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back to article Unseen 'Marilyn Monroe' nude snap wows US expert

A Marilyn Monroe expert has been left looking a bit of a twit after a photo he verified as being a hitherto unseen nude snap of Marilyn Monroe actually turned out to be one of unihibited popstress Madonna. Chris Harris was called in by Las Vegas couple Lawrence and Phyllis Nicastro. Mr Nicastro, 73, said he discovered the poster …

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Boffin

Right

I don't blame the poor chap - it's not like anybody looks at the face, now, is it?

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Monroe expert?

My Arse!

It's nothing like Marylin. As an old bastard who was around in the Monroe era, I could tell at a glance it wasn't her.

How old is this `expert`? Some snotty nosed graduate who did Monroe as his thesis?

Marilyn was nowhere near as skinny as that, her tits were a bit more, shall we say, pert? and her face a lot softer and rounder.

Get the guy some glasses.

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Are you...

...seriously telling me that Mr Nicastro spent all that time examining that photo and didn't notice the modern cars in the background? Even from the smaller image in the link I could tell they weren't late 1950's models.

Good grief.

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Silver badge

You didn't have to look at her face Jason

Sorry Marilyn had curves that Madonna couldn't even get close too. There are plenty of stunning pictures of "Madge" (although I don't think this is one) where she looks a lot better than this, but the real deal had an hour glass shape.

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Authentication...

Not quite sure sir, let me take this round back, I've got some, er, special glasses back there. Back in a minute or three...

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Madonna will be pleased

I gather she's always wanted to be Marilyn and it must be a real boost for her to learn that ONE person on this planet thinks they look alike.

I agree with Blubster. Who IS this twit? Some dork living in his mum's basement and studying 1950s movie stars at Uni?

Perhaps he should do a post-grad degree on the history of motor vehicle design to avoid similar mistakes.

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Silver badge

So that makes two...

...people who think Madonna ever looked anything like Marilyn Monroe; this twonk and Mrs. Ritchie herself.

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Pirate

Monroe was FAT compared to Madonna ... GMAB

This so-called expert (x spert) most have been a dope, a phony, or just plain stupid; Marilyn Monroe was (compared to this era Madonna) droopy-boobed, fat assed, big hiped, thunder thighs and flabby bellied.

If MM was around today .... she'd pass for Britney Spears, and be a washout any place but a porno movie set line up.

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Good scam

Now that it's been in the papers this picture of old rictus is worth money. Maybe that talentless richy clown will buy it for the old bag as a consolation for her latest tacky failure.

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Anonymous Coward

Well, on the bright side...

...it's a Webster Phreaky post not mentioning operating systems or major computer manufacturers. One can only hope his description of Ms. Monroe was a sarcastic stab at modern standards of beauty...

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Jobs Horns

Monroe was HOT, compared to OS X ....

.... and a lot less buggy too.

I also don't believe that Marilyn Monroe ever had anything to do with a Spinning Beach Ball of wait n wait n wait .....

But Marilyn did have some bad "downloads" from Jack and Bobby Kennedy.

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Pirate

YUCK!

Madonna with no kit on? I'm gonna be sick....please god don't let it sing/mime...

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Flame

Who hasn't seen that shot?

I've seen in in bars and bedrooms and on the internet. That is a famous snap. How could anyone not know it?

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Not even the dogs are chasing after her....

Marylin Monroe was never...at her worst...as a ugly as that woman shown ...what's her name Madonna or something. Marylin Monroe had a wild life and was used up by a well known "counsellor" well known in a religion which pervades the money side media and creative arts (see internet under marylin Monroe) . She was used and abused and set herself up for it....she had a sad childnhood but she had CLASS ...but this woman shown is utterly devoid of any such assets ...and Marylin had natural beauty and sex appeal. The woman in the photo shown has absolutely nothing...sexless, foul mouthed, not even pretty and no class. Cheers

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Is he blind

Is that not a BMW 3 series over on the left?

I am pretty sure BMW 3 Series did not look like that while Marilyn was walking around!

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Coat

@ Blubster

"Some snotty nosed graduate who did Monroe as his thesis?"

Now that's my sort of degree course. Where do I sign up?

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Paris Hilton

4 months

"...and after four months researching the striking pose..."

Wow! I'm sure this guy must be blind by now - or at least have one arm much larger than the other!

Paris because, um, do I have to spell it out?

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Suspected?

