The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

No sense of humour? Avoid Bootnotes

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Simon Painter

IT? 

IT Angle

where's the IT angle, eh, I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards

Steve

IT angle? 

IT Angle

I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards

You asked for it.

Anonymous Coward

YOU PROMISED 

Unhappy

to sell my kids into slavery last time! AND YOU DIDN'T YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Their still there, leaching off my wallet, lounging in MY chair, eating me out of house & home and drinking my beer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You did, you PROMISED!!!!!!

Stew Wilson

Headline 

New Reg readers in no-sense-of-humour shocker! Youtube videos of people *not having fun* within!

As the old saying goes, "Fuck'em if they can't take a joke."

StillNoCouch

Where's the IT Angle ? 

Coat

Couldn't help myself.

Jacob Reid

ok, but... 

Coat

Where's the Paris Hilton angle?

Anonymous Coward

Well said.. 

Thumb Up

I also get furious when I find sport in my newspaper. Luckily the particular broadsheet I read quarentines it away from the real news in an easy to thow-away section.

Immediate disposal of this item in an exaggerated and public manner is a great way of attracting women, I have found, who understandably are suspicious of men who immediately (on seeing a headline on the front page suggesting we are all goig to die within the next fifteen minutes or that hemlines are going down again this year) immediately scan through the paper to find the pictures of fit men in shorts.

As for bootnotes? Well, although it can be blocked with a simple proxy rule I have yet to find a way of using this technique to attract members of the opposite sex.

Daniel du Preez

I for one... 

...am disappointed at the lack of NSFW content in this article, given the nice red NSFW tag.

Dangermouse

Why classed as NSFW? 

Sir,

I can only find one direct reference to sex, and one swearword. If that now means that these sort of articles should be classed as NSFW, then The Register shall be removed from my etc etc etc, fought in 4 world wars, grumble, grumble, old tyres for shoes, 85 miles to school in winter, mutter...don't know they were born.

Sincerely,

Col Reginald Mutterington-Oldfart (Rtd), 1st CannonFodder Rifles

Tunbridge Wells

David Rollinson

What's the IT angle? 

IT Angle

...but I did like "fucktards"; keep up the good work!

Sam Kirkpatrick

Cue??? 

Go

"Cue a (very polite, I hasten to add) email..."

Oh good grief! Here we go again!

Dalek13

Welcome! 

Thumb Up

I, for one, welcome our animal fancying, orifice buzzing, nipple festooned, lego-based overlords!

Steve Mason

APPLAUD 

Heart

sorry for the caps, but

/cheer!

I have nothing more to say.. if you don't like it, don't read it.

PS. Fucktards was coined by me over a year ago, and I demand royalties ;)

PPS. I am now putting together a "Motivation Poster", so fasionable these days, of a Monolith with the caption "The Internet: My God! It's full of tards!"

Anonymous Coward

Go on then...am i the first?! 

Coat

where's the IT angle, eh, I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards!

Only kidding, keep up the good work :)

Damn Yank

Amen to that! 

Well played..

Graham Dawson

This is all good and well... 

Heart

... but where's the love?

Andy

Football section can be as funny as bootnotes. Sometimes 

It's ironic really - the football pages are quite funny atr the moment thanks to Liverpool having a board or directors that loathe each other, you'd probably enjoy ready the footy section today.

Or remember this classic photo of Ashley Cole in the sports pages:

http://img264.echo.cx/img264/7297/ashleycole7ae.jpg

Simon

Where's the ... 

IT Angle

<ouch>Stop that!<grrngg>

put me down! I didn't mean it

<whimper>

Help!

Neil

Testing... 

IT Angle

The icon says it all, really.

brian

Where's the IT angle? 

IT Angle

I'm shocked that there is a possibility that my crack-den might be turned into a house and given to a white, english, indigenous native of these islands.

At least wait until we've finished our roast swans & the football section.

Sarah Bee

Re: Cue??? 

(Written by Reg staff)

That is the correct use of 'cue'.

Please shush.

Mike Crawshaw

Well....! 

Coat

where's the IT angle, eh, I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards!!

Oh. Chuck Norris, you say? Deeply sorry, old chap, I, er, thought I was on Slashdot...

Inspector_Morse

Don't beat about the bush, Lester.... 

Paris Hilton

... tell us what will really happen to the first 'where's the IT angle' poster.

Paris, because she doesn't have a bush to beat around.

Simon

Bye bye "IT angle" 

Good on you, I am sick and tired of posts with an IT angle...

I don't work in this industry to want to read about it :p

Anonymous Coward

Sweet Jesus, how can I resist 

Paris Hilton

Where the f@ck is the fokking IT angle.....

(ear cocked, waiting for black helicopters and sound of CN coming down zip line to dispense said justice....)

Paris because she always changes ITs angle.......

I'll get me dribble-proof mac...

Ben

NSFW - RSS 

Heart

Do you think you could mabey not include all the rude naughty bits in the RSS feed sumary. I'm luck at my place as i don't use the proxy but i guess thats not the case everywhere?

Anyway, bootnotes, I love bootnotes!

Iain

Disgusted 

Paris Hilton

I personally find it utterly ridiculous that a well respected source of informative and entertaining current affairs such as "TheRegister.com" should find it necessary to engage it's formidable phalanx of mental power in constructing an article which pandered to the whining content-nazis (and yes I am aware of Godwin's Law and believe that it too was invented by the same people who continually complain and use the comments page for vitriolic and non-sensical rants which seem to meander on and on and on and never actually come to a conclusion or indeed a sensible point and ignore any form of grammar or punctuation except where totally inappropriate and fill up valuable space on "TheRegister.com"'s servers and I just have to ask myself why oh why oh why can't there be some sensible IT oriented content on demand when I want it now I want it now give it to me now. I am now thoroughly disgusted and my bookmarks will be 0.5kb (approx.) lighter.

