Sounds like Apple...

which the Catholics didn't. And the Scientificologicalifarians said there'd be aliens 'n' space blasters 'n' lava and all sorts, although the presentation looked suspiciously like an old VHS episode of He-Man & the Masters of the Universe...

For anyone that's not seen it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocw90W44Boc

why does anyone even give these morons a platform?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/legolam/20546008/

Where to start with this one? After The Shorts One's erratic behaviour in public, for his lawyer to call anything 'Nutty' is utterly bonkers...

What was all that about driving past accidents? The sooner this guy and his cult are erased the better.

Pot/Kettle anyone?

It's not so much the awful, stupid things he's saying but the /way/ he says them. I guess he's not trying to fake sincerity, but the constipated expression on his face as he makes chopping motions with his hand to indicate seriousness...

What an astonishing fool the man is.

No wonder he doesn't do many interviews! Thank god I say. He'd bore everyone to death!

"Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion." - L. Ron Hubbard

You're either in or you're out. You've got a responsiblity to create a new reality. Lets get it done, have enough love compassion and toughness, and do it, and er...do it right...

Wha-choo-ona-baaat mate? Couldn't follow most of it.

Plus the outbursts of seemingly hysterical laughter....its like a slightly mad person at the bus stop telling you a joke which only makes sense to them.

Anyone who has to use "you know" when trying to make their own argument carries zero credence.

In case you are wondering; the 'help' that Mr Cruise is offering to any accident victims consists of pointing at them.

Yes, really, no joke. Standing and extending an index finger and pointing. They call it "touch assists", which is peculiar as it involves neither touching nor assisting.

Scientology is an ideology based on incoherence sent to save us from our own lucidity. I feel that much safer now.

"Because there's still the whole thing of; let's go!"

Paris, because she's cut from the other end of the same cloth.

why thankyou sir, that kind of publicity even money couldn't buy :)

Its interesting to listen to Mr Cruise talk so passionately about this subject.

Its even more notable that every time he says "... get on board" its quite clear he's not talking metaphorically.

Ha! Once again our Thetens corrupt your puny human souls! We spit upon the Cruise and his minions of drooling sycophants! Even now our DC-8 Space Planes circle, ready to deposit alien prisoners upon your hapless world of Teegeeack! The Electronic Ribbon is eternal!

All glory to the Galactic Confederacy!

(this is all real Scientology doctrine, for those of you who didn't know)

> Standing and extending an index finger and pointing. They call it "touch

> assists", which is peculiar as it involves neither touching nor assisting.

Well, according to http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/SH6_4.HTM, it does actually involve "touching", but I think you're probably right about the "assisting" part.

Pastaferians is a ridiculous and insulting word.

If you want to be accurate, make a distinction between the real 'whole weat' pastafarians and the non believers aka spaghetti-heads.

Kind regards

Then according to Tom's logic we can safely drive by, content in the knowledge that they can help themselves.

That's a burden off my shoulders.

There is a big difference between Scientology and other religions in that its founder started it as a money-making exercise, which meant that Scientology was from the beginning an extremely efficient business operation in which revenue generation is indivisible from participation.

Other religions had at least an initial phase of genuine belief. When they gained enough followers, they became a money-making opportunity, and then the businessmen moved in. They had to bolt on the revenue generating part to the existing structure, hence the rather clumsy donation/tithing model compared to Scientology's requirement that you pay for courses to move up. Christianity would be much more efficient if they charged for entrance to the church service and premium amounts for baptisms etc, but if they tried they'd be condemned as ungodly.

Turning a cult of a few hundred members into a religion of millions also creates inevitable conflict with the original holy doctrine. It's so difficult to reconcile the existence of a multinational political and financial powerhouse like the Catholic Church with the more personal philosophy of Jesus that Jack Chick's case for the Vatican being Satanic, based on Biblical verses, is actually quite convincing (or no less convincing than any other interpretation of the Bible). Scientology has no such problem because the organisation was built alongside the doctrine, rather than after it. El Reg's IT audience should have no trouble understanding how superior this approach is.

