back to article MoD opens pork incubator in UK 'Golden Triangle'

The UK Ministry of Defence (MoD) intends to scramble aboard the new Brown gov concept of "Innovation" as soon as it can, through the medium of a new "pilot centre for defence enterprise". The Centre will be situated at the Harwell Science and Innovation Campus in Oxfordshire, and will hand out taxpayer pork to fund only the most …

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Alien

Better late than never.

Oh goody..... Skunk Works. And not before time, too. Talk about being behind the curve.

And porking will prevent "In a few years, no doubt, we'll all be saying that the incubator door should have been locked before all the unharnessed pork-laden talent pigs flew away." as it is surely lack of it which causes it.

The talent still has to negotiate the idiots' pool though to secure its Funding, although that may be just a case of presenting Innovative Notions to them with a copy to their dearest Rivals/Partners/Friends/Enemies.

After all what a few million/tens of millions/hundreds of millions nowadays whenever hundreds and thousands of billions are being written off because of dodgy dealings in the Money Markets. And I'll bet you whatever you like, that there is bound to be definitely an Innovative Notion to fix that little Scam, which would make IT an Absolute Bargain at whatever Initial Energising Cost.

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UK

''we'll all be saying that the incubator door should have been locked before all the unharnessed pork-laden talent pigs flew away.''

The UK is science wasteland, and we can now manufacture nothing.

We could once be self sufficient, we had gas, oil and coal, and factories to build what we need, now we are a nation of shop workers and estate agents, prime for the slaughter.

we are the pork.....

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Stop

Didnt we use to have something like this?

Was only privatised recently and called Qinetic.

I thought they did lots of defence and special boffinry, but like the combat units of the TA (now being hastily re-created, although in smaller numbers), our far sighted government said they didnt need them anymore, and sold it off for a song.

The wheel just keeps turning.

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Stop

Excuse me whilst I flap my mouth about

....but say precisely FUCK ALL!

Welcome to the brave new Britiain, AKA US Jnr.

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Alien

@Didnt we use to have something like this?

Yes, AC, and we flogged that off to some sucker so that we could start afresh with some new blood....... which makes it practically worthless now.

I do know for a fact that they [QinetiQ] had no Interest in AI for they were kind enough to say so in an e-mail ....... so as far as I was concerned, it was good riddance to bad rubbish.

And actually with regard to the other Anonymous Coward.... Posted Tuesday 25th March 2008 12:50 GMT ..... In God we Trust is for the US but in the brave new Britain, you will discover that Global Operating Devices rule the [AIR&dD] Waves, although, given the very Nature of AIR&dD Technology, what you will discover will be limited to and by your own Intelligence and nothing else....... which pretty much says precisely FUCKING EVERYTHING ......[Excuse my French/Jnr American English...... when in Rome and all that jazz]

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Flame

Translation please

What is pork in English please? I believe it means political bribes in American. Is that what you meant, or are you actually saying that the MoD has a surplus of pig meat?

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The last time we incubated anything

The last time we incubated anything the resultant "talent" all left for better paid jobs in the States ! Next lot (if there are any) will go to India or China if they have any arithmetic skills.

The only thing we successfully manufacture here, today in Blighted, appears to be hot air, sometimes known as wind.

Maybe we can huff and puff AlQeda's house down ?

Of course we also produce some of the biggest ?ankers on the planet.

Maybe they could put their wrist action into something more productive and could toss us off a coupe, in which we the Tax payers, incubate our own pork, without their (MoD and politrickans) helping themselves to our cash.

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It's not Pork Barrel politics in the classic sense

Pork barrel politics being where politicians lobby for local investment from central government to find favour with their constituents. Harwell is in a Tory Heartland, Labour won't win any votes there.

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Boffin

Innovation versus technology

in a globalized world, there is no need for a Western nation with a technology competence. technology needs facilities, developers, engineers, infrastructure, effective government investment (haha...effective government...i made funny), etc.

it also requires institutional acceptance of periodic failure. not all research projects pan out, it's usually a 30% success rate, on average. out of 7 projects, one will be a complete success with possible blockbuster potential (the Internet), two will be viable and potentially (perhaps modestly) useful (Eye-O-Sauron), and four will be stinkers (failed projects that someone with management authority, foresight and integrity, should kill, with a firm hand and a clear conscience).

innovation merely requires a clever idea that one can outsource to India, China, Thailand, Czech Republic, Russia, the Baltics, or similar, to make it as cheaply and profitably as possible, and to sell it to the sponsoring government at 6 to 12 times the reasonable price (as opposed to 2 to 4 times the reasonable price, if the product was produced domestically).

ideas are portable, facilities are not; that's why it's an innovation center.

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HuH?

"innovation nation" by first "unlocking" talent and then "harnessing"

I assume by unlocking talent they mean reducing the epidemic of functionally illiterate youths being "produced" by our education system, probably not though.

I assume by harnessing they mean tie up the few boffins we have left before they too flee this less than sceptred isle.

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Alien

not forgetting the old maxim?

a) You can have it quick and cheap but it may not work.

b) You can have it cheap and works but it may not be quick.

c) You can have it quick and works but it may not be cheap.

In essence, pick and two.

I'll wager that amfM would tend towards option b) -but then I'm not a betting man.

Surely it is better to take ones time. AIA's would be? likely to be most Passionate in Work Rest and Play.

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IT Angle

Petri Dish

Incubate pork? Surely a sad waste of valu(e and )able food that should feed hearts and minds. Blame the power hungry IT for fermenting ideas that convert corn to drugs and pork to slush.

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Joke

RE:Translation please

Actually it does mean the MoD does a surplus of unprocessed pig meat.

Apparently there was a highly secret training excersize recently that due to a map reading error took place in a pig farm.

Hundreds of pigs met their end at the hand of surprised, but determined soldiers. Due to the classified nature of the operation the meat cannot be sold, therefore a new facility is being built to find ways to effectively harness this excess resource.

We British are of course uncorruptable, and entirely honourable - we would never even contemplate pumping millions of pounds of taxpayers money into a research facility solely for the purpose of keeping our mates in a comfortable job. Honestly.

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Boffin

QinetiQ 2

A first time for me. Replying to aManFromMars....

"Yes, AC, and we flogged that off to some sucker so that we could start afresh with some new blood....... which makes it practically worthless now."

QinetiQ does rather nicely for its "sucker". In fact I'm not really sure that the directors of QinetiQ who made more than £100 million out of the floatation could be called suckers. If so, sign me up for sucker-dom.

QinetiQ's dividend went up 11% after floatation. Its OK, they're slashing jobs in the UK. Despite this they still employ a lot of British scientists, have immense pork-barrel power, and are our current preferred supplier for our useless UAV-crap. Result: profits are up 34.5%

But people are above right - this new government move is simply replacing the old Defence Research department, which was flogged off on the cheap. Looks like the incompetents in our government now regret their stupidity

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Qq far far from 'dead'

Oh believe you me!

As the IQ in the MoD buying stuff department has reached an all-time low average of 68, EVERY acquisition team appoints a 'recognised expert' to do the technical vetting of the proposed solution

The 'recognised expert' just happens to be Qinetiq - EVERY time

Every Qq 'expert' has a whale of a time showing the cheque writers just how much more damn clever he is than the tech team ACTUALLY DOING THE DESIGN

Qq are in the absolute ideal position: old rope => loadsamoney

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