"He suspected it might have been left by a customer at his New York city service station back in 1962,"

Not the sort of thing you forget, surely?

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Bronze badge

@Who hasn't seen that shot

I hadn't, although I have to say I wouldn't have mistaken Madge's sultana-nips for Munroe's cones even so.

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Jobs Horns

Not a chance.

Now if I had an original publicity shot of Madonna which I wanted to sell, there is not a chance that I would hire some "expert" to "identify" it as a long lost shot of Marilyn Monroe. It is not likely that such an act would result in far greater interest and possibly better sale price for an item that is otherwise relatively unremarkable.

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Bronze badge
Coat

@Webster - You have no taste

Regarding the debate over shapely 50s beauties versus modern anorexic bints, all I can say is that I prefer a lady to have a little bit of meat on her.

Preferably mine...

(OK, I'm really sorry, it's an old gag, I'll get my grubby overcoat etc.)

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Paris Hilton

Freudian slip or something

don't know if it was just me, but when I first read the title I'm sure it read Marilyn Manson, albeit a much better tag line I'm sure, althoguh much more improbable.

paris: cos she'd probably make the same mistake.

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@Stu

Oh thank the stars for that... I thought I was the only one (although based on my misreading I do now wonder why I clicked to read the story)

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Anonymous Coward

The things some people will do to be famous

are only slightly more remarkable than the stories some people will produce to fill column inches.

The difference between Monroe and Madonna is that only one of them could convey the impression of having fun.

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Coat

What an arse

Not the one in the photo, (you can't see it) but even I would have said Madonna before Marilyn. I don't think Marilyn ever looked like that.

(Did someone mention cars in the background - didn't see any)

Its the trenchcoat with the holes in the pockets.

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IT Angle

Self-appointed expert?

Just how the hell do you get a job as an 'expert on naked dead celebrities', then not even have to be terribly good at it?

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RW
Paris Hilton

A Common Failing

Many self-designated experts in document authentication are no such thing and are very easily fooled. This makes for easy exploitation of the gullible by the cunning: "See, I had this handwritten diary of Hitler authenticated."

Same thing happens in the art world, vide the recent scandal of the English family who scammed a number of big museums with fake antiquities.

Or search for "mormon murders" (sans quotes) at Alibris for several books relating to faked documents in Utah.

IT angle: be sure to authenticate your data!

Paris, because it's hard to tell if she's a fake airhead or an authentic one.

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Thumb Down

I have to agree

That photo has absolutely no resemblance to Marylin Monroe. Not even close. He's more or less proved his 'expertise' is a complete load of shite. The only way he could have confused this as a photo of Monroe would be if he'd never actually seen a real one.

Literally anyone, anyone at all, could take one look at that photo and determine it wasn't Marylin Monroe. Wrong face, wrong body, wrong everything - there isn't even a vague resemblance.

It always amazes me that no one checks whether these so-called experts have any knowledge to backup their grandiose claims. Obviously he's never actually seen a Monroe movie or photo, because the only other explanations are retardation or he's blind.

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@Self-appointed expert?

That'd look good on a business card - "Chris Harris. Naked Dead Celebrities Expert" - but it's hard to imagine how you'd get enough work to get by.

Or do nude pictures of now-deceased celebs turn up often enough to require specialists in this field?

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Anonymous Coward

Expert

Ex - formerly

Purt - Drip under pressure

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Anonymous Coward

Harris' new finds

Chris Harris has just announced the finds of the century, a biography of Howard Hughes and Hitler's diary, just sent him for confirmation by some guys named Irving and Trevor-Roper.

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EJ
Thumb Up

Monroe? Not even close

There's no way Monroe had abs like that. She was not ever as sculpted as that. On the bright side, I never knew Madonna was that perfect - I'd be a fan if she could have a personality transplant.

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Background...

You'd have thought that the modern day cars in the background (see the BMW peeking out?) would have given the game away. Oh well, I guess that this expert can't tell the difference between washboard abs on Madonna vs silky soft underbelly on Ms Monroe or Madonna's ever so slightly athletic, almost boyish, hips. Monroe was a woman, with curves and interesting parts. That picture clearly shows that Madonna had to go to extremes to interest anyone in her parts, and had few curves, but quite a few angles.

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Paris Hilton

Can't wait to get my degree...

...in Monroeology, so I can be an expert too!

Paris, for durrrrrrr....

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