Que....

a list of Chuck Norris Jokes....

Ahh...

...Chuck Norris, the only man who can speak Braille. Mark the pupil down as a future Darwin Award winner

Skull n bones - don't mess with Chuck

"Terroristic" ?

Oh.

My.

God.

No sense of humor?

While I applaud the efforts to try to eliminate violence in schools (and everywhere else), it seems to me that since Chuck Norris was on the list, that this was a total fantasy list, not something that's likely to have ever been acted on. "Zero Tolerance" smacks of Gestapo tactics. Is zero tolerance truly appropriate for young people who are likely to make mistakes in life? I'd think getting expelled from school for making a list would be more likely to make a person really bitter, and maybe even "push them over the edge" You're basically throwing a young person's life away over a slight possibility that they might go berserk. I remember making a similar list when I was in school, but I don't own a gun, have never stabbed, shot, or otherwise physically harmed anyone, nor do I plan on it. (although I do have some mild road-rage at times) Times were different back then---I suppose if someone had wanted, they could have brought their knife collection to show-and-tell. Every boy (including myself) had a pocket knife in grade school, but the thought never occurred to any of us to use them to harm another person. An occasional fistfight, more of a dominance thing than trying to really cause damage, was the only real violence back then. Maybe confidential counseling would be appropriate to determine if the person is really a threat...

At least our off-colour thoughts are still safe... for now...

Re: Terroristic

It's as clumsy a neologism as you'd expect from the Yanks.

Personally I prefer the slightly more emphatic "terrortastic"!

Chuck Norris...

...isn't scared of Bill Ray.

Re: Ahh...

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

Defense of impossibility?

In the US he could have a defense to attempt or conspiracy to commit, of impossibility lets face it; it's not possible to kill Chuck Norris, so this kid is only guilty of stupidity....

He should be put in charge of education in Kansas .. .he'd get rid of Creationism, and instill norrisism

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Mines the pyjamas...

terroristic? Only in America!

gah! what a crap attempt at a new word!!!

terroristic... Was that is Team America or something?

How about... SuperterroristicAl-Qaedadocious ?

Homer's List?

Thats it Pennsauken High is making the list.....

Revenge list:

- Bill of Rights

- Grandpa

- fat free lard

- gravity

- Emmys

- Darwin

- H2WHOA!

- Billy Crystal

- God

- Soloflex

- the boy

- Stern Lecture Plumbing

- Econo Save

- Pennsauken High

@AC: No sense of humor?

"off-colour"? Sounds racist to me. ZERO TOLERANCE! Expelled.

If kids learn by example, no wonder they're a bunch of little shits.

He was arrested for...

..."making terroristic threats"? Frankly, I'd be more inclined to award the kid a prize for being able to write a comprehensible and coherent list in the first place, given that the background illiteracy count for the area seems to have gone through the roof.

Stoopid

"Terrorist Acts"? For having an obviously fantasy hitlist?

I'd see more of a "terrorist" in a bully than in a kid with an imaginary hitlist. I wonder what would've happened if someone had seen my "People I'd kill if it was legal to do so" list back in secondary school...

L7

When I get mad

And I get pissed

I grab my pen

And I write out a list

Of all the people

That won't be missed

You've made my shitlist

@Sarah Bee re Cue/Queue/Que

Damn! Beat me to it. I was going to show them the difference between a queue and a cue - one round the back of the head, and t'other in A&E.

Bloody grammar infidels.

Anyway, congrations, your a winner!

Terrortard

Seems like the only people we have to fear are those who are supposedly protecting us from those who we're supposed to fear!

hmm..

Presumably, if you made one of those "joe bloggs loves joanne bloggs" thingies where you count up the number of times each of l, o, v, e and s occurs in the names to find out the percentage value of how much the love is true (or something)*, then then you're guilty of intent to commit statutory rape?

* Was that just me? Mine's the smingey brown raincoat...

Queue / Cue

I thought it was "que", as spelled, missing the question mark.

As in the French "que" = "what"

So "Que?" = "What?"

but that's probably because I have a habit of speaking French / German at people who want me to do things in order to confuse them enough to forget some of the things they want me to do.

Re: Queue / Cue

Actually, I think it's supposed to be cue as 'the actress missed her cue'

"zero tolerance"

I hate this newspeak... why don't they just say "intolerant"?

@ Chuck Norris isn't scared of Bill Ray

Where's my t-shirt, dammit?

Re: Queue / Cue

Is it not 'k-you', as in 'Fu'?

Oh dear god... the land of the free...

Here's how it works... this kid is bullied on a regular basis and is probably having a hell of a time at high school and has idle fantasies about beating up people who have caused him hassle. He probably added Chuck because he's like Superman and anyone who beats up on Chuck would get some "respect".

What the school board should have done is offer this kid some help with managing his anger (to be honest writing a list and keeping it in your locker is a pretty healthy way to deal with this sort of anger and a lot better than turning up to school with an AK just because everyone teases you for being an emo as has happened in a number of US institutions). Instead they have branded this guy a psycho which will mean the victimisation will only get worse for the poor kid until he either kills himself or kills a few other people and then himself.

The land of the free, the same place that brought you the Salem Witch Trials.

@ Queue / Cue

¿Qué?

Si si!

Re: Queue / Cue

Surely it's just the single letter 'Q', like in James Bond.

Que?

as in :-

Basil Fawlty: Ah, Manuel? There is too much butter on those trays.

Manuel: Que? <------------------------------

Basil Fawlty: [speaking slowly] There is too much butter on those trays.

Manuel: Ah, no senor. No "on those trays"...

[counting the trays]

Manuel: "uno, dos, tres".

Re: Re: Terroristic

"Personally I prefer the slightly more emphatic "terrortastic"!"

How about "Terrorific"?

It's Cue!!

How much discussion over one word?! It's Cue. As in a prompt.

Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero :)

There is no queue

Just a line of people Chuck Norris hasn't killed yet ...

Kew Gardens!

Now there's a Terrorgasmicalistic breeding ground if I've never seen one!

Damn those plants with plots and those latin-esque names! Burn them

at the stake!

Re: Queue / Cue

could just be the end of an insult, as in '***k you'

mines the leotard on the peg.

@Sarah Bee

I don't suppose you are related to the Sarah Bee that contributes to Scarlet? If so, I'd just like to say "Thanks"!

Anonymous because If she isn't, then I've just...<turns red and hides. Forever>

Better safe than sorry, people

Zero tolerance means better safe than sorry. It's time to close all of these publicly funded terrorist training camps we call "schools". Talk about playing with fire! Allowing children to interact?! How crazy is that!?!? They could murder each other with firearms!!!!

Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.