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back to article Teacher's head explodes due to Wi-Fi, mobe radiation

New research carried out for British newspapers and broadcasters has revealed conclusive evidence that wireless technologies are in fact a severe hazard to human health. In one controversial experiment, a middle-aged sociology teacher's head was actually caused to explode by a combination of Wi-Fi transmissions, deadly mobile …

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Joke

is that so..

April fool I reckon!

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Paris Hilton

nice one

I'm guessing that this is the true article for the day.

Paris agrees with me.

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Coat

Bad timing

You see, people won't believe this as it's April 1st. In future, please post shocking stories like this on other days of the year.

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Coat

LOL

I bet the tin foil hat brigade forget it's april fools day and use it as more ammunition to make the existance of the electromagnetic spectrum illegal. Arguably if it wasn't an april fools day, would the world miss a sociology teacher? (one of my housemates did sociology at uni, had a 2 hour week and claimed it wasn't a dos subject, now is putting all those good sociological skills to use by working at the checkouts in tescos)

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Stop

Does this not remind you of :

http://www.wellingtongrey.net/miscellanea/archive/2007-05-27--the-truth-about-wireless-devices.html

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Next Year.

Try something a little more believable.

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Unhappy

err...

The URL is a bit of a giveaway isn't it?

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Flame

Brilliant!

Superb!

Just bloody gutted the url gives away the damned joke when I forward it to my Indy reading technophobe 'mates',

Bon

(Flame, for the exploding head)

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Happy

Ha Ha

"In the interests of good taste the Reg has refrained from linking to the vid."

As if!!!

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Paris Hilton

Big scoop

Wow! What a scoop for El Reg to have been first to press with this story. I am surprised that the mainstream media have not mentioned this at all - today of all days.

Paris cos she probably would have swallowed this - along with all the other things she has swallowed.

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Happy

This is awful!

On reading this story I immediately switched off my wireless router. I'm sending this message by stealing bandwidth from a neighbour. I just hope you get the message before the end of 1st April :)

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Gav
Boffin

Very poor

You could have at least made it half way believable. Who's this going to fool?

Everyone knows it's txtspek that mks teachrs head expld.

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It's official.

The Reg is now The Onion. Thanks Lewis for making my day...

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Coat

Ha Ha Ha ...

... graphic, if disturbing, evidence. In the interests of good taste the Reg has refrained from linking to the vid. Also, it has been taken down.

...

I got the joke ... the reg refrained from something for reasons of good taste?

Ok, so where is the link?

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Coat

Umm...April Fools?

My coat just burst into flames!

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Dead Vulture

Subtle and believable

...are two words I wouldn't use to describe this clumsy April Fool attempt. My personal favourite of the day so far is http://www.pocket-lint.co.uk/news/news.phtml/13713/14737/dynamo-keyboard-april-fool-iwoot.phtml

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very good

hahaha

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O RLY..??

Can I be the first to call ... FAKE!!!!11!!one

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Paris Hilton

@ Anon Coward

"(one of my housemates did sociology at uni, had a 2 hour week and claimed it wasn't a dos subject"

They still do dos in Unis? Education cut-back are getting worse.

(Paris, because we can)

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New Features

I reckon it's all down to that chip that's recently been uncovered:

http://www.londonlx.com/thechip.html

Maybe that's why they hadn't released information about it before if it caused people's heads to explode

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Silver badge
Go

Easy enough

It's all down to focussed microwave radiation.

The phones were acting as an antenna that drew in and focussed the radiation from the school's industrial strength microwave oven (anyone having tried microwave popcorn in one will know that the bag catches fire in a minute or two).

The nature of the phone signals mean that the microwave radiation is reverse-phased which defeats the normal shielding.

The focussed radiation then rapidly boils the fluids in the brain resulting in the usual 'egg in a microwave' situation.

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Happy

April Fool

And for another April Fool - it's my birthday!

(Oh, actually that's true. Damn. 34 today, happy birthday to me, celebrate another year's futile existence in the software industry, etc...)

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Black Helicopters

If that is so why do I sleep better with the wireless off?

While laughing at luddites and technofreaks is fun there is still a nagging question. Based on personal experience I get much better sleep if there are fewer 2.4GHz emitters around.

I have done some unintentional blind testing on that myself on a few occasions by buggering up the cronjobs and the scripts that turn the 802.11 and Bluetooth on and off. I also know a few other people who have very similar observations.

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Hmm is it April 1st already!?

Ive just taken a sledge hammer to my wireless router. I'm now in a Wi-Fi Cold-spot.

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Bronze badge

I don't belive this..

