Oz crematorium menaced by exploding dog
We're very much obliged to Oz's ABC News this morning for clarifying something which has been bothering us for some time: do frozen dogs present an explosion risk? The answer is a chilling yes, as proved by the case of the Darwin pet crematorium which last night got an unscheduled visit from three fire trucks and police after "a …
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Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?
Ringing in the New Year with a bang.
A puppy is not just for Christmas..
Did it smell of Mozilla or Firefox?
Time to make my Netscape....
Dog breed?
"The final outcome of the exploding frozen dog incident is not noted, and we are unable to provide details on the breed."
Like I said... a "Firefox"?
or
since it was frozen - a Husky
No wait, I got it:
A St. BURNard.....
These puns are getting dog-eared
And just for clarity : I am a doggie lover, and have a loyal Border Collie for 7 years now.
Daschund?
I suppose a sausage dog might be expected to go like a banger.
I suppose
..if it had become as hot as a star, it would have been really Sirius.
Programmer's Guide to Cool Things
Why was the dog frozen in the first place?
And - don't they have a defrost setting? I always defrost frozen animals before burning them.
They're frozen because...
The Crematoruim don't collect from every vet surgery every day so unless you want you practise smelling of decomposing animals you keep them in a freezer until they're transported to the crematorium. It takes ages to defrost completely - think how long your Christmas turkey takes and then extrapolate to a 20Kg dog....
(other half is a vetinary surgeon - hence knowing those things - decline ice in your drink at their christmas party - it might have dog hair in it!)
I imagine
..that all that was left was a smouldering dog-end.
The tartan body warmer thanks, time for walkies.
Entries closed....
For the Register Headline of the Year competition. Brilliant.
It all ties in
Remember the story about the US training dog-soldiers for the next war in North Korea (Story about dog shoots man in arse or something).
Plainly DARPA has booby trapped the dog soldiers so that when they die they become anti-personnel devices.
So when can we expect
Exploding dogs ey?
I'm seeing a hilarious eventuality in the fight against terroism. I don't care how many people die, an exploding mutt would cheer me right up.
They'll have to be banned ...
... from aircraft now. No shoes, liquids, or frozen dogs.
Singing...
The woof, the woof, the woof is on fire.
We don't need to water let the motherf**ker burn...
You could make up a comedy sketch
... involving a deep frozen dog and a Chinese restaurant with a number of unexpected customers ....
but I won't
sorry for this,but ...
you could rewrite the classic joke from this story ...
"How do you make a cat go woof?
Put it in a furnace next to a frozen dog"
I know, I'm in the dog's house for that one.
Frozen
I had to put down 2 kittens with spina bifida (or fscked spines), straight into the freezer once they cooled down enough. Ah how cute.
So much more dignified...
than simply burying the dog in the back yard, like most of us do.
I guess that's not an option if you live in an apartment, but then why would you have a dog in that case (not for the dog's sake, I'm sure!)
Darwin eh ?...
Fancy that ! Darwin. I've got to move there in 2 months time. Blah !
Er?
"....as frozen dogs sometimes explode when cremated".
Sounds like they've done this before a few times. I'm forced to wonder why nobody over there considered the possible dangers of continuing the practice of roasting dogsicles after the first one got sent off with a bang.
Rover roasting on an open fire
Oh yeah, it ain't Crimbo no more.
Mine's the big leather "axe murderer" coat, ta.
A puppy is not for christmas
A puppy is not just for christmas It will keep until easter in the freezer.
Ohh and
Why dont they defrost them in a microwave first? It would be failry easy to build a magnetron into the cremation device to make them floppy. It might also expel excess moisture and make the dog burn faster.
Could be run on solar and batteries out in Auz. The cost could be offset by lower cost of ownership on the cremation device due to reduced clean up and risk costs.
Remember to remove outer packaging and peirce several times.
The Loaded Dog
Gee... now why am I suddenly reminded of that Henry Lawson story...
http://whitewolf.newcastle.edu.au/words/authors/L/LawsonHenry/prose/joewilsonandmates/loadeddog.html
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