Teacher's head explodes due to Wi-Fi, mobe radiation
New research carried out for British newspapers and broadcasters has revealed conclusive evidence that wireless technologies are in fact a severe hazard to human health. In one controversial experiment, a middle-aged sociology teacher's head was actually caused to explode by a combination of Wi-Fi transmissions, deadly mobile …
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nice one
I'm guessing that this is the true article for the day.
Paris agrees with me.
Bad timing
You see, people won't believe this as it's April 1st. In future, please post shocking stories like this on other days of the year.
LOL
I bet the tin foil hat brigade forget it's april fools day and use it as more ammunition to make the existance of the electromagnetic spectrum illegal. Arguably if it wasn't an april fools day, would the world miss a sociology teacher? (one of my housemates did sociology at uni, had a 2 hour week and claimed it wasn't a dos subject, now is putting all those good sociological skills to use by working at the checkouts in tescos)
Does this not remind you of :
http://www.wellingtongrey.net/miscellanea/archive/2007-05-27--the-truth-about-wireless-devices.html
Brilliant!
Superb!
Just bloody gutted the url gives away the damned joke when I forward it to my Indy reading technophobe 'mates',
Bon
(Flame, for the exploding head)
Ha Ha
"In the interests of good taste the Reg has refrained from linking to the vid."
As if!!!
Big scoop
Wow! What a scoop for El Reg to have been first to press with this story. I am surprised that the mainstream media have not mentioned this at all - today of all days.
Paris cos she probably would have swallowed this - along with all the other things she has swallowed.
This is awful!
On reading this story I immediately switched off my wireless router. I'm sending this message by stealing bandwidth from a neighbour. I just hope you get the message before the end of 1st April :)
Very poor
You could have at least made it half way believable. Who's this going to fool?
Everyone knows it's txtspek that mks teachrs head expld.
It's official.
The Reg is now The Onion. Thanks Lewis for making my day...
Ha Ha Ha ...
... graphic, if disturbing, evidence. In the interests of good taste the Reg has refrained from linking to the vid. Also, it has been taken down.
...
I got the joke ... the reg refrained from something for reasons of good taste?
Ok, so where is the link?
Subtle and believable
...are two words I wouldn't use to describe this clumsy April Fool attempt. My personal favourite of the day so far is http://www.pocket-lint.co.uk/news/news.phtml/13713/14737/dynamo-keyboard-april-fool-iwoot.phtml
@ Anon Coward
"(one of my housemates did sociology at uni, had a 2 hour week and claimed it wasn't a dos subject"
They still do dos in Unis? Education cut-back are getting worse.
(Paris, because we can)
New Features
I reckon it's all down to that chip that's recently been uncovered:
http://www.londonlx.com/thechip.html
Maybe that's why they hadn't released information about it before if it caused people's heads to explode
Easy enough
It's all down to focussed microwave radiation.
The phones were acting as an antenna that drew in and focussed the radiation from the school's industrial strength microwave oven (anyone having tried microwave popcorn in one will know that the bag catches fire in a minute or two).
The nature of the phone signals mean that the microwave radiation is reverse-phased which defeats the normal shielding.
The focussed radiation then rapidly boils the fluids in the brain resulting in the usual 'egg in a microwave' situation.
April Fool
And for another April Fool - it's my birthday!
(Oh, actually that's true. Damn. 34 today, happy birthday to me, celebrate another year's futile existence in the software industry, etc...)
If that is so why do I sleep better with the wireless off?
While laughing at luddites and technofreaks is fun there is still a nagging question. Based on personal experience I get much better sleep if there are fewer 2.4GHz emitters around.
I have done some unintentional blind testing on that myself on a few occasions by buggering up the cronjobs and the scripts that turn the 802.11 and Bluetooth on and off. I also know a few other people who have very similar observations.
Hmm is it April 1st already!?
Ive just taken a sledge hammer to my wireless router. I'm now in a Wi-Fi Cold-spot.
I don't belive this..
There is no way to upload to YouTube "in real time", they don't have H.263 support.
