Oh, baby. IBM is hitting its "move off HP and Sun" program harder than Amy Winehouse hits a crack pipe. During a launch event today for new Power servers, IBM reminded customers and press again and again and again about its pay-to-port effort. IBM will hand customers up to $4,000 per core if they shift from a rival box to one of …
When I read the byline "Dump a Superdome. Go to the Bahamas" I was worried that IBM had found a salespitch that might actually make the CIO want to cash in a Superdome! Luckily, they chose to force the buyer to use the "points" to buy pointless IBM Services.... Phew! I mean, selling your customers AIX/Power, the pain of a nasty migration, and then inflicting IBM Services on them too!?!?! That's just vicous!
IBM are targeting HP because they know it's a two-horse race - Sun's top-end enterprise bizz is dead on its feet, Rock is a distant glimmer of vapourware, and Itanium in the shape of HP Integrity is the only option taking share from IBM Power. Don't believe me then just check the IDC and Gartner figures (as quoted here at El Reg). And because HP are taking share from IBM, so IBM need these whacky offers to try and staunch the flow of sales going to HP.
Stevie Will Offer Some Of His LSD Stash If You Buy an Unwanted X-Server!
Stevie Gods still has a few dozen gallon paint cans full of Timothy Leary's best brew left (you know the cheap bastard bogarts his weed and LSD), but since absolutely NO ONE is buying those over-price POS X-Servers, Stevie says he'll give a tab per core if you Apple Kool Aid Drinkers (sorry, only arsenic in the Kool Aid) will spend some more of your "stupid money".
Look, you can get high after you buy one on the tab and pretend that the POS X-Server actually works! Just gaze and gaze at the Spinning Beach Ball .. spin n spin n spin n spin n spin n spin n spin n spin n spin .......
Big Blue in Modern World
The most powerful processors around (flame wisely), neat all-in one solutions, and the matching prices. You'd think they would target large corps with plenty-o-BOFH (read "a powerful IT department"), the ones that don't really need to spend gazillions on lame tech support. Winning move: offer substantial price cuts for migration. Marketting department solution: tie the price cuts to useless tech support subscription. How appropriate. Reminds me of the Dell "institutional deal" (in France, when I worked there): 20% cut-off provided you purchase the 1-year on-site assistance thing. Which means: you have the right to buy the boxes for the normal price AND you can't fix them by yourself or you void the warranty (for those of you who don't know Dell's wonderful on-site assistance: it is something you DON'T want unless you really don't know anything at all about electronics or computers AND you're ready to wait for ages). Targetted institutions: unis loaded with smart-ass geeks able to build a supercomputer out of vacuum cleaner spares. Yay Dell!
Smart move, Big Blue. Now you might want to learn how things are in the real world.
I might have missed something here, maybe it's part of a new strategy: target home users and small organizations. Mwahahahahahaha.
Paris because, well, she doesn't come cheap either. But I still don't need tech support.
I bet it's with BA.
Mwhohahahaha - all those IBM customers stuck at T5 or waiting for bags..
We had a network administrator who had very nice vacations all over the world until the management realized that he selected the gears by who gave most miles - in US for some strange reason companies buy from third hand, not from vendor? So there are always some kinds of perks included - I just wonder how IRS looks that?
When the chips are up
I noticed that the home groan news has been missed on here whilst in the USA Groklaw noticed that the BBC have climbed into bed with Intel:
A nice passion killer for the OLPC which, it has to be said, is one of Groklaw's favoured children.
HP and IBM can have at each other to no one's detriment but what the hell is the BBC doing posting this effluent?
It is a carefully worded piece though, that looks like a direct quote from Intel Marketing.
No takers here?
Understanding IBM sales tactics
The whole point of *all* IBM's products (hardware & software) is to get Global Services entrenched in your organisation and then start to gouge... sort of like bait & switch taken to its logical extreme.
This is just another way of acheiving that end wrapped up as a 'customer offer'
Where's the IT angle?
We're all off to sunny Spain...........Viva Espana
Great, IT's already huge carbon footprint increases massively. Thanks IBM.
Don't be a menace to the El Reg comments section while smoking your crack in the hood.
@ Peter, Tuomo, AC etc...
I am embarrassed for you. They're not literally giving away air miles. Did you read the article or just comment on the tagline?
You're a bloody idiot.
At least if you're going to try and smack down a reliable piece of hardware with a low TCO, you could try and spell it right.
Paris, because she probably can't spell anything right.
RE: Harvey Trowell
Well, to be honest, I only read the article 'cos of the byline, as there's someone who's really annoyed me recently and it was kind of a karmic balance idea that I could recommend he spends his budget on replacing his old PA-RISC SD with an AIX box. Then I can let him manage his own migration, whilst I escape on a trip to Barbados, leaving him to deal with IBM Global Diservices..... Yes, I can be that mean!!
I'll have the one with the legend "9 out of 10 BOFHins prefer quick-drying cement!"
IBM - how green are we!
So change to IBM and increase your carbon foot print!!
All I have to add to this discussion is this:
That was a low blow on Amy but damn funny needed the laugh today. Thanks
@fluffels .... Aren't Macs made for idiots?
Must be why you're using one .... except when the Beach Ball is spinning and spinning .....
Why bother to learn Apple's "cleaver" product names, when NO BODY USES THEM? You must already be sampling Stevie's stash since you're delusional enough to think anyone cares how it's spelled ... or what your moronic name calling (typical AppleTards) retorts are. See that's what all MacTards resort to, name calling instead of being cleaver. Must not be a keyboard shortcut for "cleaver" on those Macs. See that's cleaver, but you and MacTards don't know how to do that ... can't key stroke it on your own. Have to have brains.
mac flame war
How the hell did you guys managed to turn this into a "mac-nomac" flame war? You're damn good! (especially given the "glorious" benchmark performances of macs these days. Not that I am biased, of course.)
BTW, Intel sux moose balls, yay AMD. Vista wouldn't run even if chased by a grizzly bear. Rumor has it that Leopard will legally have to be renamed "Apple OSsuX" because any other name would be deceptive. Jobs and Ballmer are so gay that they have been spotted making out together by a GoogleStreet reporter. Phorm will save the world.
FLAME ON! YAY!
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- Business is back, baby! Hasta la VISTA, Win 8... Oh, yeah, Windows 9