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back to article Wheels come off Paris Hilton movie vehicle

Highly-talented she may be, but movie fans have managed to completely resist the temptation to enjoy Paris Hilton's charms in The Hottie and the Nottie, released last week to virtually empty theatres and less-than-flattering reviews. In fact, those who braved a screening of the romantic comedy may now require lengthy psychiatric …

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Dam
Paris Hilton

Hahaha actually WORTH watching to check out the horror

Title says it all really.

Think I'll grab myself a screener or something just to see for myself if the imdb comment was accurate ^^

SORRY, I SAID I WAS GOING TO BUY THE DEEVEEDEE BECAUSE DOWNLOADING WOULD BE ILLEGAL.

On the other hand I like to point El Reg readers to another movie starring Paris, which was widely acclaimed by the public: A night in Paris

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Paris Hilton

It's actually the IMDb #1 worst rated movie... EVER.

It's the worst rated movie on IMDb (and that's saying a LOT) *EVER*!

http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom?tt0804492

Sounds like it will be a clean sweep winner for the Razzies.

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Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

Who came up with that title??

Sorry, but even if it *did* turn out to be a cracking film, I have to say that title just sinks it before you even bother to see any trailer. It actually PUTS ME OFF wanting to see it!

Paris, natch :-D

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Paris Hilton

I can make movies I can

It's just like my first movie which was a straight to internet release, but with the sex removed and replaced with all I've learnt about acting from my TV series.

Mr Bush said he'd asked for lots of copies to be supplied to the US Government. Something about dropping water boards, which I think is some surfing term. He's such an intelligent guy. Sigh.

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done before

Surely Britney beat Paris Hilton to the s**t movie throne years ago with Crossroads?

and wasn't Paris herself in some lame horror thing?

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Coat

Only survived....

by gnawing off one of his own legs!!

Sorry - shameless HHGttG quote, but it seemed fitting!

Got cost.......Fetching towel!!......

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Coat

Paris's horror movie?

>and wasn't Paris herself in some lame horror thing?

You must be thinking of _One Night in Paris_

/stained trenchcoat, please

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Paris Hilton

the biggest problem of this film is it's title!

With the supposed 'Nottie' played by delicious Christine Lakin, maybe the title should have been:

The Nottie and the Hottie?

PH icon is a bit obvious here, but always glad to do her service!

Coat... yes the blue suede one with a button missing.....

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Anonymous Coward

There were 2 more awful hilton flicks

house of wax and "bottoms up" << from what I can find out it sadly isnt a porno flick....takes away any reason to watch it :(

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Paris Hilton

The title would work on another genre of film...

...not romantic comedy.

She can still sell the title back to Hustler, Buttman, Private, or whatever pr0n company she bought the rights from. Yes, think of a porn name for a movie, a porn company already owns it. You can test it on Google, think of the most outrageous NSFW title you can come up with, it´s already there for sale, either in DVD or download MPEG format.

The question mark fits nicely on the icon, since she was asking herself "Will I pay copyright to someone for using that title?"

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I saw the trailer

and that was nauseating enough. Truly disgusting.

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Silver badge

The Feisty Princess. ...... A Queen on her Good Days

Does Paris do Last Tangos? Adult ERated Moves. Is she a Really SMART Hilton?

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Ugly, hideous, nauseating

The male lead and Paris Travelodge that is.

I watched the trailer, or rather I failed to watch all of it because I was ready to throw up 30 seconds into the trailer. Which is quite impressive because the titles last for about 20 seconds.

I must you know, be like, missing, like, some whole layer of like irony in this film. Because the males objecting to someone being ugly are about as ugly as the person portrayed. And Paris Formule1 is one of the most repulsive creatures I've ever seen.

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Paris Hilton

LEAVE PARIS ALONE!!!!!

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S BEEN THROUGH!!! Leave her ALONE!!! Do you know how hard it is to launch a perfume and a movie at the same time, you f******s????!! She's done everything right and you dogs won't LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!

Chris Crocker

p.s. watch my YouTube channel, I'm great.

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Bronze badge

Someone Liked It

Followed the link to IMDb.

Currently top review on the site claims this is the best movie ever made, having a heartwarming message about the real meaning of beauty.

Of course, this may have been with as much tongue in cheek as the other one about being forced to watch it.

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Paris Hilton

Gotta love the IMDb page

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0804492/

"Synopsis: This plot synopsis is empty."

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Law
Paris Hilton

Reason #1 to watch it

"I tried in vain to turn my head to stop the terrible, soul destroying images swimming in front of my eyes, but my captors forced me to watch the unfolding horror."

This guy was obviously watching Jaws - not our Paris, surely??

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Happy

Re: A Queen on her Good Days

@amanfrommars

What an apt title.

On her Good Days, Paris (like the Queen) obtained an unnaturally massive income for doing little or nothing.

On her Bad Days (28th December 2007) ... disinherited!

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/12/28/barron_hilton_fortune/

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Tim
Happy

Sympathy

I have a limited allocation of sympathy for blonde, pointless debutantes who get ripped apart by the beast of publicity despite common sense hinting that perhaps they shouldn't feed it. Britney gets the entire budget this year. I hope the poor dear sorts her life out and finds her dignity. At least she can dance.

Meanwhile that leaves me to laugh at Paris without any danger of stimulating my natural English love of the underdog. I used to care because I do have some understanding of those who have inherited great wealth. It can bring real psychological problems with it as I've seen happen with a good friend. Some may scoff but a problem is a problem regardless of the perceived merits of the case. Unfortunately for Paris she fails on that count too, because she isn't inheriting a cent. Hahahahaha.

