A baby seal walks into a club...

/Mine's the fur lined one.

Club the activists.

Please leave the penguins alone.

...they could combine this with clubbing as we know it they would have a REAL tourist attraction.

7:00pm - Hit the bar, start drinking.

8:00pm - Start a ponderous bar-crawl towards the nearest clubbing-club

somwhere around 10-11ish (noone is taking any notice of the time as blood alcohol levels rise) - Arrive at the clubbing-club. Drinking moves on to spirits/mixers/whetever happens to be on special offer, hit the dance floor with lound music blaring, or start chatting up that stunning bird (who you KNOW will not be stunning the next morning after the beer taxi calls, but you dont care)

Midnight - Clubs, mallets, and any other blunt objects are handed out to the clientelle, and hundreds of baby seals are released onto the dance floor. LET THE CLUBBING COMMENCE!

Come to think of it, it may even stop all the drunken fights that happen at the taxi stand as everyone has already taken out their aggression on the furballs.

Oh, I forgot, around 3-4am - Arrive home, wash the blood and guts off if you can be bothered, then either fall asleep or shag the little minx you managed to lure back to your lair (possibly still covered in said bodily fluids and internal organs of the furballs).

Mine's the fur-lined leather coat, goes well with my crocodile-skin boots

Would you like some cheese with that whine?

I'll have a lager and a large Canadian Club for the seal please.

Yes, I know, but it's waterproof and warm.

Me and my girl sealclubbing

Me and my girl out on the ice

Me and my girl sealclubbing

Me and my girl, ooh how nice

Half Man Half Biscuit - Back in the D.H.S.S

Thirsty... Canadian Club on the rocks anyone?

Sorry - the old ones smell the funniest... having a great deal of trouble seeing the word "Canadian" without also thinking about the term "flip-top head". Icon for her classic version of "head".

OMG - did I actually TYPE that?

Come on boys, it's time to get conservatin! *loads shotgun*

Mine's the one with the Futurama DVD in it, which I'm sure had an episode set on Pluto with a much funnier version of that joke.

I eat meat, wear leather, love humans, and am not a supporter of rabid eco-fundamentalists* but I have to say I regard this annual 'hunt' as a shameful embarrassment to my country.

*Which means that I won't be wishing harm on the 'hunters' as the less civilised members of the eco industry will be doing.

If only my website could get that many hits!

IIRC, these are the guys who were throwing acid on the Japanese whaling ships. I would like to see them try that tactic on a group of 6'4", 250lb loggers, each wielding a club....

Thanks to AC - "Based on Lies" @ 1413. As a Canadian (living in the UK), every year I get grief because of the propaganda surrounding this. Nice to see some people not taken in by the "cute lil seals!!!!" BS.

I wonder what would happen if the seal hunt was incorporated into the production of bio-fuels? Would we see a lot greenies' heads imploding as they tried to assimilate the data?

@Based on lies.

Thanks for that useful information. As a Canadian I should have been aware of that.

suggest change of URL to include "barenakedladies".... and they're Canadian too so that's nicely relevant.

Funny how it is deemed necessary to kill the seals because they eat *our* fish, and that fish stocks only dropped in the era of powered fishing boats.

A nasty bloody business, and of course all about money.

Change the word SEAL into the word COAT in 3 moves...

SEAL

CLUB

CLUB

CLUB

COAT

Mine's the thermal outfit with browny-red stains....

I reckon if the hunters used precise rifles with only one shot to the seal's head then there would be less controversy. Its the image of people out there with clubs bashing seals on the head, with their blood strewn over the white snow, that causes anguish. Canadians need to learn about marketing and PR from their US cousins.

I'm against the cull, but if it's going to happen the Canadians should make it as humane (in the sense of the humans acting in a humane and treating the seals with some compassion) as possible.

