A New Jersey high school student has been suspended for allegedly drawing up a hit list which included the names of "three students and a school administrator" and, rather ill-advisedly, roundhouse-kicking death machine Chuck Norris. According to the Philadephia Inquirer, the unnamed Pennsauken High School 16-year-old was …
a list of Chuck Norris Jokes....
...Chuck Norris, the only man who can speak Braille. Mark the pupil down as a future Darwin Award winner
Skull n bones - don't mess with Chuck
No sense of humor?
While I applaud the efforts to try to eliminate violence in schools (and everywhere else), it seems to me that since Chuck Norris was on the list, that this was a total fantasy list, not something that's likely to have ever been acted on. "Zero Tolerance" smacks of Gestapo tactics. Is zero tolerance truly appropriate for young people who are likely to make mistakes in life? I'd think getting expelled from school for making a list would be more likely to make a person really bitter, and maybe even "push them over the edge" You're basically throwing a young person's life away over a slight possibility that they might go berserk. I remember making a similar list when I was in school, but I don't own a gun, have never stabbed, shot, or otherwise physically harmed anyone, nor do I plan on it. (although I do have some mild road-rage at times) Times were different back then---I suppose if someone had wanted, they could have brought their knife collection to show-and-tell. Every boy (including myself) had a pocket knife in grade school, but the thought never occurred to any of us to use them to harm another person. An occasional fistfight, more of a dominance thing than trying to really cause damage, was the only real violence back then. Maybe confidential counseling would be appropriate to determine if the person is really a threat...
At least our off-colour thoughts are still safe... for now...
Peter Griffin can speak Braille. 'Bump, bump, no bump, three raised bumps and a square.'
It's as clumsy a neologism as you'd expect from the Yanks.
Personally I prefer the slightly more emphatic "terrortastic"!
Que? Did you mean queue?
Obviously this kid needs to learn some discipline. Somebody call Chuck's agent and see if he has time to teach the kid a little karate.
The teacher "found" this list? Presumably by searching his property or similar?
Exactly how is that "making a threat" if he never meant anyone else to see it?
...isn't scared of Bill Ray.
Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.
I think you both meant 'cue' in the sense of 'to line up' in the sense of 'lots of Chuck Norris jokes are imminent'.
MINE IS THE ONE WITH THE DICTIONARY.
Re: Chuck Norris...
Defense of impossibility?
In the US he could have a defense to attempt or conspiracy to commit, of impossibility lets face it; it's not possible to kill Chuck Norris, so this kid is only guilty of stupidity....
He should be put in charge of education in Kansas .. .he'd get rid of Creationism, and instill norrisism
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Mines the pyjamas...
terroristic? Only in America!
gah! what a crap attempt at a new word!!!
terroristic... Was that is Team America or something?
How about... SuperterroristicAl-Qaedadocious ?
Thats it Pennsauken High is making the list.....
- Bill of Rights
- fat free lard
- Billy Crystal
- the boy
- Stern Lecture Plumbing
- Econo Save
- Pennsauken High
@AC: No sense of humor?
"off-colour"? Sounds racist to me. ZERO TOLERANCE! Expelled.
If kids learn by example, no wonder they're a bunch of little shits.
He was arrested for...
..."making terroristic threats"? Frankly, I'd be more inclined to award the kid a prize for being able to write a comprehensible and coherent list in the first place, given that the background illiteracy count for the area seems to have gone through the roof.
"Terrorist Acts"? For having an obviously fantasy hitlist?
I'd see more of a "terrorist" in a bully than in a kid with an imaginary hitlist. I wonder what would've happened if someone had seen my "People I'd kill if it was legal to do so" list back in secondary school...
Queue / Cue
I think it was "Queue" as in to form an orderly line, rather than "cue" as in snooker...
When I get mad
And I get pissed
I grab my pen
And I write out a list
Of all the people
That won't be missed
You've made my shitlist
@Sarah Bee re Cue/Queue/Que
Damn! Beat me to it. I was going to show them the difference between a queue and a cue - one round the back of the head, and t'other in A&E.
Bloody grammar infidels.
Anyway, congrations, your a winner!
Seems like the only people we have to fear are those who are supposedly protecting us from those who we're supposed to fear!
