From the article:

"Smart man. I find the same thing usually works with haggis substituted'

So you say "I'll make supper tonight, there's quite a few stray haggises around here"?

No wonder people don't let you near the knife rack or anything hot...

A Chihuawhatever is hardly to be considered as a threat, whereas with a haggis it would clearly have been a "eat it before it eats you" case. Killing (and subsequently eating, for the bravests) the damn thing would thus be much more justified. IMHSVHO.

The plains haggis is pretty docile whereas the long and short legged mountain haggis is a vicious predator and only the truly dumb would actually hunt one for supper.

Come now, Haggis is delicious, but one of the densest foodstuffs known to mankind; a couple of bites and you're set for a week. A Chihuahua, on the other hand, hardly seems filling at all, more of a snack.

Also, the Haggis is cuter.

Very hard to get wild haggis, most are farmed. In general as most Highland & Lowland breeds are either left or right handed (based on the longest leg) to go around mountains level at a speed faster than a man can run. Farmed haggis are cloned in much the same way as cattle from 'sports' which have legs roughly the same length.

Surely the plural of haggis is haggis?

Answers on a sheep's stomach bag

Mines the disgusting one

True story. Read it on the internet.

The chihuahua got stuck in the rottweiler's throat and it choked to death.

Of course, you weren't just trying to look clever by mentioning Latin or it could just be from grabbing the first entry in Google under "haggis plural". The origin is unknown but is thought to be French. Plural is haggises, clearly.

I was looking for a good example of an oxymoron...

[True story. Read it on the internet]

Haggises / haggii were originally French??? I'd confirm that by checking on the internet, but that could be oxymoronic...

(Sorry, job a little dull today.)

...still worried about the chihuahua, btw.