So the religions are very different - by which I mean Scientology is better, for its purpose anyway. (The sole purpose of a religion larger than a few hundred members who all know each other is to make money and wield political influence. Salvation, if it exists, can be done in small groups just as well as large ones.) But the religions are exactly the same in terms of followers. Scientologists aren't any more extreme or more gullible than other religious folk. Tom Cruise's weird-sounding comment on stopping at accidents is reminiscent of the large number of Christians who believe that atheists are inherently immoral or amoral.

That clip is just dying out for someone to re-edit it and over-dub a wacky soundtrack to make Cruise look like a total nut-job. Oh, wait, hang on. I think he did that himself in the original!

I wonder if Cruise/Wagner Productions are ballsy enough to give Hollywood a fright with AIMedia Blitzkrieg? ..... http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/01/15/wiretap_policy_landgrab/comments/ .

I wonder if he/they need to ask permission from the Boss, whoever she may be? A hooker with a heart of gold can capture the heart, body and soul of any Live Being.... and aint that the Sweet and Sweetest of Universal Truths Uniting Artists.

3. Give the command “Feel my finger,” then touch a point, using moderate finger pressure.

Do not touch and then give the command; that would be backwards.

Touch with only one finger. If you used two fingers the person could be confused about which he was supposed to feel.

Yep, sounds good,

Now onto loaves and fish in that other barking religion...

So I looked up KSW, to see what the Xenu Tom Cruise was ranting on about.

Every course begins with the same Hubbard Policy Letter, Keeping Scientology Working, which establishes the infallibility of Hubbard's so-called "technology." In that PL, Hubbard boldly states, "What I say in these pages has always been true, it holds true today, it will still hold true in the year 2000 and it will continue to hold true from there on out." [...]

In Scientology, you cannot challenge the word of Hubbard and expect to remain a member in good standing for long. There's nothing whatsoever in Hubbard's writings and recorded lectures that a Scientologist can maintain even the most minor dispute. The Church considers that all disagreements with Hubbard doctrine come from some lack in understanding of the inviolable truths contained in the material. The only option a student has to reconcile a contrary view is to keep restudying the particular area in dispute until the misunderstanding is "cleared up." In this way the rigid dogma of Scientology is preserved, and all thoughts or opinions contrary to Hubbard's view are subdued.

Fascinating stuff.

How can us rational pacifists deal with such unbendable lunacy? Maybe we should be a bit more militant in our pacifism too?

(I included the sick bird one because, well "El Reg" is almost like "El Ron", and yeah...)

No Sacred Chao icon? I'm disappointed.

You're plugging Universal and United Artists in your post? Have you just started work for the MPAA or something?

Cruise keeps reminding us that Scientology is the only religion which will be able to bring about world peace/Unity.

I would say on that point that he is somehwat correct. Though not through the application of his religion, mainly through all the other religions and in fact anyone with a margin of cognitive function standing together pointing at him and saying

"Dude your seriously f*cked in the head"

"That's nothing, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has beer volcanoes and a stripper factory"

Wow!!

Sign me up, where should I send my $$$$$ ?

Awlright then.

Here is a religion I made up.

Because I worship myself I can promise myself that I am a god and everything is mine and I am the bestest ever.

Top that.

"the 'help' that Mr Cruise is offering to any accident victims consists of pointing at them."

Don't they ask how much cash they have on them first?

Read the bit in the scientology handbook about the touch assist. It's about reestablishing contact with the injured part of the body and draw attention to it.

If I had a sprained wrist I wouldn't need some numty poking it with their finger to draw my attention to it!

Why Paris? Best looking icon

What's this about chistianity making money;

"all they want are two things from you.

1. Your money"

The DONATIONS I give at my church goes to poorer people, around my area.