There is no way to upload to YouTube "in real time", they don't have H.263 support.

Simon

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Think of the poor children

who had to whitness such a traumtizing spectical.

The fact that one of the children thought it was 'Cool' shows how desensitized they have become from playing constant violent video games.

SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!!!

If banning everything saves one innocent life then I will happily stick my head in a microwave.

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Silver badge

It should be

brainspatter, not brainsplatter!

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IT Angle

RFID chip

Maybe he was trying to burn out the RFID chip in his head?

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Coat

not for long

"They still do dos in Unis? Education cut-back are getting worse"

yes they do but the uni should be upgrading to state of the art OS/2 Warp next year.

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Paris Hilton

School Report...

for El Reg.

April Fools Gags - Must Try Harder!

Even She'd spot that one!

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And what about the ozone produced by all that energy?

Check this out:

http://www.johnandchris.screaming.net/

Well?

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Coat

class act

Ahhhh, the classics

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Gaz
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Tin Foil hat brigade?

"Reportedly, the headgear used a downward-oriented parabolic dish made from thin metallic sheeting"

Nice, like it :)

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Meanwhile, back in the '50s

"It just blew up, man" - was this kid using words like 'daddy-o' and 'square' too?

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Silver badge

Already been done

Wasn't the scene from "Scanners" the cult head-exploding moment?

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Coat

mythbusters

anyone fancy emailing it to the boys on discoverys mythbusters show to see if theyll replicat it in glorious 6000fps slow motion ;)

AC

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Paris Hilton

Any more?

OK, Reg

That's at least two April fool jokes and counting.

What you need to do is find a story that is - on the surface - totally ludicrous ... and yet true! That way everyone who thinks the a real story is a April fool joke will look stupid.

...Paris, it is alleged, is not just an 'April fool' but an 'All year round fool'

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thanks for getting this out...

I just chucked all of the wireless access point in our business.

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Flame

April Fool or not

You are guilty of using the forbidden word "mobe".

There is no excuse for this behavior.

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Lame!

Must try harder next year.

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Coat

Arrggghhhh were all gonna die!!!

hrmmm

as one of the tin-foil hat brigade (they do help btw..(9 out of 10 NY tramps can't be wrong))

here are some linkies that might proove were not all insane (though it helps to be to work in IT).

UK National Press this last weekend.. regarding a publication last week by Dr Vini Khurana in Austraila.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-wellbeing/health-news/public-health-the-hidden-menace-of-mobile-phones-396225.html

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-wellbeing/health-news/mobile-phones-more-dangerous-than-smoking-or-asbestos-802602.html

full published article here http://www.brain-surgery.us/

pity the Reg etc wont publish this comment, cos they got lots of 3G freebies for xmass from the phone industry as a backhander to keep it all quiet(whilst we all die of brain cancer) and they are partying it up in soho with paul raymonds grandaughters.(enjoy the party guys, while it lasts, you were warned)(wonder if the Macmillian Trust will get extra funding now)?

mines the scorched foil one..

Illuminatus. ;p

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Stop

April Fools...

There really seems to be a heavy push on the April Fools stories this year...

I have to admit I was a little downhearted when I realised that I didn't believe the story because El Reg didn't put the word 'freetard' in it.

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Happy

A bit implausible...

" .. In the interests of good taste the Reg has refrained from linking to the vid. .. "

You blew it! I was totally suckered in until you gave the game away with that completely ridiculous suggestion!

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@ Ian Bonham

"They still do dos in Unis?"

Yes, Yes they do, at least I had a module that involved using dos sometime after 2003.

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Fools rush in...

@ O RLY..??

"Can I be the first to call ... FAKE!"

No. About a million commentards beast you to it. Next.

@Wayland Sothcott

"... whitness such a traumtizing spectical."

Oy! What's with the anagram of my nom-de-plume? You're making a traumatising spectacle of yourself, man ;)

PS I had such awful teachers at school that I really wanted the story to be true.

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Happy

I wish I can....

Blow Up My Principal's Head Like That.. .

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Dead Vulture

Unfortunate inadvertent bad taste

This would be a lot more funny if a teacher hadn't just been hospitalised by bullying pupils. Bad form, El Reg. Show some common decency.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7324127.stm

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Boffin

@ Sceptic Basturt

Did you mean "beast" me to it..??

I'm stealing it anyway, even if you didn't...

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Boffin

The primary danger is from the thin metallic sheet

Fortunately, my on-head turbine's parabolic dish is made of felt. Provides thermal and kinetic shock absorption, whilst not focusing those lethal Marconi rays!

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@Vladimir Plouzhnikov

Shouldn't that be trainspotter?

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