The EU is to try and introduce a ban on seal pelts; not sure if this will have the desired effect if the justification for the cull is to preserve fish stocks. We could try and boycott Canadian products but apart from the Blackberry I can't think of what else there is to avoid !

Paris because she'd shed a tear for the seals and go and support the protesters while wrapped up in a fur coat...

It's a pretty unique meat - very greasy. As an old Innu once told me, "Caribou will fill your belly, seal will keep you warm". And it's not like there's any fish left to eat!

At the bottom of this page... we have google ads. The first two:

Ads by Google

Flip Off Seals

Order Flip Off Seals here Flip off seals in several colors

www.isss.biz/flip-off-seals.htm

Security Seals

Hunting For Security Seals? We Identify The Options.

TenaciousDeals.com

I don't care about cute baby seals being clubbed to death. Unless it improves my bottom line. And I'm not talking fur lined underwear here.

Mine's the one with "Green Piss"

Is the world really that large nowadays that people still refer to our country as one, giant, borderless, cultureless land mass? Get real people. There is a very small portion of our population under scrutiny here. VERY small. . . I highly doubt there are people who will travel the nearly 4000 Km from the opposite side of the country just to club a seal. I won't even get out of bed to smack the cat when it scratches the carpet. Of the 30,000,000 people that live in Canada, how many do you think are gonna be out on the ice with a weapon? So what if they practice a "culling" (though I would use the word massacre, not being a supporter of the event) once a year? We don't execute retards, we don't shoot people based on skin color -- or hang them or chase them down in trucks or hold rallies against them -- and we try our best to elect fairly sane, independent thinking leaders. Now that I've laid down a good stereotype, how many Americans are pissed off that I said that? Sucks to be lumped into a category based on the COUNTRY you live in, isn't it? That goes for you, too, Reg. We don't all say "eh" or "aboot" and we CERTAINLY do not all appreciate being associated with what happens in a small part of part our country with a small number of residents.

@Ned Ludd: Alternatively, if the hunters are allowed guns, the animals should be too. America would be a better place if the right to bear arms were balanced by a right to arm bears.

Mine's the blue anorak...

@Gordon Pryra: "If there are so many seals that they affect "our fish industry" why don't we just cull the humans?"

Funny, I don't see anybody worrying about the fish -- seems to me they get eaten either way. Perhaps they aren't furry and cuddly enough?

I am entirely in favor of Moose clubbing.

And then, of course, there's the possibility Paris clubbing...

Vegetarian, living in Canada. I have no time for the people who whine on about this kind of thing without the slightest consideration for philosophical consistency.

If you're going to complain about Canadian seal culling or Japanese whaling, you should also stop eating meat, wearing fur or leather or any other animal product, and (arguably) drinking or eating any animal byproduct unless you're damn sure about the welfare of the animal it came from. Otherwise, you are frankly just blowing smoke.

Personally I wouldn't go out and club a seal, nor would I go out and shoot a cow in the head, which is why I don't eat meat. But I'm perfectly well aware that this is a minority position, and thus I'm perfectly okay with accepting that there are people who don't consider it wrong to shoot cows in the head, eat the meat that comes from shooting cows in the head, hunt whales, or club seals to death. I don't agree with them, but hey, I don't agree with lots of people on lots of things, and we get along fine.

If seal culls make you uneasy, then by all means, consciously refrain from going out and beating a seal to death today or any *other* day. But if you're going to make a big fuss about it, please be aware that there's about a 99.9% chance you're a giant stinking hypocrite.

If they pop the seals around the arctic, will the cold get out?

We mustn't be too sensitive about stereotyping. We are dealing with products of the British educational system after all...

Paris 'cause she's better than a sharp pointy stick. Or club.

I think Mr Bush is working on that right now.

--Pete

Twaddle, the campaign against the seal hunt used the white seal pups to such good effect that the canadian gov banned the culling of them as an attempt to side step the emotional issue. Like you say most people would not feel quite the same for the older gray pups, what that i smell, oh yeah, hypocrisy and bullshit don't you just love it.

p.s. hope you fall through the ice.