Presumably, if you made one of those "joe bloggs loves joanne bloggs" thingies where you count up the number of times each of l, o, v, e and s occurs in the names to find out the percentage value of how much the love is true (or something)*, then then you're guilty of intent to commit statutory rape?
* Was that just me? Mine's the smingey brown raincoat...
What's wrong with terroristic? American neologism? -ic is the normal way to form adjectives from words ending in -ist. Therefore terroristic means of or like terrorists.
Queue / cue
It's cue, as in "the signal to perform an action"
Sarah Bee had the right spelling, just not the right definition
Queue / Cue
I thought it was "que", as spelled, missing the question mark.
As in the French "que" = "what"
So "Que?" = "What?"
but that's probably because I have a habit of speaking French / German at people who want me to do things in order to confuse them enough to forget some of the things they want me to do.
Re: Queue / Cue
Actually, I think it's supposed to be cue as 'the actress missed her cue'
Re: Queue / Cue
I'm not completely convinced it isn't 'Kew' as in 'Kew Gardens'.
I hate this newspeak... why don't they just say "intolerant"?
@ Chuck Norris isn't scared of Bill Ray
Where's my t-shirt, dammit?
Re: Queue / Cue
Is it not 'k-you', as in 'Fu'?
Oh dear god... the land of the free...
Here's how it works... this kid is bullied on a regular basis and is probably having a hell of a time at high school and has idle fantasies about beating up people who have caused him hassle. He probably added Chuck because he's like Superman and anyone who beats up on Chuck would get some "respect".
What the school board should have done is offer this kid some help with managing his anger (to be honest writing a list and keeping it in your locker is a pretty healthy way to deal with this sort of anger and a lot better than turning up to school with an AK just because everyone teases you for being an emo as has happened in a number of US institutions). Instead they have branded this guy a psycho which will mean the victimisation will only get worse for the poor kid until he either kills himself or kills a few other people and then himself.
The land of the free, the same place that brought you the Salem Witch Trials.
@ Queue / Cue
Re: Queue / Cue
Surely it's just the single letter 'Q', like in James Bond.
as in :-
Basil Fawlty: Ah, Manuel? There is too much butter on those trays.
Manuel: Que? <------------------------------
Basil Fawlty: [speaking slowly] There is too much butter on those trays.
Manuel: Ah, no senor. No "on those trays"...
[counting the trays]
Manuel: "uno, dos, tres".
1. Become the next US President
2. Open as lead act at the first rock fesival on the moon
3. Kill Chuck Norris in a roundhouse contest
3 is just a dream.
Re: Re: Terroristic
"Personally I prefer the slightly more emphatic "terrortastic"!"
How about "Terrorific"?
Because 'zero tolerance' and 'intolerance' mean different things? Wouldn't be particularly helpful to use a word to mean something other than what that word means, would it?
I like "terrortastic"
reminds me of the line from that film I saw once.
"Ladies can't get enough of my funktactic love"
"Infidels can't get enough of my terrortastic thrusts"
Terroristic terrortards terrorise through terror.
Thing is, I don't feel very terrorified.
How much discussion over one word?! It's Cue. As in a prompt.
Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero :)
There is no queue
Just a line of people Chuck Norris hasn't killed yet ...
Now there's a Terrorgasmicalistic breeding ground if I've never seen one!
Damn those plants with plots and those latin-esque names! Burn them
at the stake!
Re: Queue / Cue
could just be the end of an insult, as in '***k you'
mines the leotard on the peg.
If you can see Chuck Norris
Chuck norris can see you....
If you can't see chuck norris
you may be moments from death!
I don't suppose you are related to the Sarah Bee that contributes to Scarlet? If so, I'd just like to say "Thanks"!
Anonymous because If she isn't, then I've just...<turns red and hides. Forever>
Re: @Sarah Bee
Heh. I have associations with that publication, yes.
Chuck Norris Facts
I'm suprised no one posted this....
@ By Andy
quote: "Burn them at the stake!"
are you sure it's not burn them at the steak? as in barbe CUE/Que/queue/kew/q . . . fu
Better safe than sorry, people
Zero tolerance means better safe than sorry. It's time to close all of these publicly funded terrorist training camps we call "schools". Talk about playing with fire! Allowing children to interact?! How crazy is that!?!? They could murder each other with firearms!!!!
Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.