Does anyone actually know of a good service they provide?

Paris, because she would have probably been happy to build castles and towers...

Didn't anyone notice this and think it a bit strange?

Postman Pat would never have delivered that lot.

So have I.

"Our service provider, Capita......"

There's yer problem, right there. They ain't know as "Crapita" for nothing. The only mystery here is why Government departments at all levels persist in hiring them, despite repeated proof that they couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.

"Oh, so you want proof of payment do you........"

3000 items at 22p per item (second class discount rate) £660

Money well spent Ken!

I was so hoping it was K*nt Ertugral..

When I closed my Barclaycard about 2 years ago I paid off what I thought was the final balance. I then got my 'last' statement saying I still owed them 53 pence. I went into the bank and spoke to them and after having a chuckle with the account manager handed them 53p in CASH (no cheques here matey!). Then she asked me for the cards which I handed to her in bits as i'd already cut them up. She said thankyou very much and that will be the end of it. It's now 2 years later and every three months I get a paper statement through the door from Barclaycard telling me that they owe me 53p. FFS. Forget about it - I'm not bothered, really. Just stop destroying the forests in order to tell me of your ineptitude. :/

is convert his heating to run on "biomass", and keep asking TfL for reciepts. Should be able to save the planet that way!

for(i=0;i<3000;i++) issue_bill(); /* fuck it, 3000 should do */

"The wood pulp used to make paper comes almost entirely from North American and Northern European pine forests"

Including the forest that surrounds the village where I live, which creates local jobs and (in theory) keeps our local taxes down.

Keep printing those receipts, Ken!

thats got to be the first time i've ever heard a tfK representative not blame the 'customer' somehow, ken must be up for election

This comes back to one of my pet peeves: that putting "systems" in place stops people using judgement. Instead of asking "is this person a pervert who'll interfere with the children?", or "I think we want to keep half an eye on X, don't you?" we have progressed to "All the system checks are OK, so we're covered".

Or, put another way, "Computer says no".

As the bored operative who, having got fed up with pressing "Ok" on the print dialog box for the millionth time that morning decided to change the no of copies from 1 to 3000 "for a laugh"

Heart 'cos I can sympathise with that kind of job

The guy( beardy one) who owns or runs crapita wears white jeans. Say no more.

I know this cause i shared an elevator with him in London once while i was going to the HO to be fired, for refusing to drive car that i didnt need as i lived next door to my job.

"i was going to the HO to be fired, for refusing to drive car that i didnt need as i lived next door to my job."

You dared not waste tax payers money?! Crazy fool - your fired!!! lol...

"This comes back to one of my pet peeves: that putting "systems" in place stops people using judgement. Instead of asking "is this person a pervert who'll interfere with the children?", or "I think we want to keep half an eye on X, don't you?" we have progressed to "All the system checks are OK, so we're covered"."

My favourite is credit scoring, whereby the bank that holds my loan can refuse to extend the loan because I don't meet their criteria - despite the fact the monthly payments (never missed) would remain the same and I earn twice what I did when I took the loan out (and for a FTSE 100 company rather than for a sole trader).

I, for one, look forward to welcoming our Skynet system overlords. At least I can run around with laser cannons shooting them then.

Mine's the DJ.

Wow I needed that laugh today... I quit the nicotine and I was hurting...

I can just imagine the "envelope sealer" guy at Capita staring at the 8th reem of paper needed for the reciepts and assuming that the client really did requested 3500 reciepts...

Envelope sealer guy: "Ummm... boss...?"

PHB: "What is it PFY?"

Envelope sealer guy: "Eh, nevermind"

So I guess you could say all Capita are guilty of is "Pushing the Envelope" (well 3000 of them).