Michael

I'm tempted to enter, it's the best competition prize you've offered.... 

> first person to post [the obvious] will be banned for life from these pages

And what's the second prize in this competition? Banned for 2 lives?

James Condron

Ah yes, 

Another piece where Lester Haines gets in a mood and decides to use the new El Reg blog service to go after critics. Soon Haines will do a Dawkins and release a book slamming everyone who disagreed over the last so many years... the IT Delusion perhaps? Not as snappy a title, of course, but I'm no writer.

Tim

Bootnotes 

They're the main reason I read The Reg!

Edwin

@Steve Mason 

Thumb Up

That has to be the best idea I've heard all week.

I'll have one when you're done!

Joe K

*holds handbag* Ooooooooooooooo! 

Joke

Well! Someone never got a chance to go out for the traditional Friday liquid lunch this afternoon.

Meetings all day, eh Lester?

Slaine

We don't need no steenking IT angle (on Fridays) 

Pirate

Haaaaaaaarrrrumphhh, <clears throat twice for good measure and adopts a really deep gravelly voice before booming> I didn't fight in two world wars just to sit here typing, "I didn't fight in two world wars".

No really, I didn't fight in two world wars. I'm all about peace and love, and really bad eggs, and the pictures of sweet Paris. Such a lovely city.

preethi

The IT angle is in..... 

Paris Hilton

the way this new reaches us. So i for one have no complaints.

As for the Paris Hilton angle, my mind is always there.

Sarah Bee

Re: Ah yes, 

(Written by Reg staff)

'El Reg blog service'?

Anonymous Coward

NSFW = Not Suitable for Whiners 

Alert

RE: those picking up on NSFW. Unless you've a browser from the dark ages you might have noticed the dotted line underneath the abbreviation NSFW indicating in this case "Not Suitable for Whiners". It's a joke... in Bootnotes... whatever next!

Anonymous Coward

RE: @Disgusted 

On this side of the pond, we prefer to refer to this sites address as "theregister.co.uk"

John Lawton

More please! 

Happy

Give me more titillation please, compooters are booring!

J

Kane

@ Steve Mason Re:My God! It's full of tards! 

Paris Hilton

Nice! Once I get home I'll be on the old photoshop knocking one out!

Paris, cos she knows how to knock one out...

Aditya Krishnan

IT? What IT? 

Paris Hilton

Took me three weeks to realise that this was *supposed* to be an IT site... first thing I ever read on Le Reg was a BOFH piece back in '06.

Paris, cos she prolly doesn't know either.

Sarah Bee

Re: NSFW = Not Suitable for Whiners 

(Written by Reg staff)

Congratulations, Anonymous Coward! A nice cold one* to you for being the first to spot that.

*Please note this comment does not entitle the recipient to a nice cold one

Jamie

As per your comments 

Paris Hilton

Where is the Paris nip slip???

Paris cause you have never seen enough of her nips.

Kevin Crisp

@ Steve Mason 

Linux

SO Fucktards was YOUR fault.

It should be fuckards - this works much better; try:

"Fuck the fucking fuckards/fucktards" - the first rolls off the tongue so much more easily.

Of course, nothing can beat "fuck the fucking fuckers"

Linux Penguin - because he's the fucking greatest.

Anonymous Coward

Steve Mason re fucktard 

Joke

sorry someone I know has been using it since at least 2003. expect the writ in the post.

Hans

Banging on 

Paris Hilton

Couldn't give a fuck about the lack if IT angle, but I would like to object strongly to this line

<quote> "people banging on and on and on and on and on"

Who exactly are these people, and how come they are able to bang so much when I'm lucky if I can get it once a month, in summer only!

C'mon Reg, respect the fact that some readers are less fortunate than others in the banging department, no need to rub our noses in it.

Paris, because she knows a lot about banging and if she'd care to come and teach me I'd willingly defend her honour against the army of El Reg fucktards who maliciously malign her.

Rusty Warrior

Where's the IT angle? 

In the corner with Paris probably...

Hans

and another thing - Bootnotes 

The word Bootnotes makes me think of Bootcamps

Bootcamps ---->Jackboots

Jackboots -----> Nazi goose-stepping

Nazi goose-stepping -----> where's the Max Mosely icon?

Big_Boomer

I'm not ALONE! 

Heart

Lester, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for enlightening me to that fact that I am not the only human male in the UK who finds football (soccer for our NA allies) dull, boring and a pointless waste of truly vast sums of money. At least in Rugby & American Football there is some form of manly violence rather than the airyfairy prancings of a bunch of overpaid wimps who fall over as soon as their bootlace contacts something. That said I'd rather watch

Some friends and I came up with an excellent theory many years ago w.r.t. the nature of collective intelligence. To whit, intelligence is combined the same as resistors in parallel. Take 2 people with IQ's of 120 each and their combined IQ drops to 60. for 3 such people the combined IQ is 40 and so on. This explains the stupidity of gang behaviour and a great many other thing sin life. So, you can probably see that the combined IQ of a full football stadium so closely approaches 1 as to be all but indistinguishable. :-)

As for the non-IT content,....who cares. I've spent all week IT-ing and all I need now is my weekly dose of BOFH and I can go home happy!

Merry Weekend everyone!

Richard

@Sarah Bee 

Coat

The red dots actually show Not Safe for Whiners

Sarah Bee

Re: @Sarah Bee 

(Written by Reg staff)

Yes. What's your point?

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