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Oz crematorium menaced by exploding dog

Richard Granville

Definately the final woooof! 

Flame

I'll get my coat

Anonymous Coward

Hot Dog! 

Sorry - Couldn't resist...

cor

Hot Dog 

Coat

So it *dingo* as planned?

cor

Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? 

Coat

Ringing in the New Year with a bang.

cor

A puppy is not just for Christmas.. 

Coat

Did it smell of Mozilla or Firefox?

Time to make my Netscape....

cor

Dog breed? 

Coat

"The final outcome of the exploding frozen dog incident is not noted, and we are unable to provide details on the breed."

Like I said... a "Firefox"?

or

since it was frozen - a Husky

No wait, I got it:

A St. BURNard.....

cor

These puns are getting dog-eared 

Dead Vulture

And just for clarity : I am a doggie lover, and have a loyal Border Collie for 7 years now.

Ralph B

Daschund? 

Coat

I suppose a sausage dog might be expected to go like a banger.

Sam

I suppose 

..if it had become as hot as a star, it would have been really Sirius.

Ferry Boat

Programmer's Guide to Cool Things 

Why was the dog frozen in the first place?

And - don't they have a defrost setting? I always defrost frozen animals before burning them.

Derek Williams

They're frozen because... 

Dead Vulture

The Crematoruim don't collect from every vet surgery every day so unless you want you practise smelling of decomposing animals you keep them in a freezer until they're transported to the crematorium. It takes ages to defrost completely - think how long your Christmas turkey takes and then extrapolate to a 20Kg dog....

(other half is a vetinary surgeon - hence knowing those things - decline ice in your drink at their christmas party - it might have dog hair in it!)

Sam

I imagine 

Coat

..that all that was left was a smouldering dog-end.

The tartan body warmer thanks, time for walkies.

James Dore

Entries closed.... 

For the Register Headline of the Year competition. Brilliant.

Colin Millar

It all ties in 

Black Helicopters

Remember the story about the US training dog-soldiers for the next war in North Korea (Story about dog shoots man in arse or something).

Plainly DARPA has booby trapped the dog soldiers so that when they die they become anti-personnel devices.

Lawrence

IRA bomb dogs 

you heard!

Graham Jordan

So when can we expect 

Exploding dogs ey?

I'm seeing a hilarious eventuality in the fight against terroism. I don't care how many people die, an exploding mutt would cheer me right up.

Anonymous Coward

They'll have to be banned ... 

Unhappy

... from aircraft now. No shoes, liquids, or frozen dogs.

Ben Mathews

Singing... 

The woof, the woof, the woof is on fire.

We don't need to water let the motherf**ker burn...

Steve Wehrle

You could make up a comedy sketch 

Happy

... involving a deep frozen dog and a Chinese restaurant with a number of unexpected customers ....

but I won't

Anonymous Coward

sorry for this,but ... 

Coat

you could rewrite the classic joke from this story ...

"How do you make a cat go woof?

Put it in a furnace next to a frozen dog"

I know, I'm in the dog's house for that one.

Anonymous Coward

Frozen 

IT Angle

I had to put down 2 kittens with spina bifida (or fscked spines), straight into the freezer once they cooled down enough. Ah how cute.

Anonymous Coward

Doggone... 

Flame

....bang!

Richard Drysdall

So much more dignified... 

than simply burying the dog in the back yard, like most of us do.

I guess that's not an option if you live in an apartment, but then why would you have a dog in that case (not for the dog's sake, I'm sure!)

John Kirkham

Darwin eh ?... 

Fancy that ! Darwin. I've got to move there in 2 months time. Blah !

TeeCee

Er? 

Stop

"....as frozen dogs sometimes explode when cremated".

Sounds like they've done this before a few times. I'm forced to wonder why nobody over there considered the possible dangers of continuing the practice of roasting dogsicles after the first one got sent off with a bang.

Sam Therapy

Rover roasting on an open fire 

Coat

Oh yeah, it ain't Crimbo no more.

Mine's the big leather "axe murderer" coat, ta.

tony trolle

bar-b-q 

Flame

Is there is a lot of Koreans in Darwin ?

Anonymous Coward

A puppy is not for christmas 

Dead Vulture

A puppy is not just for christmas It will keep until easter in the freezer.

Anonymous Coward

Ohh and 

Alert

Why dont they defrost them in a microwave first? It would be failry easy to build a magnetron into the cremation device to make them floppy. It might also expel excess moisture and make the dog burn faster.

Could be run on solar and batteries out in Auz. The cost could be offset by lower cost of ownership on the cremation device due to reduced clean up and risk costs.

Remember to remove outer packaging and peirce several times.

Stuart Longland

The Loaded Dog 

Gee... now why am I suddenly reminded of that Henry Lawson story...

http://whitewolf.newcastle.edu.au/words/authors/L/LawsonHenry/prose/joewilsonandmates/loadeddog.html