Time to get a job while you're young enough to learn a skill.

By the way, does she have control over her image rights and if so does El Reg pay every time someone uses the PH icon?

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You know this will become a cult classic

As with other movies that totally bomb, this one is destined to become a cult classic 20 years from now. Then Paris will get her revenge and be forced to live off of the residuals after she blows all of her money.

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Dead Vulture

I have seen all of her movies ....

so far ... and to be honest, I think her naked and gynacological ones are probably as good as she's ever going to get, and yet they're not particularly good either. I do remember House of Wax - and it was astonishing to witness not only myself but the entire family cheer when she gets the scaffold pole in the skull treatment. Even the german shepherd seemed to woof in appreciation of the happening. After that the move took off rather well, for the genre.

One wonders what to do with this poor demented little rich-for-now girl. She can't act, can't sing, can't even manage her time in jail nor keep the promises she made while in there to save the world.

I think Britney (another waste of body parts) will be first, this year even, but Paris is likely to do the Marylin Monroe thing before she's 30.

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Dead Vulture

"In the not too distant future.."

God I miss Mystery Science Theater 3000.. so much fodder, nowhere to stick it these days..

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Paris Hilton

Plot keywords

Here's a list of the plot keywords from IMDb:

* Unemployed

* Tooth Decay

* Retardation

* Fungus

* Friendship

* Male Female Relationship

* Los Angeles California

* Beauty

* Blister

* Friend

* Beach Bum

* Albino

* Schoolmate

* Ugliness

* Stalker

* Event Organizer

* Yoga

Fungus, yoga, and tooth decay - what a night out!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0804492/keywords

Mines, the Albino stalker coat at the back

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Joe

The title

I can't imagine actually going into a cinema and saying to the clerk "The Hottie and the Nottie, please". Makes me shudder with embarrassment , and I'm not a shy person!

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Go

Land of the free and the home of the brave

Thank God we live in a country where anonymous posters can criticize the rich and beautiful without fear of retribution.

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As for MST3k

www.rifftrax.com.

Worth it - worth more than the original movie, in most cases, and they do some movies that were all right but deserved a rifftrax too!

I will admit, though, nothing beats the original MST3k. *sigh* Damned network executives never know when they've got something wonderful you know?

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Paris Hilton

The Nottie is Hotter than the Hottie

the actresses playing the roles were mistakenly transposed.

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Anonymous Coward

re: mst3k

If they were ever to resurrect mst3k and they got a hold of this little gem, I have two words: blood bath. Providing the writers, actors and associated crew didn't spontaneously burst into flames.

Deep down, I honestly wonder if she realizes just how pathetic she has become and how much comic relief she provides us?

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Coat

As a child...

As a child, my parents always told me, be the best at what you do, it doesnt matter what it is you choose to do, be the very best at it...

It seems my parents werent the only ones to give that advise to their children. Paris (Bangkok) Hilton's first home movie release is a hit, brings fame to herself and the family name... and now shes decided to embark on a career of making horrible feature length movies for the big screen. and shes off to a wonderful start...

Worst Movies of all time...

http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom?tt0804492

The Hottie and the Nottie - #1

Crossroads - #24

not bad i say... only 3 attempts to hit #1

Her parents must be so proud of their little girl...

I'll be taking me coat... its the bullet proof one in the corner....

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@Dan Caugherty

Ah yes, MST3K! I love that show. Got so many recorded but so many missing. Question is though, Joel or Mike?

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Rifftrax

They've done Glitter, they've done Crossroads, they've even done Battlefield Earth, the Star Wars Holiday Special and Plan bloody 9 (twice). This movie is destined for Mike, Kevin and Bill's scathing commentary. Of course, when it happens we'll still have to pay to rent the thing but by then maybe the whole thing will be on youtube and we'll be spared the indignity of giving any kind of support to the little bint. Mine's the coat made from random household objects and marionette strings.

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Paris Hilton

The Bottom 100

Looking at her list of films in the imdb is scary - 5 films in the bottom 60 (#11 The Hillz, #21 Pledge This & #58 Nine Lives are the other 3 films not previously mentioned), 3 more worthy of inclusion but lacking in votes (QIK2JDG scored 2.3, Sweetie Pie scored 1.7 and L.A. Knights scored 1.0) a few movies where her contribution wasn't worthy of appearing on the first page of actors & House Of Wax. Is she deliberately seeking out awful movies to act in?

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Paris Hilton

Huh?

You really have to wonder how many of the voters have actually seen this movie. It came out last week and has only made 27 kilobucks, assuming a cost of $5 per ticket, that's only 5,539 viewers to 5,603 IMDB reviews. In any case, you really have to wonder what kind of a git would produce such a thing.

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Surely it can't be as back as bloody waxhouse yarn

"I found some of the metaphysical imagery particularly effective, which counterpointed the surrealism of the underlying metaphors". Bless you all, and if Paris needs some lengthy counselling I'll be here all weekend.

Icon - because [snigger] [fnaarrr].

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Serious? Worst EVER?

Worse than Mariah Carey's "Glitter"?

Worse, even, than "Plan 9 From Outer Space"?

Bra-VO!

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Paris Hilton

I can't believe it.

Worse than "Pootie Tang"? "Crossroads"? "Spiceworld"? "Battlefield Earth"? "Gigli"?

Ok, then again I think "Pootie Tang" wins hands down for worst-ever against the other ones. Though Pootie at least did $4m, while PH's movie bomb is of an epic proportion.

Had the original Blair Witch project movie gotten that much on box office, they would've had $7k profit, minus advertising. Ow.

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