Simon
Think of the poor children
who had to whitness such a traumtizing spectical.
The fact that one of the children thought it was 'Cool' shows how desensitized they have become from playing constant violent video games.
SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!!!
If banning everything saves one innocent life then I will happily stick my head in a microwave.
RFID chip
Maybe he was trying to burn out the RFID chip in his head?
not for long
"They still do dos in Unis? Education cut-back are getting worse"
yes they do but the uni should be upgrading to state of the art OS/2 Warp next year.
School Report...
for El Reg.
April Fools Gags - Must Try Harder!
Even She'd spot that one!
And what about the ozone produced by all that energy?
Check this out:
http://www.johnandchris.screaming.net/
Well?
Tin Foil hat brigade?
"Reportedly, the headgear used a downward-oriented parabolic dish made from thin metallic sheeting"
Nice, like it :)
Meanwhile, back in the '50s
"It just blew up, man" - was this kid using words like 'daddy-o' and 'square' too?
Already been done
Wasn't the scene from "Scanners" the cult head-exploding moment?
mythbusters
anyone fancy emailing it to the boys on discoverys mythbusters show to see if theyll replicat it in glorious 6000fps slow motion ;)
AC
Any more?
OK, Reg
That's at least two April fool jokes and counting.
What you need to do is find a story that is - on the surface - totally ludicrous ... and yet true! That way everyone who thinks the a real story is a April fool joke will look stupid.
...Paris, it is alleged, is not just an 'April fool' but an 'All year round fool'
thanks for getting this out...
I just chucked all of the wireless access point in our business.
April Fool or not
You are guilty of using the forbidden word "mobe".
There is no excuse for this behavior.
Arrggghhhh were all gonna die!!!
hrmmm
as one of the tin-foil hat brigade (they do help btw..(9 out of 10 NY tramps can't be wrong))
here are some linkies that might proove were not all insane (though it helps to be to work in IT).
UK National Press this last weekend.. regarding a publication last week by Dr Vini Khurana in Austraila.
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-wellbeing/health-news/public-health-the-hidden-menace-of-mobile-phones-396225.html
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-wellbeing/health-news/mobile-phones-more-dangerous-than-smoking-or-asbestos-802602.html
full published article here http://www.brain-surgery.us/
pity the Reg etc wont publish this comment, cos they got lots of 3G freebies for xmass from the phone industry as a backhander to keep it all quiet(whilst we all die of brain cancer) and they are partying it up in soho with paul raymonds grandaughters.(enjoy the party guys, while it lasts, you were warned)(wonder if the Macmillian Trust will get extra funding now)?
mines the scorched foil one..
Illuminatus. ;p
April Fools...
There really seems to be a heavy push on the April Fools stories this year...
I have to admit I was a little downhearted when I realised that I didn't believe the story because El Reg didn't put the word 'freetard' in it.
A bit implausible...
" .. In the interests of good taste the Reg has refrained from linking to the vid. .. "
You blew it! I was totally suckered in until you gave the game away with that completely ridiculous suggestion!
@ Ian Bonham
"They still do dos in Unis?"
Yes, Yes they do, at least I had a module that involved using dos sometime after 2003.
Fools rush in...
@ O RLY..??
"Can I be the first to call ... FAKE!"
No. About a million commentards beast you to it. Next.
@Wayland Sothcott
"... whitness such a traumtizing spectical."
Oy! What's with the anagram of my nom-de-plume? You're making a traumatising spectacle of yourself, man ;)
PS I had such awful teachers at school that I really wanted the story to be true.
Unfortunate inadvertent bad taste
This would be a lot more funny if a teacher hadn't just been hospitalised by bullying pupils. Bad form, El Reg. Show some common decency.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7324127.stm
@ Sceptic Basturt
Did you mean "beast" me to it..??
I'm stealing it anyway, even if you didn't...
The primary danger is from the thin metallic sheet
Fortunately, my on-head turbine's parabolic dish is made of felt. Provides thermal and kinetic shock absorption, whilst not focusing those lethal Marconi rays!
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