back to article Oz crematorium menaced by exploding dog

We're very much obliged to Oz's ABC News this morning for clarifying something which has been bothering us for some time: do frozen dogs present an explosion risk? The answer is a chilling yes, as proved by the case of the Darwin pet crematorium which last night got an unscheduled visit from three fire trucks and police after …

COMMENTS

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  1. Richard Granville
    Flame

    Definately the final woooof!

    I'll get my coat

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hot Dog!

    Sorry - Couldn't resist...

  3. cor
    Coat

    Hot Dog

    So it *dingo* as planned?

  4. cor
    Coat

    Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

    Ringing in the New Year with a bang.

  5. cor
    Coat

    A puppy is not just for Christmas..

    Did it smell of Mozilla or Firefox?

    Time to make my Netscape....

  6. cor
    Coat

    Dog breed?

    "The final outcome of the exploding frozen dog incident is not noted, and we are unable to provide details on the breed."

    Like I said... a "Firefox"?

    or

    since it was frozen - a Husky

    No wait, I got it:

    A St. BURNard.....

  7. cor
    Dead Vulture

    These puns are getting dog-eared

    And just for clarity : I am a doggie lover, and have a loyal Border Collie for 7 years now.

  8. Ralph B
    Coat

    Daschund?

    I suppose a sausage dog might be expected to go like a banger.

  9. Sam

    I suppose

    ..if it had become as hot as a star, it would have been really Sirius.

  10. Ferry Boat

    Programmer's Guide to Cool Things

    Why was the dog frozen in the first place?

    And - don't they have a defrost setting? I always defrost frozen animals before burning them.

  11. Derek Williams
    Dead Vulture

    They're frozen because...

    The Crematoruim don't collect from every vet surgery every day so unless you want you practise smelling of decomposing animals you keep them in a freezer until they're transported to the crematorium. It takes ages to defrost completely - think how long your Christmas turkey takes and then extrapolate to a 20Kg dog....

    (other half is a vetinary surgeon - hence knowing those things - decline ice in your drink at their christmas party - it might have dog hair in it!)

  12. Sam
    Coat

    I imagine

    ..that all that was left was a smouldering dog-end.

    The tartan body warmer thanks, time for walkies.

  13. James Dore

    Entries closed....

    For the Register Headline of the Year competition. Brilliant.

  14. Colin Millar
    Black Helicopters

    It all ties in

    Remember the story about the US training dog-soldiers for the next war in North Korea (Story about dog shoots man in arse or something).

    Plainly DARPA has booby trapped the dog soldiers so that when they die they become anti-personnel devices.

  15. Lawrence

    IRA bomb dogs

    you heard!

  16. Graham Jordan

    So when can we expect

    Exploding dogs ey?

    I'm seeing a hilarious eventuality in the fight against terroism. I don't care how many people die, an exploding mutt would cheer me right up.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    They'll have to be banned ...

    ... from aircraft now. No shoes, liquids, or frozen dogs.

  18. Ben Mathews

    Singing...

    The woof, the woof, the woof is on fire.

    We don't need to water let the motherf**ker burn...

  19. Steve Wehrle
    Happy

    You could make up a comedy sketch

    ... involving a deep frozen dog and a Chinese restaurant with a number of unexpected customers ....

    but I won't

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    sorry for this,but ...

    you could rewrite the classic joke from this story ...

    "How do you make a cat go woof?

    Put it in a furnace next to a frozen dog"

    I know, I'm in the dog's house for that one.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Frozen

    I had to put down 2 kittens with spina bifida (or fscked spines), straight into the freezer once they cooled down enough. Ah how cute.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Doggone...

    ....bang!

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So much more dignified...

    than simply burying the dog in the back yard, like most of us do.

    I guess that's not an option if you live in an apartment, but then why would you have a dog in that case (not for the dog's sake, I'm sure!)

  24. John Kirkham

    Darwin eh ?...

    Fancy that ! Darwin. I've got to move there in 2 months time. Blah !

  25. TeeCee Gold badge
    Stop

    Er?

    "....as frozen dogs sometimes explode when cremated".

    Sounds like they've done this before a few times. I'm forced to wonder why nobody over there considered the possible dangers of continuing the practice of roasting dogsicles after the first one got sent off with a bang.

  26. Sam Therapy
    Coat

    Rover roasting on an open fire

    Oh yeah, it ain't Crimbo no more.

    Mine's the big leather "axe murderer" coat, ta.

  27. tony trolle
    Flame

    bar-b-q

    Is there is a lot of Koreans in Darwin ?

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    A puppy is not for christmas

    A puppy is not just for christmas It will keep until easter in the freezer.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Ohh and

    Why dont they defrost them in a microwave first? It would be failry easy to build a magnetron into the cremation device to make them floppy. It might also expel excess moisture and make the dog burn faster.

    Could be run on solar and batteries out in Auz. The cost could be offset by lower cost of ownership on the cremation device due to reduced clean up and risk costs.

    Remember to remove outer packaging and peirce several times.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Loaded Dog

    Gee... now why am I suddenly reminded of that Henry Lawson story...

    http://whitewolf.newcastle.edu.au/words/authors/L/LawsonHenry/prose/joewilsonandmates/loadeddog.html

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