a pint: absolutely priceless.

Hmm, anyone else smell a rat? I suggest a little creative word play the Displaysense marketing department. There is no way on earth two people could get through the whole process of ordering a cabinet without realising they were talking at cross purposes.

You should of, could of, would of asked an adult for some help with your post.

If only she'd said "It's a taxi innit." Wouldn't have been anywhere near as funny though. How much further does it need to go before we have a completely new language called Chavish? We'll end up with teachers being encouraged to give lessons in it, innit. Much like Ebonics in the States: http://members.aol.com/midevlman/ebonics.htm

Gotta love it. This story has "completely invented" written ALL over it.

Keep up the good work, El Reg. Or should I say El Regurgitator.

I really can't believe you guys are actually talking about this as though it really happened...

It's not real. I repeat. It's not real. Go read a text book on Public Relations, you fools.

This is simply not true. Well done on being suckered, guys.

So contrived it's not even close to believable, what a bunch of horse crap.

Is this a London thing then? that you pay for a taxi up front with a credit card ? Not something I've ever come across, but you live and learn...

It's "Aoooow" and "Garn" that keep her in her place.

Not her wretched clothes and dirty face.

Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?

This verbal class distinction by now should be antique.

If you spoke as she does, sir, Instead of the way you do,

Why, you might be selling flowers, too.

An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him,

The moment he talks he makes some other

Englishman despise him.

"There is no way on earth two people could get through the whole process of ordering a cabinet without realising they were talking at cross purposes."

Four Candles!

Four Candles?

Four Candles.

No, four candles!

Well there you are, four candles!

...

Your accent is neutral, but your punctuation places you back in South London ;-)