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back to article Pipex Business calls in the strategy boutique

News of another nail in the coffin of one of UK broadband's most venerable names reaches Vulture Central. Pipex Business, one of the remnants spun out of the Pipex group as part of its voluntary self-dismemberment, has dimmed the lights, cranked up the whalesong, and is changing its name to Vialtus (pronounced vee-altus). It …

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are you sure?

are you sure it doesn't describe the state of mind of the folks in charge... I think they need to lay off those special cookies...

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Uhm..

I swear, I first read "Latinate rebranding" as "Latrinate..."

That's as may be, but, "Vialtus moves beyond 'speeds and feeds' to focus on finding solutions to business problems through a suite of managed services," tells me that Vialtus is going to focus on solving *their* business problems ("We need to make shedloads of money fast, without any investment") and play fast and loose with terms like "unlimited" (which means "extremely limited, and capped at our whim"). And when they promise you 10Mbps downstream, you should expect to see 256kbps. Unless, of course, you have already exceeded the secret bandwidth limit for the month, in which case 9.6kbps is going to be closer to the truth.

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Perhaps their last banner ad campaign didn't go so well...

http://www.haku.co.uk/b3ta/Pipex.gif

(and you get a free ringding!)

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Flame

Pipex..

See no Evil

Hear no Evil

Speak no Evil

Screw the customer base, make as much money as possible in as short as possible time and flog the business.

Ok if somebody can translate that lot into latin it makes a good company motto.

As a "used to be happy" Pipex customer I'm happy to say I will shortly be another statistic on the "customer slippage figures".

Hope the ass@ole who started this crap looses a bundle!..

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Anonymous Coward

...cash

Since they've sold a lot I imagine they have a large amount of cash to invest.

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Linux

Pipcali or Tiscapex

Really its just a load of people wanting money and sending the consumer off to the lowest quality late to answer can do nothing support.

They had to change the name as Pipex or Tiscali just says 'Call Centre' to me now, no techies and no point in buying their vapour products.

Anyway now we can associate vialtus with pipex and tiscali

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@David Willis

Screw mos substructio, planto quantus quantus viaticus ut possible in ut brevis ut possible vicis quod verbero res....

obduco mihi meus coat

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*V*I*A*L*T*U*S*

let me get this straight - they want to enhance thier performance, so they are trying Vialtus?

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Horrible name

Sounds just like a nasty sexually-transmitted disease.

"Doc, Can I have some Penicillin please? I've got a dose of Vialtus."

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B*U*Y* V*I*A*L*T*U*S O*N*L*I*N*E N*O*W

I am sure that I bought Vialtus from somebody who sent me an e-mail promising not only a bigger member but better, longer performance. I seem to remember it didn't work very well.

Now where the heck did I put it?

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Stop

got it wrong

I think readers of this piece are confusing the business/hosting division from the broadband stuff which Tiscali bought last year. As Williams points out, this is the latest bit that's up for grabs following the Pipex Broadband garage sale.

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It'll sink without trace

Because "Vialtus" is never going to get through anyone's spam filter.

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Reliant Robin

Is Vialtus the plural of Vialto, possibly the long lost brother of the Reliant Rialto?

Thought not, taxi!

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Anonymous Coward

Vialtus eh?

So what they are really saying is "our name is Highway, but we tarted it up by saying it in Latin and hope no-one notices".

What a bunch of prats.

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Anonymous Coward

In fairness

They sold their broadband services as it never made any money. The Pipex brand is associated with broadband services, which they no longer offer so makes sense to change the name.

Not a great name though.

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Paris Hilton

Damn...

1. Screwed by Worldcom

2. Screwed by Tiscali

3. Screwed by Vial... whatever...

Longtime Pipex customers are feeling a little sore.

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Happy

All in a name

"Vialtus takes its name from the Latin words Via ("way") and altus ("high") "

So they're reselling everyone a go on the Information Superwayhigh.

It's bound to catch one. Drugs anyone?

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