I only reference this remark because it tweaked something in my memory leading to this thought....

275,000 seals per year (*5) = 1,375,000 (approx.) = the estimate of Iraqis killed in Iraq since 2003 - perhaps a bit on the high side but not that far out of the ball park.

In grade 8 (31 years ago OMG!) I debated this very hunt while blissfully ignorant of the word 'genocide'. Three decades later the seals are still going strong but the Iraq population is declining because of an over zealous cull.

We live IN the environment, not separate from it, which calls for responsible involvement. But in this case lets, for pity's sake get our priorities straight.

If the seals had arms they'd be clubbing Canadians.

They're coming right at us!

Or, let's thin their numbers!

Whatever it is uncle Jimbo is required to say this year.

Yes the seals are to blame for the dwindling fish stock, using the Canadian educational system.

Hunters love the buzz of killing seals but will never admit it when not talking among themselves.

Reminds me of the intellect of english up north. Yorkshire sheep-shaggers and northerm monkey. THe level of IQ displayed every weekend during a football game.

As usual, if White Males do it then it's OK, especially as SEALS ARE ECONOMIC TERRORISTS who eat all the fish before the same White Males can over-fish them! Bloody seals! Death's too good for 'em, etc.

MEANWHILE, if the Japanese want to go shoot a couple of whales or a hundred, we call them heartles primatives, murderous bastards, etc. etc.

Long live double standards!

Hello Ron,

Mother nature looks after popualtions better and for longer then we ever did or have. There for I think your point is pants. Who are We(humans) to decide who or what lives or dies? thats just human arrogance and we should be ashamed for it. I find it hard to believe that a moder (civalised) nation like Canada still commits such brutal acts. There are more efficiant methods to cull a heard or large number of animal then a big lump of Hawthorn. You can know out a field of cows with smoke pellets of certaisn chemicals and these are used for mass inspections or inocculations of cattle and such like in certain cercumstances. This I think would be better if they feel they must cull. How ever the nuts and short n curlys of the issue are this: SEAL FUR IS A commodity. As long as people continue to wear fur this will happen.

The few seals the Inuits get is one thing; and they do have cultural collateral and nesscesity to fall back is one thing, but killing like this some tart can have a seal fur coat is just not on anymore.

So again like many arrogant acts Humans do against Mother nature, I'm sure it will continue. Shame on you Canada.

Blame Canada.

Its not about sentimentality, Its about the fact that its not our place to play god, creator, decide,r on life what ever. Why dont the people in the depressed rual areas simply move if they can not find a way of making a living in some other way. I

m a paddy and I had to move when there was no work in my town I didnt go out smashing the skulls of peoples pets or wild animals to make a few quid. I got a basic qualifacation and went to London and NYC ect. I was a contract monkey. I saved, lived cheaply, came home bought a house, set up a compnay and invested in my community. This Bullshit about economic needs is rolled out more then a Queens(ny) lilo. These whinging pricks in rural outcrops need to get off thier arse and reach for the apple get some skills or education and get companies to want to go there and employ them, or move.

Rural bliss is great if you can afford it. If you can't, migrate like most of the world. see the longnow.org for a lecture on this subject.

Canada, Shit or get off the pot. Your either a sensible nice culture or you a bunch of insert favourite here......

These people are exploiting somethings life for their own gain. I like to add to life the world and create. Even oil guys create new wealth and value(in the bigger sense). Seal clubbers dont they kill and skin and make a coat. Its not even hunting do dont need skill to do this, its a job for knuckle draggers.

There is no justifacation for this senseless carry on. NONE in today world. The population boom is just a feeble angle to garner support and soften the blow. Ahh well sure were only doing them a favour in the long run..... Bollox.

You can never justify this.

They dont even eat them.......

If they even ate them it would be something.... 1/4 pounder club burger please. sorry ........