So nothing new there then.

So it's a "bomb" in the oven then ?

But why disguise yourself as a pregnant women (max explosive carrying capacity circa 10lbs) when you can disguise yourself as an average American and smuggle 200lbs of explosives under a golf shirt?

"the powers that be are reportedly a tad concerned that it's "actively recruiting people who look like Americans and sound like Americans to carry out the next attack on America"."

They *look* like Americans, they *sound* like Americans, but they're *not* Americans, oh no, because legitimate US citizens don't blow things up. No, not Kaczynski, not McVeigh and not Nichols. If they blow things up, they must be foreigners.

I'll be off...

Maybe, just maybe, the people that sound and look like Americans actually are Americans and maybe, again just maybe, these Americans are not actually being recruited by El Nasty but are in fact just ordinary American people who are pissed off with their "unelected" president and general state of their government???

Alien because they told me to write this...

Seriously! Is this April 1st or something?

"a Snuke ?"

"Yes. It's a Nuke. In her Snatch !"

South Park, season 2008 I think.

Hilary Clinton was the bomber it this particular episode. And Cartman played Agent Bauer...

... this isn't what they mean by a baby boom :|

And they can't exactly x-ray pregnant women as that is supposedly harmful?

" I banged her and 9 months later she went POP ! "

Explosive prosthetic manhoods, explosive prosthetic legs. In fact lets just stop anyone with prosthetics, or clothes entering the country eh? Is it just me or does this sound a bit paranoid?

I'll get my coat - I need to go to the store and get some tinfoil before they sell out...

about: "actively recruiting people who look like Americans and sound like Americans to carry out the next attack on America". So in a country that has been populated by just about every race across the course of its history I'd love to know what an American looks like!!? I guess that actually means anyone not of middle-eastern origin, or perhaps you only qualify if you wear a checked shirt and are called Bubba!!

Seriously. The will be more scares about threats that can't be mitigated, and more impractical travel restrictions, but this is the point at which I stop caring. I'll get me coat...

"opens up from the front and the explosives are placed inside"

I would have designed it so that it opens from the back - that way the bulging belly doesn't have a telltale door!

"actively recruiting people who look like Americans and sound like Americans to carry out the next attack on America".

That makes the prime suspect... Americans!

They have the most likely match to the target group. Send 'em all to gBay for a week of interrogation, soon weed 'em out...

... appears to be the FBI. Oh well, at least the US is safe from Al Quaeda for the next few days - they won't be able to move for p*ssing themselves with laughter.

Paris because she *might* believe it

The solution is quite simple. Everyone flies in the nude!

Enough already.

In Hitch hikers Guide to the Galaxy I remember there were the 3 space ships into which one planet packed all their "entirely" useless members of society. Is there any reason we can't do this with all the "fear-mongers" and "TerrorIndustry" moguls that come out with this rubbish?

Next we'll have cops shooting pregnant women on the tube......... as well as people listening to MP3 players, using Mobile phones, listening to "Londons Burning", carrying dodgy looking CDs (in pairs as supplied by HMG Departments), carrying more than 100ml of liquid, carrying a wooden chair leg (oh - I forgot they'd already done that), using a GPS, using a 4 X 4 (could be going to ram the local airport), buying gas for the barbie, etc. etc.

... readers of Papillon will recall how Dega hid a spare pair of glasses from the prison guards ... I'm sure it's not beyond the wit of man to develop an appropriatelty shaped charge for the dedicated suicide bomber, who'd only need a seat next to the window ...

Unfortunately, it sounds like muslim women should now be subjected to random strip searching and maybe eventually even more intrusive probing in order to protect the _real_ innocent people. If they resist then they are probably terrorist sympathizers anyway. After all, if you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to fear.

It is incomprehennsibe why these people hate what America stands for. I guess that's what makes them pure evil and why George Bush's christian crusade must continue.

in the classic Hitch Hikers, the story went that 2/3 of society decided to rid themselves of the useless 1/2, so they invented a story about an asteroid crashing into the planet, and devised a plan to build 3 ships to evacuate the planet. However, they decided the "most important" 1/3 should go first (telephone sanitisers and media studies lecturers) as they felt it would be "good for morale for the remainder to know they could get a good haircut when they arrived".

When the useless 1/3 crashed into the destination planet, they decided to use the "leaf" as a unit of currency leading to massive inflation. So their executive committee embarked on a plan of deforestation to tackle the problem.

The destination planet was later revealed to be earth. And you thought it was far-fetched .....

Americans AND non-Americans. This saves them time deciding whether or not to suspect you (that can be so taxing on the average agent's mind (or what passes for it (yes these comments are getting recursive (I can handle that (can you? (if so do you know LISP)))))).

hat (Aussie, not US-style), coat, gone

Was the spokesman reffering to himself, the department of homeland security or the whole administration.

As the phrase could have been applied ot all three maybe el Reg could ask for calrification.

Look like Americans and sound like Americans? Are they inferring that Canadians are involved again?

For more proof see the Michael Moore documentary "Canadian Bacon".

All of a sudden this spam I received a while back makes sense:

"By ordering Penis Enlarge Patch, maximize your gains with our most Explosive Package!

"

Ouch!

It was only a matter of time before the next stage of the reproductive process became involved. After all 'Bush' is involved, we've got T.W.A.T. (The War Against Terror). It's time the womb was involved now...

Mine's the maternity dress with the front zip for easy access to the Semtex, please...

Presumably the idea behind this is so that if a pregnant woman gets on a bus or a train, every single able-bodied person will leap up and crowd into the corner furthest away from her, allowing her to sit down and have plenty of space. It was our loss of respect for others that made this necessary, I tell you.

Now all they have to do is issue a warning about bombs hidden in old ladies' wigs, and they'll get their seats back as well.

Get a 11 stone terrorist and sticking him in a sumo suit full of semtex would be far more effective. He'll pass off as a burger loving infidel easily.

Flammable icon seems ideal.

But one of the reasons the 9/11 pilots weren't picked up was because nobody actually thought anyone would use a commercial airliner as a weapon rather than the old Palestinian trick of just hijacking them. A very real reason for the FBI report could be that the Palestinians have already tried the "pregnant" bomber trick against the Israelis (along with using the mentally handicapped, a trick AQ have since copied) and it wouldn't take a genius to predict AQ may look at some new options. Personally, I'd be more worried about the old drug mule trick of packing a dozen swallowers (hence the Paris icon) on a flight and just telling them the swallowed condoms that are packed with explosives are actually full of drugs. Just one going pop in a window seat should bring an airliner down.

As for AQ looking for sympathisers that "look and sound American" they may just be looking for a replacement for American traitor and AQ propaganda fluffer Adam Gadahn, who may have met his seventy-two raisins in the same strike that took out al-Libi.

7 years ago we all donated to the New York fire department fund. (OK if we'd know 12 months earlier maybe some of us would have sent in phones that worked.)

30 years ago we forgave them Viet Nam. As anybody could make a mistake.

60 years ago they were Europe's darling and every household in Britain gave a florin for a statue to one of their presidents.

If George Bush died and we were invited to send a turd to to make a pile of shit to bury him in, the fund would be oversubscribed in an hour.

Where did it all go wrong?